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Calling all male human beings to answer

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1. Posted by arancia (Inactive 426 posts) 11y

a) Was just interested to know what it is that attracts you to a girl?

b) How does a girl/lady know if a guy likes them?

also

c) if a girl turns down/rejects a guy after having asked her out, is there any chance of them being friends? (yeah u might have guessed this is the situation im in...can we be friends?)

Would very much like to hear/read what you guys have to say. Girls are more than welcome to have their say too ;)

2. Posted by Rraven (Travel Guru 5924 posts) 11y

Hate to be annoying but I think it depends on the people involved and the situation...

what attracts one person may not attract the next, i asked the guys that i work with to give a few examples, the three guys are of similar age yet they like - a slim body, a curvy shape, an extrovert page 3, a shy girl next door, great eyes, a tall girl, a short girl, long hair, short hair, a joker, a reader, a relaxed mind, ambition , etc........... i don't think there is any one answer that suits everyone....

with some guys or girls you never know if they like you till they say it, some are obvious and some can be subtle or shy, if you're not sure just ask them...

and if your friendship is strong then yes you can friends after a rejection, it happened to me in the past and after the initial awkwardness and initial silliness we became closer then ever...

i hope you work it all out in the future...

3. Posted by Pardus (Respected Member 2356 posts) 11y

I think I am jumping straight to Point 3, because I have a good positive example for you.

My best friend in Switzerland is my Ex-Girlfriend, she's the one of the people I trust most (more than my own family).
It didn't work out as a couple and we split up - not in fight, it kind of died but we after a while we ended up being great pals. We both know each other very well, how to treat each other and when to let the other be.
Yes, I strongly believe that you can be friends after anything that happens. It's a matter of respect. If the person really matters to you then you'll be happy to be friends with that person, rather than losing that person completely.

4. Posted by arancia (Inactive 426 posts) 11y

Thanks Raven for ur reply. Also thank u lads for ur replies(!) apart from u Pardus ;)

Lol, i dont want to sound like a loser, but i was just interested to hear the diverse things/features, whatever you want to call it, guys go for.

As for the guy i turned down, i don't think we will be friends...

Whats the weather like over there in Ireland? Because we're in for a mini heatwave!

For those of you who live in the UK have a great bank holiday and enjoy the sun!!

5. Posted by tway (Travel Guru 7273 posts) 11y

a) Was just interested to know what it is that attracts you to a girl?

From what can gather, it's pretty physical as far as men are concerned. It's kind of the way their brains are wired, I think. They tend to be visual while we girls tend to look a little deeper a little faster.

b) How does a girl/lady know if a guy likes them?

Men do that eye thing - look, look again, smile, look again. Then again, that may not mean LIKE so much as look-what-I-saw-whoops-there's-something-else. I'm usually pretty clueless until they say something, though.

c) if a girl turns down/rejects a guy after having asked her out, is there any chance of them being friends?

That's definitely relative! I always thought my ex and I would stay friends, but he's cut himself off completely. Then you hear of couples who enjoy each other's company but the sparks are gone. I'm with Raven - it really depends on the people. And even then, they may surprise you in the end.

6. Posted by Reece Sanford (Travel Guru 1368 posts) 11y

im getting seriously worried now.
calling all male human beings to answer and what do i see above me

7. Posted by MelesMeles (Full Member 137 posts) 11y

a) Was just interested to knows what it is that attracts you to a girl?
Looks at first. As shallow as we are :), but there also has to be 'that unexplainable something' between people. But I guess that's not nothing new.

b) How does a girl/lady know if a guy likes them?

Guy comes to talk to you then, and is trying to look like he's not nervous at all And some of us, who are bit more shy, do need a bit of encouragement at making first move, or waiting for you to make it.

c has been covered already by Pardus and tway. It can go either way really.

8. Posted by MelesMeles (Full Member 137 posts) 11y

... But I guess that's not nothing new.... Shouldn't have used that 'not' there probably. O well, typos are and will be my friends.

9. Posted by Isadora (Travel Guru 13926 posts) 11y

Quoting arancia

a) Was just interested to know what it is that attracts you to a girl?

b) How does a girl/lady know if a guy likes them?

also

c) if a girl turns down/rejects a guy after having asked her out, is there any chance of them being friends? (yeah u might have guessed this is the situation im in...can we be friends?)

