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21. Posted by Cupcake (Travel Guru 8468 posts) 11y

Quoting Brendan

whatis calvinball?

1.1. All players must wear a Calvinball mask (See Calvinball Equipment - 2.1). No one questions the masks (Figure 2.1).

  • IMPORTANT -- The following rules are subject to be changed, amended, or dismissed by any player(s) involved.

1.2. Any player may declare a new rule at any point in the game (Figure 1.2). The player may do this audibly or silently depending on what zone (Refer to Rule 1.5) the player is in.

1.3. A player may use the Calvinball (See Calvinball Equipment - 2.2)in any way the player see fits, from causal injury to self-reward.

1.4. Any penalty legislation may be in the form of pain, embarassment, or any other abasement the rulee deems fit to impose on his opponent.

1.5. The Calvinball Field (See Calvinball Equipment - 2.3) should consist of areas, or zones, which are governed by a set of rules declared spontaneously and inconsistently by players. Zones may be appear and disappear as often and wherever the player decides. Zones are often named for their effect. For example, a corollary zone would enable a player to make a corollary (sub-rule) to any rule that has benn, will be, or might be declared. A pernicious poem place would require the intruder to do what the name implies. Or an opposite zone would enable a player to declare reverse playibility on the others. (Remember, the player would declare this zone oppositely by not declaring it.) (Figure 1.5a and 1.5b)

1.6. Flags (Calvinball Equipment 2.3) shall be named by players whom shall also assign the power and rules which shall govern that flag for particular moment in that particular game(Figure 1.6).

1.7. Songs are an integral part of Calvinball and verses must be sung spontaneously through the game when randomly assigned events occur. These random events will be named and pointed out after the player causes the event.

1.8. Score may be kept or disregarded. In the event that score is kept, it shall have no bearing on the game nor shall it have any logical consistency to it. (Legal scores include 'Q to 12', 'BW-109 to YU-34, and 'Nosebleed to Trousers'.) (Figure 1.9)

1.9. Any rule above that is carried out during the course of the game may never be used again in the event that it causes the same result as a previous game. Calvinball games may never be played the same way twice (Figure 1.9)

Calvinball Equipment

2.1. Mask - All participants are required to wear a mask - Figure 1.1

2.2. Calvinball - A Calvinball may be a soccerball, volleyball, or any other reasonable or unreasonable, spherical or non-spherical object - Figure 2.1a and Figure 2.1b

2.3. Calvinball Field - The Calvinball Field should be any well-sized field, preferably with trees, rocks, grass, creeks, and other natural hindrances to health.

2.4. Miscellaneous - Other optional equipment include flags, wickets (especially of the time-fracture variety), and anything else the players wish to include (Figure 2.4).

** This rulebook is not required, nor necessary to play Calvinball.

22. Posted by MattXIII (Full Member 272 posts) 11y

Edit: The humping dog is now padlocked to my cup....no now they've attached it to my frying pan

23. Posted by Brendan (Respected Member 1824 posts) 11y

Thansk for the run down CC! Sounds... interesting

24. Posted by whitb (Budding Member 35 posts) 11y

Reminded me of one

Stretching clingfilm across the toilet bowl under the seat

25. Posted by MattXIII (Full Member 272 posts) 11y

the cup is now padlocked to my cupboard door handle.

26. Posted by samsara_ (Travel Guru 5353 posts) 11y

Office Dares

This had me laughing for a good ten mins this morning:

ONE-POINT DARE

1. Ignore the first five people who say 'good morning' to you.

2. To signal the end of a conversation, clamp your hands over your ears and grimace.

3. Leave your fly open for one hour. If anyone points it out, say,
"Sorry, I really prefer it this way".

4. Walk sideways to the photocopier.

5. While riding in an elevator, gasp dramatically every time the doors open.

6. When in elevator with one other person, tap them on the shoulder and pretend it wasn't you.

7. Finish all your sentences with "In accordance with the prophecy..."

8. Don't use any punctuation.

9. Interrupt your conversation with someone by giving a huge dejected sigh.

10. Use your highlighter pen on the computer screen.

THREE-POINT DARES

1. Say to your boss, "I like your style", wink, and shoot him with double-barrelled fingers.

2. Kneel in front of the water cooler and drink directly from the nozzle.

3. Shout random numbers while someone is counting.

4. Every time you get an email, shout ''email''.

5. Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has got
over his or her caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.

