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Will The Universe Reward You ?

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11. Posted by Pardus (Respected Member 2356 posts) 11y

A thought struck me when I thought about the universe.

If the universe is everywhere (as it tends to do) and the universe is in everything and everything is in the universe, would that not make us the universe in ourselves?

So, I decided to have the following dialogue with the universe.

"Hey Phil, I think you're doing a great with me here, I have to say."
"Oh thanks, Phil, that's very kind of you."
"You're welcome, Phil. You are a valued part of myself here, I can't stress this enough."
"Oh, thank you very kindly. Have a Gorilla, Phil"
"Sorry, Phil, I don't smoke."
"Oh, maybe that's better for you then, Phil."
"It probably is, reduces some health risk, Phil"
"Let's have a universal meeting now, shall we, Phil?"
"Sure, yes, Phil."

Okay, here goes my reward. I feel better now, knowing that I care about myself.

As for my own theory about what drives the universe - Humour, sex, and Hamsters in Metal wheels!

Or to you use the words of the Famous Eccles:

"Shut up, now"

12. Posted by Isadora (Travel Guru 13926 posts) 11y

It's nice to see you get along so nicely with yourself, Universe!

13. Posted by Pardus (Respected Member 2356 posts) 11y

Don't call me universe, I am the Ferocious Ferdinand and his Flying Ferrets (not down the trousers for once)

Here's my working theory on why the Universe is female (conceived while sitting on the toilet with nothing to look at):

It doesn't tell you what to do but it punishes you when you do the wrong thing. It punishes you for anything you do, anyway...
It keeps changing all the time and is never happy with its appearance.
It doesn't make sense - once the scientists figured out how things work they find something new that topples that theory.
It creates Red Giants who then turn into white dwarfs....
It keeps expanding....

I have to go now, there's and angry mob of women waving pitchforks and torches outside my office.

14. Posted by Isadora (Travel Guru 13926 posts) 11y

"Phil, this is the Universe. You are spending way too much time on the toilet and you didn't put the cover down."

15. Posted by Pardus (Respected Member 2356 posts) 11y

Hey, you're not the universe. If you were you would know that I have been conditioned to put the cover down all the time. My sister is a very dominant woman!

And there is no such things as spending too much time on the toilet. Where else can you have some quiet time to yourself to ponder questions taht concern the very existance of being? And study the fine assortment of high quality products provided by Argos?

Toilets are the last fortress of Man to be truly alone.

16. Posted by Reece Sanford (Travel Guru 1368 posts) 11y

Quoting Wocca

Quoting -reece-

thats all the question deserved and what sort of a question is that?

What?

My thoughts exactly wocca beast

17. Posted by andifras (Full Member 55 posts) 11y

Quoting Wocca

Quoting isadora

"...Just out of curiousity, how does one take risks on behalf of the universe? And, is it a sentient entity?..."

That's what I wondered when I first read the phrase. It was listed as a member's motto on another travel forum site

I think the main thing is that Wocca has said he visits other travel forums

18. Posted by Pardus (Respected Member 2356 posts) 11y

Quoting -reece-

Quoting Wocca

Quoting -reece-

thats all the question deserved and what sort of a question is that?

What?

Hey, here's my impression of Neddy Seagoon doing his catchphrase. Ready (waiting for silence - clears throat.... Waits another moment to get the suspense rise - takes a sip of water - another moment for suspense - clear throat again)

"Whatwhatwhatwhatwhatwhatwhatwhatwhatwhatwhatwhatwhatwhatwhat???"

(Note the increasing speed and pitch of the voice)

19. Posted by Reece Sanford (Travel Guru 1368 posts) 11y

Quoting Pardus

Quoting -reece-

Quoting Wocca

Quoting -reece-

thats all the question deserved and what sort of a question is that?

What?

Hey, here's my impression of Neddy Seagoon doing his catchphrase. Ready (waiting for silence - clears throat.... Waits another moment to get the suspense rise - takes a sip of water - another moment for suspense - clear throat again)

"Whatwhatwhatwhatwhatwhatwhatwhatwhatwhatwhatwhatwhatwhatwhat???"

(Note the increasing speed and pitch of the voice)

I heard the pitch of your voice from norfolk

20. Posted by Pardus (Respected Member 2356 posts) 11y

That's nothing, you should hear me doing the chimp screams.....

For some strange reason people tend to move away from me after that and pretend not to know me.... I then have to explain to them that I am the first of my family to come out of the forest walking upright.
All the rest of my family still lives on trees, apart from Uncle Harold, but he's travelling a lot with the circus.