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Joke of the day.

Travel Forums Off Topic Joke of the day.

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521. Posted by Utrecht (Moderator 5596 posts) 7y

Finally, the day has come that a blond girl decides to join the world wide web.

Like many others, she wants lots of online friends.

But she can't decide: FaceBook or MySpace.

Unbelievable, now she has over 80,000, mainly male, friends.

But then again, she always shouts in pubs, bars and nightsclubs: hey, do you want to join and come on MyFace.

522. Posted by Cool Paul (Travel Guru 611 posts) 7y

Why didn't Ken ever get Barbie Pregnant?

he came in different box.

523. Posted by zaksame (Respected Member 571 posts) 7y

A Jewish grandmother was supposed to be minding her grandson on the beach. She had her mind on other things when the kid was washed out to sea by a giant wave. Frantic, she called the lifeguard, the police, a helicopter and everyone else on the beach to find her grandson.
After an hour of desperate searching the coastguard found her grandson and dragged him to the beach. The paramedics worked on him for an hour and finally he gasped back to life.
"Hey," said the grandmother, "he had a hat..."

524. Posted by Cool Paul (Travel Guru 611 posts) 7y

Quoting zaksame

A Jewish grandmother was supposed to be minding her grandson on the beach. She had her mind on other things when the kid was washed out to sea by a giant wave. Frantic, she called the lifeguard, the police, a helicopter and everyone else on the beach to find her grandson.
After an hour of desperate searching the coastguard found her grandson and dragged him to the beach. The paramedics worked on him for an hour and finally he gasped back to life.
"Hey," said the grandmother, "he had a hat..."

haha I had to read that and had to think about it. then I saw you are from ireland.

[ Edit: Edited on 27-Feb-2009, at 07:00 by Cool Paul ]

525. Posted by Cool Paul (Travel Guru 611 posts) 7y

while on the topic of the beach:

What did the lady say to Micheal Jackson while on the beach?

Get out of my sun!

526. Posted by vegasmike6 (Travel Guru 3562 posts) 7y

Canadian Joke;

An RCMP officer stops at a ranch in Alberta, and talks with an old rancher.
He tells the rancher, 'I need to inspect your ranch for illegal grown drugs.'
The old rancher says, 'Okay, but don't go in that field over there.'

The RCMP officer verbally explodes saying, 'Mister, I have the authority of the Federal Government with me.' Reaching into his rear pant pocket and removing his badge. The officer proudly displays it to the farmer. 'See this badge? This badge means I am allowed to go wherever I wish..on any land. No questions asked or answers given. Have I made myself clear? Do You understand?' The old rancher nods politely and goes about his chores.

Later, the old rancher hears loud screams and spies the RCMP officer running for his life and close behind is the rancher's bull. With every step the bull is gaining ground on the officer. The officer is clearly terrified.
The old rancher immediately throws down his tools, runs to the fence and yells at the top of his lungs.....
"SHOW HIM YOUR BADGE!!

527. Posted by vegasmike6 (Travel Guru 3562 posts) 7y

Irish Joke,
Mick met Paddy in the street and said, 'Paddy, will you draw your bedroom curtains before making love to your wife in future?''Bejaysus Why?' Paddy asked. 'Because,' said Mick, 'the whole street was laughing when they saw you making love yesterday.' Paddy said, 'Stupid bastards, the laugh's on them ... I wasn't home yesterday.'

528. Posted by vegasmike6 (Travel Guru 3562 posts) 7y

irish Joke

Father O'Malley rose from his bed. It was a fine spring day
in his new Texas mission parish. He walked to the window
of his bedroom to get a deep breath of the beautiful day.

He then noticed there was a jackass lying dead in the middle of his front lawn.
So he promptly called the local police station.

The conversation went like this:

"Good morning. This is Sergeant Jones. How might I help you?"

"And the best of the day tee yerself. This is Father O'Malley at St.Brigid's.
There's a jackass lying dead in me front lawn. Would ye be so kind
as to send a couple o' yer lads to take care of the matter.

Sergeant Jones, considering himself to be quite a wit, replied with a smirk,
"Well now father, it was always my impression that you people took care of last rites!"

There was dead silence on the line for a long moment.

Father O'Malley then replied:
"Aye, tis certainly true, but we are also obliged to notify the next of kin."

529. Posted by Utrecht (Moderator 5596 posts) 7y

Son asks his dad:
"Dad, what is a clitoris"
His father:
O, you should have asked me yesterday evening, it was on the tip of my tongue"

530. Posted by vegasmike6 (Travel Guru 3562 posts) 7y

An old lady was standing at the rail of the cruise ship holding her hat so that the wind wouldn't blow it away. A gentleman approached her & said, 'Pardon me, madam, I do not intend to be forward but did you know that your dress is blowing up in this wind?' 'Yes, I know,' said the lady. 'But I need my hands to hold onto my hat.''But madam, he said, 'you must know that you're derriere is exposed!' The woman looked down, then back up at the man and said, 'Sir, anything you see down there is 85 years old, but I just bought this hat!'

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