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Sex Qoutes

Travel Forums Off Topic Sex Qoutes

1. Posted by Cupcake (Travel Guru 8468 posts) 11y

Do not read if easily offended;) This is all in fun:)
They probably aren't attibuted to the proper people, but they are funny just the same!

"Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday

"There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual
arousal, particularly in women. Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz 380SL."

"Sex is one of the nine reasons for incarnation. The other eight are

"Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake a whole

"Hockey is a sport for white men. Basketball is a sport for black men. Golf is a sport for white men dressed like black pimps."
Tiger Woods

"My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch."
Jack Nicholson

"Clinton lied. A man might forget where he parks or where he lives,
but he never forgets oral sex, no matter how bad it is."
Barbara Bush (Former US First Lady, and you didn't think Barbara had
a sense of humor)

"Ah, yes, divorce, from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's
genitals through his wallet."
Robin Williams

"Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place."
Billy Crystal

"According to a new survey, women say they feel more comfortable
undressing in front of men than they do undressing in front of
other women. They say that women are too judgmental, where, of course, men are just grateful."
Robert De Niro

"There's a new medical crisis. Doctors are reporting that many men
are having allergic reactions to latex condoms. They say they cause
severe swelling. So what's the problem?"
Dustin Hoffman

"There's very little advice in men's magazines, because men think,
'I know what I'm doing. Just show me somebody naked'."
Jerry Seinfeld

"See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only
enough blood to run one at a time."
Robin Williams

" It's been so long since I've had sex, I've forgotten who ties up
Joan Rivers

"Sex is one of the most wholesome, beautiful and natural experiences
money can buy."
Steve Martin

" You don't appreciate a lot of stuff in school until you get older.
Little things like being spanked every day by a middle-aged woman.
Stuff you pay good money for in later life."
Elmo Phillips

" Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same."
Oscar Wilde (This one is my favorite;))

" It isn't premarital sex if you have no intention of getting
George Burns

2. Posted by mtlgal (Full Member 1179 posts) 11y

Quoting CupCake

"Hockey is a sport for white men. Basketball is a sport for black men. Golf is a sport for white men dressed like black pimps."
Tiger Woods

This one's my favorite!

3. Posted by Wocca (Inactive 3745 posts) 11y

Those who talk the most, get the least

4. Posted by Cupcake (Travel Guru 8468 posts) 11y

Ohhh W, I'm sorry :(
Don't worry though, things will only get better!:)

5. Posted by Wocca (Inactive 3745 posts) 11y

Try this one

6. Posted by Abbytaxis (Full Member 137 posts) 11y

If somebody told you that you have a strong sex appeal, he only meant you look like a sex organ...