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Time to be honest, guys and gals...

Travel Forums Off Topic Time to be honest, guys and gals...

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31. Posted by tway (Travel Guru 7273 posts) 11y

Quoting remarcable

Everyone has this conception that love is this magical thing. Where everything is all "honky dorie"...4 ever. The fact of the matter is love, like anything else in life takes work. It needs to be maintained.

I agree wholeheartedly, Marc. It can feel "magical", but not all by itself.

My original point was about money being part and parcel of any relationship. You can't seperate "love" from "real life" - money, housework, family obligations, work, bad habits, etc. etc. Love has to take all this into account. Love, at the very least, is far from being spit-shiny clean. It's bumped and bruised and battered. But, as they say, scar tissue is a whole lot stronger than nice, clean skin.

My co-worker and her boyfriend ended up splitting up. I'm not sure the details - I have a feeling they never really sat and discussed everything, but let resentment build up instead.

But - I have gone off topic, haven't I? What was the original questin again?

32. Posted by mtlgal (Full Member 1179 posts) 11y

Quoting tway

You can't seperate "love" from "real life" - money, housework, family obligations, work, bad habits, etc. etc. Love has to take all this into account. Love, at the very least, is far from being spit-shiny clean. It's bumped and bruised and battered. But, as they say, scar tissue is a whole lot stronger than nice, clean skin.

Tina, I so agree with you and couldn't have said it better!! A colleague of mine decided to go back with her husband; they were separated for a year and have a child together.She told me that she hated it when people asked her whether she went back for love or for her child. She said that she couldn't separate her love for her husband from concerns for her child and considerations for the whole family as a unit. These things are far from mutually exclusive, and people don't understand what she's talking about unless they have had a similar experience. Love, indeed, is very complex. The more I live the more complex love becomes. I remember when I was a teenager and love did seem "magical" and made everything "honkie dorie" and believed in "love is all we need"; but it was an adolescent delusion. Although, I wouldn't mind having some of those delusions back; sometimes I feel that life has made me too jaded.

33. Posted by noemagosa (Full Member 355 posts) 11y

Quoting remarcable

I just have a hard time excepting two people who claim to be madly in love...or soul mates, breakup over something that can be replaced or taken. (...)

It poses the question, were you actually in love; or in love with the idea of being in love?

M.

Marc, you are really saying what I meant to say... My ideas get so mixed up in my head sometimes that I don't know how to put them down anymore!

I don't see how 2 people supposedly in love split up because of a money problem... If love is the most important for both and some problem arise... Well, then sit down, discuss it, and fix it!

And Viviane, yes, love is complicated... It's a constant hard job from BOTH parts!...

Noelia

34. Posted by Brendan (Respected Member 1824 posts) 11y

Quoting noemagosa

yes, love is complicated... It's a constant hard job from BOTH parts!...

Is it worth it?

35. Posted by mtlgal (Full Member 1179 posts) 11y

Quoting Brendan

Quoting noemagosa

yes, love is complicated... It's a constant hard job from BOTH parts!...

Is it worth it?

When love comes, there's no avoiding it, so whether it's worth it or not is a moot question. Love is not usually something that can be controled. If you're afraid of love, start with lust, it's much simpler. Be careful though, lust can inadvertently turn into love.

36. Posted by Wocca (Inactive 3745 posts) 11y

Quoting mtlgal

"...If you're afraid of love, start with lust, it's much simpler. Be careful though, lust can inadvertently turn into love...."

What sort of love can lust inadvertently turn into?

37. Posted by areinstein (Travel Guru 2788 posts) 11y

The type of love that will sweep you off your feet, the OCD type of love, the I-can-live-without-you type of love...lets just stick to the lust part, I dont like the other part...

38. Posted by tway (Travel Guru 7273 posts) 11y

Quoting areinstein

The type of love that will sweep you off your feet, the OCD type of love, the I-can-live-without-you type of love...lets just stick to the lust part, I dont like the other part...

Oh, Anne - I love that kind of love. Not so much the "I-can't-live-without-you" stuff (because we have to be strong and whole in and of ourselves to be able to love someone else intensely and fully). But I love to feel swept off my feet - and to know I've knocked somebody silly, too. Must be the poet-complex in me... ;)

39. Posted by Cupcake (Travel Guru 8468 posts) 11y

Ahh...that 'urgent' type of love...where you must have them..NOW! (The only way that could be perfect is if they knew when to get dressed and get out. Preferably while I am in the shower;) )

40. Posted by tway (Travel Guru 7273 posts) 11y

Joz, you're funny!

No, no - those are the momentarily urgent types. The ones you never introduce to anyone...

I meant more the type where, as you get to know them, you love them more and more - even though you think you can't possibly love them anymore than you already do. I like the slow sweeping off of feet - better for your back.