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What Makes A Succesful Marriage?

Travel Forums Off Topic What Makes A Succesful Marriage?

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11. Posted by samsara_ (Travel Guru 5353 posts) 11y

Here's a question:

Do you think it's vital to a relationship that your partner knows everything about your past?

12. Posted by mtlgal (Full Member 1179 posts) 11y

Quoting Wocca

Staying together is success

I disagree. Lots of marriages are still "together" as in "not divorced", but cannot be considered as successful. They don't really love each other anymore, or one or both may be cheating, or the sex life is lame... Marriage is not as simple as staying together. A better definition please.

13. Posted by tway (Travel Guru 7273 posts) 11y

Quoting samsara2

Here's a question:

Do you think it's vital to a relationship that your partner knows everything about your past?

Hmm. Maybe that depends on how it unfolds? Say your partner asks you the old favourite "How many people have you slept with?". Do you:

  • tell the truth and say "286"?
  • lie and say "Only 2 - and they were nothing to write home about"?
  • get around it by saying "I'm not comfortable talking about this right now"?

Or, say they never ask you the question and the subject somehow never comes up. Twenty years down the line, have you lied about your past by omission?

I think I've confused myself!

14. Posted by samsara_ (Travel Guru 5353 posts) 11y

I dont know if someone needs to know everything about you.

Or is that the way marriage/unconditional love works? Are your skeletons your private property or do they fall under the "What's mine is yours" marriage vow?

15. Posted by mtlgal (Full Member 1179 posts) 11y

I asked about the definition of a successful marriage to illustrate how complicated this issue is. If you can't satisfactorily define "success", then how can you comment on how to "make it a success"? Any answer we give here would be a gross simplification of one of the most complex issues in life.

16. Posted by Wocca (Inactive 3745 posts) 11y

Quoting tway

".. Say your partner asks you the old favourite "How many people have you slept with?..."

I don't know how well it goes down if you reply "I don't remember?"

17. Posted by Sam I Am (Admin 5588 posts) 11y

Quoting samsara2

Here's a question:

Do you think it's vital to a relationship that your partner knows everything about your past?

Depends on the relationship and the person. Some people need to know to be in a relationship and others don't care or don't want to know.

I have only been married for 8 months so I am no expert on what makes one successful but I'd have to agree with compromise, honesty, humour, admiration, love and taking time out for each other (that's the one I need work on...).

It'd be interesting to revisit this post in 25 years

18. Posted by mtlgal (Full Member 1179 posts) 11y

Quoting Sam I Am

I have only been married for 8 months so I am no expert on what makes one successful but I'd have to agree with compromise, honesty, humour, admiration, love and taking time out for each other (that's the one I need work on...).

It'd be interesting to revisit this post in 25 years

No need to wait for 25 years Sam. I can guarantee you that you'll be making changes to the list in just 1 or 2 years.

19. Posted by Cupcake (Travel Guru 8468 posts) 11y

Quoting mtlgal

No need to wait for 25 years Sam. I can guarantee you that you'll be making changes to the list in just 1 or 2 years.

Exactly! What works this month may not be what works next month. And what works for one couple may not work for another. Just make sure you 'grow together' and not 'grow apart'. Apathy is a big relationship killer.

20. Posted by Sam I Am (Admin 5588 posts) 11y

Oh oh, you bunch are scaring me

I think I have to stop posting now and go make time for my wife. Maybe a nice dinner since I haven't cooked for a few days...