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It's about time!

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1. Posted by tway (Travel Guru 7273 posts) 11y

Dang it! It's happened TWICE today. I set up an interview, a meeting, a time and place to meet someone - and inevitably the person is late, nowhere to be found, or forgot completely that we had a scheduled meeting.

Then there are those people who say "I'll meet you at the restaurant at 5" and you sit and read the menu four times over and chat with the waitress and drink yourself full with water - and here comes your friend, an hour late, with a "whoops" and a smile - as if you had nothing better to do than wait around for them.

So beyond all this momentary frustration, here's my question: Do people today disrespect other people's time? Is this the new "fashionably late"? Are those of us who ARE on time relegated to bending schedules and trying to see this as "free time to get more reading done"?

I could scream! But for now I'll just

2. Posted by Cupcake (Travel Guru 8468 posts) 11y

I feel for you Tina...I am usually early since I know how much I hate to wait...:(
It isn't fashionable! It is just bad manners!!
I am with you on this one

3. Posted by Isadora (Travel Guru 13926 posts) 11y

I definitely agree with tardiness being bad manners. Especially when almost everyone (except me) has a cell phone attached to their ear. Being late can have acceptable reasons behind it, but a simple - and quick - phone call to explain or make other arrangements falls under the heading of "Proper Etiquette". Granted, if you are waiting in a restaurant with no phone, it's a bit harder to reach you. But, since the dining companion does know where to meet you - calling the restaurant to have a message passed along is only good manners at the least. So, yes - it's just rude behavior - period.

I believe that this perpetual tardiness by many also stems from their own self-importance. Okay, we all consider ourselves important in one way or another. But, when I make an appointment to be somehere, I show up and on time. So many of us fill our waking hours with way too many things, and though we know we have a scheduled meeting, we still try to fit a couple more things in on our way. Oh, the drycleaner is on the way... Oh, Saks is having a sale (quick stop to look)... etc.... We also take for granted that our friends won't mind us being a "little" late because we're friends. I mean, I wouldn't care so neither should you. (That's hypothetical - I do care. Be on time.) What we have to do in our day is more important than whatever someone else has planned - even if we are part of that plan. Again, it's rude and bad manners.

Everyone is late at one time or another. But, habitual tardiness drives me crazy and if it continues over a period of time, I stop making plans with those people. I also tell them why.

4. Posted by areinstein (Travel Guru 2788 posts) 11y

I hate being late, I dont mind people being fashionably late (10-15 minutes) but even then I would have expected a quick phone call since I usually afford the same courtesy if I am running behind.

I think it is just rude and inconsiderate when someone is terribly late and there isnt even a good excuse for it.

I am, personally, always on a time schedule and I dont think I would ever have one hour to waste waiting at a restaurant (unless is a Sunday) but as much as sometimes you would love to do it to them (so they know what it feels like), you can't bring yourself to do it.

Could this be classified as a stereotype? That is a definite Latin stereotype and it is so hard for me to deal with when I go to Peru. This is the typical scenario:

Friend: Ok, I will pick you up at 3 pm.
Me: Ok, I will be ready.
Friends: Ring! Ring! Friend calls at 5 pm: I am on my way.
Me: Ok, I will be ready.

I could scream too Tina!!!

5. Posted by tway (Travel Guru 7273 posts) 11y

Quoting Isadora

I believe that this perpetual tardiness by many also stems from their own self-importance.

We also take for granted that our friends won't mind us being a "little" late because we're friends.

Couldn't have said that better myself! I have one friend (a very good, very kind, very wonderful friend) who can be up to 2 HOURS late. Jezuz H - what the hell can distract you for 2 bloody hours? So we sit there and the food goes cold and we (US! WE!) worry about whether or not it's rude to start eating without her.

It is self-importance, though, isn't it? Yes, we must put our self-interest first and do what's best for numero uno and all that. But if you give your WORD that you'll be at a certain place at a certain time, then for the love of Pete don't go back on it! That's the same thing as lying - to yourself and the other person. And how is lying being true to your own self?

6. Posted by Isadora (Travel Guru 13926 posts) 11y

Quoting tway

So we sit there and the food goes cold and we (US! WE!) worry about whether or not it's rude to start eating without her.

EAT!!! Maybe if everyone eats and is finished before the one who is late arrives - a lesson will be learned. Fine if you want to sit and wait for her while she orders and eats. Conversation rarely stops for one person to finish their food anyway. But, don't wait to eat - you ordered and it's in front of you. You were on time.

Quoting tway

It is self-importance, though, isn't it? That's the same thing as lying - to yourself and the other person. And how is lying being true to your own self?

Because no one is going to think of it in those terms. And, if they do - it will be classified under the heading "Little White Lie" - which we all know don't count. (Yes, I'm kidding - they count.)

[ Edit: fixed quote ]

7. Posted by mtlgal (Full Member 1179 posts) 11y

I'm punctual almost to the point of obsessive-compuliveness; I can't even be fashionably late for parties! Unfortunately, most of my friends are the habitually late type. I've gotten used to waiting around for people, but I still don't like it. For the past few year though, with everyone having cell phones, tardiness is at least a lot more bearable than it used to be. My friends and I would call one another if we'e going to be late and at least the other person doesn't have to wait around like an idiot (the idiot most likely being me).

8. Posted by summer910 (Respected Member 1342 posts) 11y

I do sometimes come late, say 10-15 mins, but I always try to make sure I let friends know that I'll be late (sometimes they'll also tell me they're going to be late!). I guess with technology so advanced these days, there's really no excuse for not informing others that you're running late for x mins.

I had a friend who kept me waiting for over an hour once, and without telling me that she was going to be late. I blasted her the moment she appeared.

9. Posted by mtlchica (Respected Member 922 posts) 11y

I can sympathize! I hate waiting, and I agree that picking up a phone when late would be the proper thing to do. Sadly, not too many of my friends do that. Sometimes either myself or my friends are in a situation where we know we may be late, or not able to make something at all, so we stress that beforehand.

Example:

Me: I might get called in to work tonight/be working late, you guys start without me if I'm not there by 8:15, but I'll try and call you at some point to let you know what's up.
Friend: Ok, no prob!

I get that sometimes people are stuck in a situation where they can't phone, but if it's just a matter of them watching TV or trying to run a few personal errands and they have a cell phone, there's no excuse.

I empathize with the friends-taking-advantage-of-seeing-friends thing! I have friends that are never late for work-related stuff, but if we're meeting for coffee or drinks, they're always half an hour late. Grumble, grumble.

Oh, and just as a heads up for a few months from now, I may be late for the Montreal meet-up because I might have to work!

10. Posted by Rraven (Travel Guru 5924 posts) 11y

I hate when people are late and i hate to wait but to be honest I'm guilty of this myself, especially when it comes to working late (its such a pain, isn't it ) but i always let people know, my phone is normally stuck to my ear . When work or more recently my family don't get in the way then i'm normally early (which can be really bad, i've been known to be so early that i gave out when my friend arrived 10 mins late without prewarning me because i'd been there ages, it was a total over reaction ).