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The Bacon Tree...

Travel Forums Off Topic The Bacon Tree...

1. Posted by daveh (Travel Guru 1027 posts) 11y

THE BACON TREE
Two Mexicans are stuck in the desert, wandering aimlessly and close to death.
They are close to just lying down and waiting for the inevitable, when all of a sudden...
"Hey Pepe, do you smell what I smell. Ees bacon, I is sure of eet".
"Si, Luis, eet smells like bacon to meee".
So, with renewed strength, they struggle off up the next sand dune, and there, in the distance, is a tree, just loaded with bacon.
There's raw bacon, dripping with moisture, there's fried bacon, back bacon, double smoked bacon...every imaginable kind of cured pig meat you can imagine!!
"Pepe, Pepe, we ees saved. Eees a bacon tree".
"Luis, are sure ees not a meerage? We ees in the desert, don'forget".
"Pepe, when deed you ever hear of a meerage that smell of bacon...ees no meerage, ees a bacon tree".
And with that...Luis races towards the tree. He gets to within 5 metres, Pepe following closely behind, when all of a sudden, a machine gun opens up, and Luis is cut down is his tracks. It is clear he is mortally
wounded but, true friend that he is, he manages to warn Pepe with his dying breath.
"Pepe...go back man, you was right, ees not a bacon tree"
"Luis, Luis mi amigo...what ees eet?"
"Pepe...ees not a bacon tree....
"Ees...... Ees, a Ham Bush"

2. Posted by Cupcake (Travel Guru 8468 posts) 11y

There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest. He sent in ten different puns, in the hope that at least one of the puns would win. Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.

3. Posted by Cupcake (Travel Guru 8468 posts) 11y

A group of chess enthusiasts had checked into a hotel, and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour,the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse.

"But why?", they asked, as they moved off.

"Because," he said, "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."

4. Posted by bluewaav (Inactive 627 posts) 11y

Hmmm . .. the last one was not quite .

5. Posted by Wocca (Inactive 3745 posts) 11y

One day at the watering hole, an elephant looked around and carefully
surveyed the turtles in view.

After a few seconds thought, he walked over to one turtle, raised his
foot, and KICKED the turtle as far as he could. (Nearly a mile)

A watching hyena asked the elephant why he did it?

"Well, about 30 years ago I was walking through a stream and a turtle
bit my foot. Finally I found the S.O.B and repaid him for what he had
done to me."

"30 years!!! And you remembered...But HOW???"

"I have turtle recall."