Would very much like to hear/read what you guys have to say. Girls are more than welcome to have their say too ;)

Mr. Isa here....

Well, hhmmmmm, good questions. I'm a fairly atypical male, so what I say may not mean anything (no, no self doubt, just atypical).

a) What attracted me BEFORE I was married, like many males of our species, was purely physical. Initially, we males are VERY superficial. An attractive body, face, etc. is all it would take. BAM, there go the hormones. But afterward, if it was not just a one-night stand, something more had to come into play, namely, a personality that interested us (OK, me). As the old saying goes, after the whoopie, you gotta talk. And it's always better if you can talk about something interesting to both parties. So, initially, it's most likely purely physical. Sorry, we're men. It's genetic. Something about survival of the species....

b) Always a toughie. Most people are WAY too shy or insecure with themselves to just come out and ask..."Hey, do you like me?" Or, "Hey, I really like you!" Usually, if you can strike up a good conversation, and about more than just one topic, you'll get to know that person before the "whoopie" begins. Or after, that's good too.

c) Sure, there is always a chance. But, unfortunately, most people carry too much baggage from previous relationships to be COMPLETELY honest with the other person. It's nice if you can, but never expect that all people will react the same way. Honesty and dialogue are the most important precursers to ANY relationship. Alas, many men tend to be too superficial, or think that "the perfect woman" is out there. Many men still think that women must look like a bikini model, or other such rubbish, in order to "complete" their own lives. Yeah, good luck with that guys, when you yourself don't look like Antonio Banderas. Superficiality will never make for a lasting relationship. Beauty fades, but a good discussion lasts forever. And most men can't be "Mr. Romance" all day and night, regardless of what they tell their buddies at the pub.

Find one you are (at least) reasonably attracted to, recognize yourself for who you are, then talk. And talk. And talk. Because you can't make "whoopie" all day anyway. You gotta talk to that person eventually.

Hope that helps. It's just my opinion, and I'm stickin' to it. Actually, it helps if you can cook well too. Men are suckers for good food.

Good luck with your search, Arancia! (PM if you want/need more philosophy on the male ego.)

Mrs. Isa here...

Wow - what he said... Guess that's why I married him! (And, he COOKS!)

My only comment is:
Dialogue is the most important thing in any relationship. It doesn't matter what happens (good or bad) without the ability to talk (not argue) about it all, there is very little holding the relationship together. You can be complete opposites or completely alike, but if you can not talk about anything and everything (NO secrets), then there is little to hold that relationship together.

Just the other day, Mr. Isa was saying... mmpphhh.... (Mr Isa holding hand over Mrs. Isa's mouth) Well, you get my point...

Oh, and the cooking thing - buy them a cook book and make them cook every now and again for you!!! (PM me for recipes that any man can make in 30 minutes or less... While they cook for you - sit back, have a glass of wine and talk to them. After dinner - then spring it on them they are in charge of washing dishes too - if they want that whoopie...)

10. Posted by Pardus (Respected Member 2356 posts) 11y

Quoting arancia

Thanks Raven for ur reply. Also thank u lads for ur replies(!) apart from u Pardus ;)

Lol, i dont want to sound like a loser, but i was just interested to hear the diverse things/features, whatever you want to call it, guys go for.

As for the guy i turned down, i don't think we will be friends...

Whats the weather like over there in Ireland? Because we're in for a mini heatwave!

For those of you who live in the UK have a great bank holiday and enjoy the sun!!

Hey Arancia,

My main features of attraction would be:

- sense of humour, she would have to put up with me and hurl back the abuse I give out to me. I don't like people who are serious or touchy (although I like a good serious discussion in between the madness).
- Intelligence and variety of interests- I couldn't be with anybody whose only topics of conversation are about Clothes and celebrity gossip.
- Eyes - Eyes that shine out brightly from the face and when you look into them you get the feeling you could drown in them. That's the first thing I would go for.
- Smile - I melt for a nice smile....

These are the main feature I would look for, I don't care much about physical features, I put much more weight on personality, therefore I can't really say what's my type.
As for showing that I like somebody, mmmhhh..., that's a difficult one. I tend to hold back on things like that, because I hate looking like a Wally and be knocked back and I am very shy as well....
I agree with MelesMeles, some guys need some encouragement.