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Western girls beware of charming Sri Lankan men

Travel Forums Off Topic Western girls beware of charming Sri Lankan men

1. Posted by malbec (Budding Member 2 posts) 1y Star this if you like it!

I am a European woman married to a Sri Lankan 'man/boy/king' ha 😐 in their Mother's eyes!

A few words of warning for any other women thinking of marrying a Sri Lankan. It is not an easy path to go down. I worked very hard to bring my husband to Europe and now I think why? I know if things were the other way around I'd still be waiting. My husband is not a bad man really it is the culture of which he is a product of. Before we were married he was very relaxed and fun seemingly accepting of the western culture but after marriage things are different. He does not seem to have much respect for western women in general and makes negative comments, even though people have been nothing but welcoming to him. He thinks western women are alcoholics with loose morals (maybe some but not all). It is very difficult to get him to pay his way even when it is for his child. He does nothing in the house to help and leaves everything for me to do. He stares at girls/women when we are out he doesn't care if it hurts my feelings and does it in my face. His main goal is to build a home in Sri Lanka for his family and saves every penny for this purpose.

As I said a word of warning think before you take that path. We are still together but it can be hard and very very frustrating.

2. Posted by Peter (Admin 6188 posts) 1y Star this if you like it!

So, you are annoyed that he is showing a prejudice about western women?

In a post where you prejudice all Sri-lankan men?

Your grievances with his behavior are fair, but you shouldn't use it to draw conclusions about an entire culture. It sounds to me like you need to leave and find yourself someone who respects you. Just because you are on this path now, doesn't mean you have to stay on it.

3. Posted by malbec (Budding Member 2 posts) 1y Star this if you like it!

I am not trying to taint an entire race however I have first hand experience, I am not the only one to feel this way. 61% of Sri Lankan marriages are unhappy and the very issues I have listed are cited. Sri Lanka needs to stop wrapping their sons in cotton wool and bring them up in a way which is conducive for a happy home life and not a life of servitude for it's women. I believe in marriage and do not want my children to come from a broken home.

It is just something for people to consider when marrying into such a different culture. In terms of gender equality Sri Lanka is about 100 years behind Europe.

I am anything but prejudiced, I have first hand experience of my marriage and seen many others having lived in Sri Lanka. Do you?

Just a word of warning and that is all I will say on the matter.

[ Edit: Edited on 05-Nov-2015, at 00:14 by malbec ]

4. Posted by Peter (Admin 6188 posts) 1y Star this if you like it!

I clearly have no experience being married to a Sri Lankan, but conversely you only have experience being married to one Sri Lankan. So neither of us can draw conclusions about how it is to be married to any Sri Lankan. But I do concede that marrying into a culture where gender equality lags is certainly a risky endeavor, particularly if you are unwilling to break the tie of marriage when things don't turn out as expected.

I understand your concerns about having children from a broken home, but do you really want your children to grow up in a family where the male is allowed to treat his spouse with disrespect and get away with it? If you have a daughter, they will grow up thinking the right thing to do is put up with this kind of behavior. If you have a son, they will grow up believing this is the normal way to treat women. The only option in which your kids experience what marriage should be like is one where you remarry with someone who actually respects you and treats you like an equal.

Whatever your choice, I do sincerely wish you all the best.