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Is it better to lie or to tell the truth and hurt someone

Travel Forums Off Topic Is it better to lie or to tell the truth and hurt someone

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1. Posted by dpd (Full Member 138 posts) 11y

Sometimes it's easier to lie than tell the truth, especially if it's a big lie. Like say having and affair, obviously if your in that situation you don't want to tell the truth about it. But when you get found out then the crap hits the fan. If you knew someone was having an affair with your best friends other half would you tell the truth, as in tell your best friend about it

2. Posted by Zhou (Full Member 126 posts) 11y

What a dilemma! I`m very curious to know the answer.

3. Posted by Cupcake (Travel Guru 8468 posts) 11y

I've done both (kept my mouth shut for one, and told on another) Either way sucks for lack of better adjectives.

4. Posted by mtlgal (Full Member 1179 posts) 11y

I wouldn't tell my friend. I would have a talk with my friend's partner and try to understand his/her motives, try to help him/her to solve the problem. People usually don't just have affaires. Usually is a symptom of a problem in the relationship, be it emotional or physical. Or it could just be that his person is an asshole, which also happens, unfortunately. Regardless, telling your friend is not going to make the situation better. If you do think you friend has the right to know, the partner should be the one telling, not you.

5. Posted by Zhou (Full Member 126 posts) 11y

Quoting mtlgal

I wouldn't tell my friend. I would have a talk with my friend's partner and try to understand his/her motives, try to help him/her to solve the problem.

mtlgal, I wish I had a friend like you!

6. Posted by mtlgal (Full Member 1179 posts) 11y

Quoting Zhou

mtlgal, I wish I had a friend like you!

Aww, what a compliment. I'll be your friend anytime girl!

7. Posted by Wocca (Inactive 3745 posts) 11y

Quoting dpd

Sometimes it's easier to lie than tell the truth, especially if it's a big lie. Like say having and affair, obviously if your in that situation you don't want to tell the truth about it. But when you get found out then the crap hits the fan. If you knew someone was having an affair with your best friends other half would you tell the truth, as in tell your best friend about it

I would tread very carefully on this one. Sometimes, when you get in between a couple, they join together and turn against you

8. Posted by Cupcake (Travel Guru 8468 posts) 11y

I did, but in the case where I told her....Her husband was my boss, and was screwing everything in site, making a fool of her literally (bad mouthing her, etc..) she had an idea what was going on. When she asked me point-blank, I could not lie to her. That was 3 years ago, they are still together and we are still friends. I would not just run and tell them, unless you actually SAW them cheating..it really is just heresay...not a fun spot to ever be put in:(
But you are very correct Wocca, sometime they do 'kill' the messanger!

9. Posted by abcdf (Full Member 557 posts) 11y

when i was 19. i was forced to get involved with my friend/roommates relationship problems. the problem was her boyfriend liked me... and would send me flowers. i just didnt know what to do. and it pissed me off. so i confronted her about it. he was kind of arrogrant, he liked other girls. so i told her the truth. we ended the friendship, because i told her to choose between us. and now they are engaged. so sheesh. i would still tell her. does that make me insane.

10. Posted by ChIqUiTtA (Respected Member 278 posts) 11y

here's a quote from the "Kite Runner"....

It's better to be hurt by the truth than to be comforted by a lie...

isn't that the answer you need?
Lauren;)[/b]