6. Keep hole punching your finger. Each time you do, shout, "dagnamit, it's happened again!". Then do it again.

7. Introduce yourself to a new colleague as "the office bicycle". Then wink and pout.

8. Call I.T. helpdesk and tell them that you can't seem to access any p*rnography web sites.

FIVE-POINT DARES

1. At the end of a meeting, suggest that, for once, it would be nice to conclude with the singing of the national anthem (extra points if you actually launch into it yourself).

2. Walk into a very busy person's office and while they watch you with

growing irritation, turn the light switch on/off 10 times.

3. For an hour, refer to everyone you speak to as "Dave".

4. Announce to everyone in a meeting that you "really have to go do a
number two".

5. When you've picked up a call, before speaking finish off some fake conversation with the words, ''she can abort it for all I care''.

6. After every sentence, say 'Mon' in a really bad Jamaican accent. As
in: "The report's on your desk, Mon." Keep this up for one hour.

7. In a meeting or crowded situation, slap your forehead repeatedly and mutter, "Shut up, damn it, all of you just shut up!"

8. At lunchtime, get down on your knees and announce, "As God is my
witness, I'll never go hungry again!"

9. Repeat the following conversation 10 times to the same person: "Do you hear that?" "What?" "Never mind, it's gone now."

10. Present meeting attendees with a cup of coffee and biscuit; smash each biscuit with your fist.

11. During the course of a meeting, slowly edge your chair towards the door.

12. As often as possible, skip rather than walk.

13. Ask people what se x they are. Laugh hysterically after they answer.

14. Sign or pp all letters with your initials and a sw*stika.

15. Dry hump the photocopier. When someone spots you, stop and cough embarrassingly, then lean in to the machine and whisper loudly, "I'll see you tonight".

27. Posted by Pardus (Respected Member 2356 posts) 11y

Lol.

I heard some similar ones years ago only remember two of them.

1) Put your bin onto your desk and put a label on it saying "Incoming"

2) ask everybody who ask you for a favor "Do you want fries with that?"

Okay, another one I just remembered, it's a story of a friend of a friend....

This guy, let's call him A, had a phonenumber, somebody who rang him by mistake and now A was using this number every time he got fed up or frustrated. He would call and just shout "A...hole" and hang up. He did this for a couple of months and one day he had somebody parking in his parking space repeatedly. And that car was for sale, so there was a phone number on it. You're still with me so far? Good.
Step 1: A called the guy who sold the car and arranged a meeting to see the car.
Step 2: A rang the "A...hole" number again and when this guy started to give out he told him to meet up and fight it out... Time and place as agreed with the car selling guy.
Step 3: At the agreed time A was going over to the Car selling guy's house and watch the two beating the living bejesus out of each other...
Cruel thing to do, but somehow very entertaining...

28. Posted by samsara_ (Travel Guru 5353 posts) 11y

Personally, Ive always fantasized about just walking out of some sh1tty job at lunchtime one day, not coming back, and just leaving a note on my desk saying

"I'm gone South for the winter...."

29. Posted by Pardus (Respected Member 2356 posts) 11y

Leaving a note, attached to something brown and foul smelling, that's crossed my mind at times...

30. Posted by Isadora (Travel Guru 13926 posts) 11y

Quoting samsara2

Personally, Ive always fantasized about just walking out of some sh1tty job at lunchtime one day, not coming back, and just leaving a note on my desk saying

"I'm gone South for the winter...."

That's just about the way I left my last real job. Had enough one day, wrote my resignation (effective immediately), sealed it in an envelope and stuck a stickie note on it.

"Taking my dinner break - be back when Hell freezes over."