I hope none of these crop up on my annual appraisal:
Since my last report, this employee has reached rock bottom and has
started to dig.
• His staff would follow him anywhere, but only out of curiosity.
• I would not allow this employee to breed.
• This employee is really not so much of a has-been, but more of a
• Works well when under constant supervision and cornered like a rat in
• When she opens her mouth, it seems that it is only to change feet.
• He would be out of his depth in a parking lot puddle.
• This young lady has delusions of adequacy.
• He sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve
• This employee is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot.
• This employee should go far, and the sooner he starts, the better.
• He’s got a full 6-pack, but lacks the plastic thing to hold it all
• A gross ignoramus - 144 times worse than an ordinary ignoramus.
• He certainly takes a long time to make his pointless.
• He doesn’t have ulcers, but he’s a carrier.
• I would like to go hunting with him sometime.
• He’s been working with glue too much.
• He would argue with a signpost.
• He brings a lot of joy whenever he leaves the room.
• When his IQ reaches 50, he should sell.
• If you see two people talking, and one looks bored, he’s the other
• A photographic memory but with the lens cover glued on.
• A prime candidate for Natural de-Selection.
• Donated his brain to science before he was done using it.
• Gates are down, lights are flashing, but the train isn’t coming.
• Has two brains: one is lost and the other is out looking for it.
• If he were any more stupid, he’d have to be watered twice a week.
• If you gave him a penny for his thoughts, you’d get change.
• If you stand close enough to him, you can hear the oceans.
• It’s hard to believe that he beat out 1,000,000 other sperm.
• One neuron short of a Synapse.
• Some drink from the fountain of knowledge, he only gargled.
• Takes him 1.5 hours to watch 60 Minutes.
• The wheel is still turning, but the hamster is dead.