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travelling SEA 6 months without my partner should I go?

Travel Forums Asia travelling SEA 6 months without my partner should I go?

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1. Posted by GxStace (Budding Member, 3 posts) 15 Jul '14 01:37

Hey guys, i'm really torn. My partner does not want to travel the world like I do. We've been together 2.5 years and are engaged. I love her more than anything. Were 21 years old and all iv ever wanted to do is travel. Last night she told me I should go solo for 6 months to SEA without her an we will try to make it work. She said she'd fly out half way to see me. Should I go? Or should I just settle for 2 holidays a year and get over it. I know she would struggle with the bills also on one wage. Im gutted she wont come with me. Would I be incredibly selfish? I get depressed thinking about being stuck 9 - 5 for the rest of my life not experiencing anything of the world. advice would really be welcome!!

2. Posted by heartscontent (Budding Member, 7 posts) 15 Jul '14 04:29

traveling with your partner is a great way to bond, know more about each other and work out petty quarrels instantly because you only got each other on the road ... that's what happens whenever my beau and i travel. we have been traveling since 2009, though only on short trips (5days max) and he travels to my place for about three weeks max...

but if you really want to travel, and your partner cannot, i think you really have to ask yourself - do you really want to travel? do you want to explore the world even without your partner? are you hungry to conquer the world?

if your answer to all these are YES!!! then by all means, do what makes you happy. so you can stop wondering "what if" ... "when i was younger" etc.

BUT be prepared - it's extremely difficult when you are in a long distance relationship.

hope this helps ... good luck!

3. Posted by KellieBarnes (Admin, 664 posts) 15 Jul '14 05:05

Go with your gut.

If your heart desires to travel (that's why we're all here!), then travel or that will forever be something inside you that will lead to unhappiness and possibly resentment later. The fact that she has told you to go and she will come out half way to meet you is a great compromise. If she does not have the same desire but gives her blessing for you to achieve your dreams, I think that is very lucky indeed.

Good luck

4. Posted by karazyal (Travel Guru, 1299 posts) 15 Jul '14 13:47

For a trip of 6 months your GF might assume you are living it up and sleeping with pretty Asian ladies. (Or Asian ladyboys.) Will absence make the heart grow fonder or just cause more friction between you and your girlfriend? Will she find someone to replace you when you are gone???

Is there any other reason she is encouraging you to go for 6 months?

Six months is a long time to voluntarily absent yourself from your GF. It's not like you are in the military and you must go away. Why not both of you go for 2 or 3 weeks or some shorter amount of time you can afford.

When you are in a beer bar in Thailand one term you hear every now and then is - "up to you!"

Up to you!

5. Posted by CheersT (Travel Guru, 1574 posts) 15 Jul '14 14:28

1.) She hates travel.

2.) All you've ever wanted to do is travel.

3.) You've been together since you were kids. And by many measures you're both still kids.

Bottom line, after the first bloom as worn off - and it will - you'll become a bitter, frustrated and angry man.

Good luck.

Cheers,
Terry

6. Posted by avneet (Budding Member, 24 posts) 16 Jul '14 03:43

She advised you to go so baby pack up and go.May be tomorrow you would regret on your plan of not going.So just make some plan and leave.;)

7. Posted by GxStace (Budding Member, 3 posts) 17 Jul '14 11:09

Hahaha thanks for all the advice guys, it looks like ill be going, I spoke to her again and she pretty much said we wont be able to make solid plans for the future (mortgage, kids, etc) until I "scratch the itch". So I better get planning!!

8. Posted by KellieBarnes (Admin, 664 posts) 17 Jul '14 18:52

Congrats! That's great news.

Now go and have a great trip!

9. Posted by Sander (Moderator, 4395 posts) 18 Jul '14 03:27

Be aware that you'll change a lot during the time you're travelling, while she will be at home staying in the everyday routine. You will both need to work consciously to bridge that gap; for you, that involves taking the time every day to not only tell her about what you experienced, but to also remain interested in her days, even as you will feel that they pale next to what all you're doing. And for her, that means remaining supportive, and following along beyond just the surface of what you're doing, but really trying to imagine what kind of effects all these experiences are having on you.
Longterm travel with a partner staying at home can be incredibly hard on a relationship. Keep focusing on the things you have in common, keep communicating, keep trying to see things from each other's perspective. Good luck - and enjoy the travelling! :)

10. Posted by heartscontent (Budding Member, 7 posts) 18 Jul '14 07:11

that's awesome! do what makes you happy but dont forget to keep the lines of communication open with the one you love... constant communication - twitter, FB, IG, skype, whatsapp - the works, as long as you will constantly communicate and reassure your love for each other.

now it's time for you to plan your journey, have a wonderful time on the road :)