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Why Massages are good for you...

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11. Posted by MassageCH (Budding Member 5 posts) 11y

Mummies move slowly and are afraid of fire!

12. Posted by MassageCA (Budding Member 8 posts) 11y

They're not known for molesting domesticated sheep.

13. Posted by MassageCH (Budding Member 5 posts) 11y

One thing is for sure, a sheep is not a creature of the air!

14. Posted by MassageUS (Budding Member 4 posts) 11y

And they don't give good massages with those cloven hooves!

15. Posted by MassageCH (Budding Member 5 posts) 11y

This just in.

Bugs Bunny has died. According to CNN he died yesterday night after being shot by a man called Elmer Fudd.
After his arrest Elmer Fudd claimed that he was repeatedly told to kill Bugs Bunny by Satan, disguised as a white poodle called Bozo.
However, the expert found a high dose of Carotin in Bugs Bunny's blood, which indicates the use of illegal substances. A spokesman of Bugs Bunny industries denied the claims that their Chairman was a carrot addict.
Indenpent sources indicate that Bugs Bunny's death could have been a result of his alleged support of the Saddam Hussein regime and the trafficking of carrots out of Iraq, and Elmer Fudd was merely a puppet.
But on this stage it is to early to speculate, however Oliver Stone secured the film rights in case the affair gains public interest.

16. Posted by MASSAGEU2 (Budding Member 8 posts) 11y

This just in....a few minutes after that was just in:
Taking bets on WHO killed Bugs. Father Dougle is number one at 1000 to 1 odds. (Maybe the Pope did it?)

17. Posted by Pardus (Respected Member 2356 posts) 11y

The sun just reported Bugs Bunny's last words:

"It was me who framed Roger Rabbit, never liked the silly bugger one bit, trust me on that..."

The wake is starting today at 12 pm in the Playboy mansion, Bugs favourite hide out place.

18. Posted by MassageUS (Budding Member 4 posts) 11y

Live from the Playboy Mansion:
(Dolly, The Sheep reporting)

"As crowds of family, friends and fans gather outside the Playboy Mansion, a large black limosine has just arrived. I can't quite see who is inside but the crowd has quieted down to a whispering buzz. Wait! The car door has just opened and, and... Jessica Rabbit has just arrived! Does this mean there is some truth to the rumor that Bugs Bunny and Jessica Rabbit were lovers? Or, has she come to offer her respects to one of the greatest cartoon characters to ever live?"

Dolly: "Ms. Rabbit, is it true you were involved with Bugs Bunny?"

Jessica: "No, we were just close friends. I'm not bad, I'm just drawn that way."

"Well, there you have it folks! Reporting live from the Playboy Mansion, this is Dolly, The Sheep. We will have a live update following the wake."

19. Posted by Wocca (Inactive 3745 posts) 11y

We seem to have a bevy of MASSAGE TP'ers all joining on 9th May

20. Posted by MassageCA (Budding Member 8 posts) 11y

Suddenly (oh, here we go again!), a bashed-up, mud-caked pickup truck with Colorado plates comes tearing around the corner, shining a great, blaring white spotlight on our roving reporter.

"Baaaaaack off!" shouts Dolly.

"Hurry, Ned!" shouts a big man from the truck window. "It's coming right for us!"

"H-o-l-d o-n, J-i-m-b-o," replies the second. "L-e-t m-e r-e-l-o-a-d."

"Dang it, Ned! Hurry y'rself up!"

"O-K, O-K, h-o-l-d y-r h-o-r-s-e-s."

And with a click and an aim, Ned sets his sights on Dolly - who's promptly peed her Versace dress and piddled into her Kenneth Coles.

"You feckin' baaaaaaaa-"

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