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Time to be honest, guys and gals...

Travel Forums Off Topic Time to be honest, guys and gals...

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21. Posted by thezenyen (Full Member 88 posts) 11y

Quoting remarcable

Nah. I doesn't bother me a bit. Unless she has a superiority complex. A better question..will a women date a man less sucessful?

M.

Good for you! I have to say though, I have dated a couple of men who were really bothered they didnt make more than me. Its tough dealing with delicate egos.

22. Posted by Hien (Moderator 3906 posts) 11y

This ponders another question.

What if the relationship consist of a couple of the same sex? Should they both earn the same figure then?

23. Posted by Isadora (Travel Guru 13926 posts) 11y

Always thinking aren't you, Hien?! Maybe they would flip a coin - or switch off with every job change.

I've earned more and earned less. It was always more of an issue for the man. Luckily, they aren't around anymore. Mr I and I have never had a problem with who was the major wage-earner - and it has gone back and forth several times. It's only money.

24. Posted by Gelli (Travel Guru 2457 posts) 11y

It doesn't especially bother me, although even if i earn substantially less (i.e. a quater or less) than she does, i like to be able to pay myself for things sometimes, even if she insists it isn't neccessary.

However, allot of it depends on the person/personality and to a point, background (i.e. if from a very rich background, it can be much harder), allot more than her actual wealth. Especially if they try and bring you up to their levels by spending lots of money on you for the sake of it, i would really struggle [yes i know how daft that sounds]. I need them to understand that Money isn't everything to me, and, for example, th ereason i don't own a car isn't because I can't afford one, but because i have no need/have no problem with public transport.

And having said all that, as i've never actually been in a conventional relationship it's harder to know, and it probably would be different even though i hope it wouldn't.

25. Posted by Wocca (Inactive 3745 posts) 11y

Quoting mtlgal

Would it bother you if you were in a relationship where the woman earned double the man's salary? I would like to hear some honest responses from both sexes please.

Quoting Hien

This ponders another question.
What if the relationship consist of a couple of the same sex? Should they both earn the same figure then?

There's possibly greater likelihood of social mores influencing the male / female relationship rather than same sex couples.

Perhaps the recent thread "Same-Sex Marriages" might hold more scope for comments on same-sex relationships:

http://www.travellerspoint.com/forum.cfm?thread=9829

26. Posted by noemagosa (Full Member 355 posts) 11y

Are we talking about long term relationships? Are we talking about LOVE relationships?

Because I don't see the connection between love and money... If the "money problem" arises, then we are not talking about love!!

My husband and I are both working at the moment, and we like our respective jobs, but both of us would be happy to stay home (to cook, clean, and be happy when the other comes back home! ) and/or earn enough to support a family...

27. Posted by mtlgal (Full Member 1179 posts) 11y

Quoting noemagosa

Are we talking about long term relationships? Are we talking about LOVE relationships?

Of course we're talking about long-term relationships. I don't think that money and ambition are much of an issue in short-term, more casual relationships. It's great that you and your husband are on the same wave-length about money and career; unfortunately, it's not always the case with some relationships.

I disagree with "love is all you need" philosophy on relationships (The Beatles were dead wrong). I've seen plenty of cases where love is abundant, but the relationship altimately fails due to many reasons (e.g., personality conflicts, lack of interests in common...). Money problem, like any other problem in life, can arise in any relationship, even "love" relationships. Love also comes in many forms. When it's a relatively new relationship (let's say less than 5 years), love can be very passionate; but with time, the passionate love often evolves into compassionate love, where the passion has fizzled but they care about one another and respect one another. But I digress. Just wanted to answer noemagosa's post, has little to do with the orginal salary discrepency issue.

28. Posted by tway (Travel Guru 7273 posts) 11y

I agree, "love is all you need" is true if, and only if, "love" includes a whole bunch of other pre-requisites for a successful relationship/marriage. Wiat, wait, that's another thread...

I can definitely see where money can cause a rift between two people who love one another. I once worked with a girl whose boyfriend stopped coming home because he couldn't face the mountain of debt she was racking up. There was no way to seperate their love for each other and their money issues - over time, one contaminated the other.

Anyone who thinks love and money shouldn't be spoken about in the same sentence is asking for a rude awakening. Although if you've figured out how to keep the two pure and seperate - more power to you! ;)

29. Posted by remarcable (Respected Member 335 posts) 11y

LOL..I thought the post was based on a female doctor and cop no longer existing because she made more money?

Oh well..this what I think:

Everyone has this conception that love is this magical thing. Where everything is all "honky dorie"...4 ever. The fact of the matter is love, like anything else in life takes work. It needs to be maintained.

I'am not going to speculate on Tway's coworker. I do question, what did he do to maintain the relationship? Did he cut her credit cards. Have seperate accounts? Gave her rules? Did he know about her spending habits beforehand? Where they married or living together? If not, why does he even care?

I just have a hard time excepting two people who claim to be madly in love...or soul mates, breakup over something that can be replaced or taken. What's next? My next relationship, we should have a payroll stub, bank account statements, and a credit score handy?? Just in case it's the real thing??

It poses the question, were you actually in love; or in love with the idea of being in love?

M.

30. Posted by Wocca (Inactive 3745 posts) 11y

Quoting remarcable

"...It poses the question, were you actually in love; or in love with the idea of being in love? M...."

Very incisive, M about adolescent love