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What Makes A Succesful Marriage?

Travel Forums Off Topic What Makes A Succesful Marriage?

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31. Posted by Wocca (Inactive 3745 posts) 11y

Quoting Zhou

Wocca, I remember when I was a junior university student, our American teacher gave the same topic for discussion.

My answer was : Sense of responsibility, honesty and understanding;
Now it is: Friendship, sense of responsibility and tolerance.

When my friend honestly told her boyfriend that she was not a virgin, her bf cancelled their wedding plan....
If my future husband tells me he`s had an affair, I`ll divorce him.

p.s. my friend is 32 years old.

Hi Zhou

It's interesting to read that your own foreign teacher also gave the same topic for discussion. Most of my students (especially the girls) felt that love was the important reason for them. Each of the 36 students then presented the reasons (in English) for their choice to the class.

Some of the other factors (in no particular order) were as follows:

healthy emotions / attitude
faith
loyalty
belief in each other
admiration
harmony
children
money
responsibility

WRT your friend's bf cancelling the wedding because she told him she was not a virgin ... I do understand & appreciate the cultural importance placed on this

32. Posted by Zhou (Full Member 126 posts) 11y

I think my friend`s bf is a jerk. But I`m kind of against pre-marriage sex.

Most of chinese girls give over their bodies to their bfs becos of "love" as far as I know. How sad...some of them are not paid-off with a marriage.

"Children" as a factor for successful marriage? Did he/she indicate children born before a marriage or after?

33. Posted by Wocca (Inactive 3745 posts) 11y

Quoting Zhou

I think my friend`s bf is a jerk. But I`m kind of against pre-marriage sex. Most of chinese girls give over their bodies to their bfs becos of "love" as far as I know. How sad...some of them are not paid-off with a marriage.

This practice happens throughout the world.

Quoting Zhou

"Children" as a factor for successful marriage? Did he/she indicate children born before a marriage or after?

Children before marriage would be quite unthinkable here in this part of China. Reference was given to procreation being the purpose and ingredient for a successful marriage.

34. Posted by zags (Respected Member 370 posts) 11y

Quoting tway

...
But I've always wondered, analysing further, if there's some buried resentment somewhere. My Dad is kind and loving but so very hard-headed. My Mom tries to please everyone and has always had issues with self-confidence. I can't remember her every showing outright affection to my Dad, and on the other hand my Dad is so inflexible there's not a bit of spontaneity in that house.

My Mom went from her parents' house to being married, and so I think she never learned who she really is, deep down, all on her own. And living with a man who's so extraordinarily stuck in his ways must have compounded that even more.
...

Sounds like typical old or traditional couples here...

35. Posted by tway (Travel Guru 7273 posts) 11y

Quoting zags

Sounds like typical old or traditional couples here...

Well, they're very old fashioned in some ways and quite open in others. They seem happy in the sense that everything is "safe" - retirement in a few years, house paid for, same routine every day. I just get this feeling that my Mom is somehow unfulfilled - that the sum of her fears and the type of person my father is have kept something tucked deep, down inside.

But! That's me looking at them through my own eyes. I'm sure they look at some of the things I do (in fact, I know they do) and think "What??!?"

36. Posted by Wocca (Inactive 3745 posts) 11y

Could this be what the generation gap is all about ?

37. Posted by Wocca (Inactive 3745 posts) 11y

The other factors given by the Chinese students, which don't appear to have been mentioned so far in this thread, are as follows:
Patience
Communication
Character
Sharing
Background
Heart & Soul
Integrity
:)Kindness
Passion
Romance

38. Posted by Cupcake (Travel Guru 8468 posts) 11y

Quoting mtlgal

What is a "successful" marriage???

One in which you haven't killed eachother yet;)

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