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why do I need to travel so bad!

Travel Forums General Talk why do I need to travel so bad!

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11. Posted by Jadeeew (Budding Member 6 posts) 1y

Just go go go! I just had to break up with my boyfriend as he doesn't really want to go travelling and tbh even if he did I don't think I would want to do it with him anyway (different issue altogether! The feeling will always be there unless you fulfil your dreams and desires to see the world. ?

12. Posted by CheersT (Travel Guru 2455 posts) 1y

Let me answer the question you posed in your Original Post...

Q: Why do I want to travel so bad?

A: Because you've only had one serious relationship your entire life and you're staring down the barrel of a gun loaded with marriage/kids to someone who has zero interests outside her one tiny little boring sphere.

Run away before you're cut off at the knees and she's wearing your balls as earrings...

Cheers,
Terry

13. Posted by Sander (Moderator 4833 posts) 1y

Quoting traveller...

Welll I was planning to waot a month to say anything but she found some travel things. I was looking at. Started asking me what this was all about and how she cant go through another 5 weeks. I wanted to lie but I just suck at it. So after awhile of her pressing me I finally said im just not sure about getting married inwithin a year. Mostly because I want to see more of the world before I settle down. She was devistated! I feel like such a dick.

It sounds like your relationship could benefit from some very long and honest conversations. I wouldn't recommend just throwing it away - there's a reason you've been together for six years, after all! - but if your first instinct is to lie to her when she discovers something which is so important to you, then you've both gone rather off-track somewhere.

You probably both have assumptions about life and each other which don't necessarily hold true (anymore). Talk! Talk more! Tell each other about all your dreams and what's really important to you. A successful relationship is continuous work. Trust the other to be strong, and when you actually understand each other again, then work together to see if you can chart some kind of future which fits both your desires.

There's a realistic chance that you've diverged so far that you'll end up doing what posters above me have said, and leave her. But if this is someone you actually want to marry, then it's worth fighting for that not being a foregone conclusion, and if you're the person she wants to marry (rather than someone who's convenient for what she's planned for herself), then she'll do the same (though give her some time to realize that!)

Travel is extremely worthwhile, and broadens the number of paths you can take in your life. Obviously, I (along with effectively everyone on a travel forum) will recommend to pursue that. But it's not necessarily an either/or question.

Also, be warned that you're very likely fooling yourself if you think that after a single "dream trip" you'll be over travelling. You'll likely want to continue to head out every other year or so. It's definitely possible to arrange your life to do this (even when there's children; there's countless families travelling the world together) - but it'll always require hard work, dedication, and - if you're doing it together with a significant other - continuous conversation.

Good luck.

[ Edit: Edited on 03-Jan-2015, at 13:02 by Sander ]

14. Posted by SpaceCowboy (Budding Member 19 posts) 1y

You shouldn't let anyone stand in front of your journey, we all get caught up in life in various forms but your a young man, and it sounds like you want to go see the world and live before you feel you can no longer do it.

The fact is as humans we change a lot. Biological clocks start ticking, we see hear and watch things that change/shape our opinions. When you have been with someone for 6 years a lot changes.

Unfortunately we are also creatures of habit and without strong resolve fall into a job we have been at for years, we watch the same crap on tv and eat the same shit day in day out, and reltionships are no different. We meet a new person and time passes and suddenly it's 6 years down the line, lots have changed but your in the habit of not being able to function without each other.

It's ok to grow apart it's natural, most people never realise it and then they end up married with kids having affairs, suffering from depression, with £27000 worth of debt and a mundane job thinking damn where did I go wrong.

Live the dream bro, you getting the urges for a reason and your not wrong.

[ Edit: Edited on 03-Jan-2015, at 13:21 by SpaceCowboy ]

15. Posted by Larassa (Inactive 8 posts) 1y

Its a difficult problem that certainly cannot be figured out on the web forums by people you don't know.
You just have to sit and think what's more important for you - your relationship or your passion. It sucks that your partner doesn't share your hobby and doesn't want to get into it. If you are a natural born traveller and you can't live without it, you might end up as an unhappy person if you get to submissive to your partner. On the other hand, im sure your girlfriend is an amazing person, if you've been with her for so long. Perhaps you just have to discuss with her and explain that you are not yet ready to get married and have kids. In my opinion, relationships are the art of compromise. You can never allow one side to get 100% what they want, if you want otherwise.

16. Posted by Carlm90 (Inactive 38 posts) 1y

Quoting CheersT

Let me answer the question you posed in your Original Post...

Q: Why do I want to travel so bad?

A: Because you've only had one serious relationship your entire life and you're staring down the barrel of a gun loaded with marriage/kids to someone who has zero interests outside her one tiny little boring sphere.

Run away before you're cut off at the knees and she's wearing your balls as earrings...

Cheers,
Terry

I just want to quote what Terry said because this pretty much sums up what I have experienced and I'm just about to leave at the end of May.

Do it and don't look back. Everything happens for a reason.

Post 17 was removed by a moderator
18. Posted by MissCandy (Budding Member 48 posts) 1y

Hello! I think with your age, you're still young and you should experience the beauty of life and the world. If that girl loves you sincerely, she can understand that. You don't know if its meant for you if you don't experience other things in life. You should explore and experience life before its too late:)

19. Posted by Larassa (Inactive 8 posts) 1y

Agree! You can't just stay in one place if you have a desire to travel. There're so many things worth to see! So many adventures! Travels create a lot of unforgettable memories. If you don't feel ready to start an adult life now, you shouldn't. You'll regret your whole life if you miss this oportunity. And it's easier now, when you have not your family yet. You're young and take an advantage if it! Good luck!

20. Posted by trixity (Inactive 2 posts) 1y

If you need to go, just go! You can't predict how your life is going to be if you stay.You don't know if you'll be happy with your future family if you abandon your trip plans. But you can be totally sure that it will hunt you forever. I know, you're in a relationship and you can't decide only for yourself. But if you have this urge, you won't supress it easily.