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1. Posted by samsara_ (Travel Guru 5353 posts) 11y

Quite often, you hear people saying that they are travelling solo because they couldnt find anyone who was willing to drop everything and go with them.

But, what do you do when you are planning to travel solo and someone else decides they want a piece of your action.

I had a phonecall from a friend during the week whom I havent met in quite a while. We had a mutual whinge about our respective jobs and I filled her in on my travel plans. I have become so used to ppl having slightly or very negative reactions that I wasn't expecting it when she said, "Hey, maybe I'll go with you!" The more she thought about it, the more enthusiastic she became about the prospect, and I found the words "This is something I want to do alone" sticking in my throat.

I'll be meeting her in a few weeks time for a proper catch-up, so I'll have to have my "speech" ready by then.....I'm hoping she wasn't really serious and that she'll have forgetten all about it.

Has anyone else had a similar problem in the past? How did you handle it?

Thanks,

E;)

2. Posted by wtanaka (Budding Member 44 posts) 11y

Travelling with someone else can be one of the most stressful and trying experiences you can have with another person. If she still wants to come, just explain all the negative aspects of it, and outline all of your groundrules. If she agrees to come on your terms, why wouldn't you want the company? More likely she'll get the idea that it might not be a good idea..

3. Posted by Cupcake (Travel Guru 8468 posts) 11y

Stick to your guns Ev! Don't let anyone or anything ruin your trip...and I do mean YOUR TRIP! You have done all this work, all this planning, saving, daydreaming, research and 'poof' she is just going to invite herself? I think that is rude! Give me her number...I am going to give her a call ;)

4. Posted by daveh (Travel Guru 1027 posts) 11y

From experience - never believe anyone who says they are coming with you until you see the colour of their money. The amount of people that have said "i'll come to .... with you", as soon as you mention buying the ticket and the fact that they have to part with their cash then you never hear from them again. In this case, tell her you're off on your own, maybe suggest meeting somewhere along the way for a few weeks and maybe the subject will be dropped for good.

5. Posted by james (Travel Guru 4136 posts) 11y

Some suggestions Evelyn:

1. tell her that this trip is really important to you as you are planning to come out of the closet for the first time during the trip. Throw in something like not having much money and possibly having to share a bed to save some cash.

2. tell her "that's a great idea" and that you will "see you at the airport". Just don't tell her which airport.

I'm sure I'll think of some more

6. Posted by samsara_ (Travel Guru 5353 posts) 11y

Lol! The last time I told someone I was a lesbian I nearly got punched he was so mad. So, I'm a bit wary of that one......might keep it as plan B though

7. Posted by Wocca (Inactive 3745 posts) 11y

Give her a short deadline for paying for her ticket etc

8. Posted by james (Travel Guru 4136 posts) 11y

Quoting james

Some suggestions Evelyn:

1. tell her that this trip is really important to you as you are planning to come out of the closet for the first time during the trip. Throw in something like not having much money and possibly having to share a bed to save some cash.

2. tell her "that's a great idea" and that you will "see you at the airport". Just don't tell her which airport.

I'm sure I'll think of some more

Hang on a minute, tell me you're a lesbian coming out in this trip and needing to share a bed, and I'll see you at the friggin' airport

9. Posted by summer910 (Respected Member 1342 posts) 11y

Aww, Eve.

How about making her pay for your trip? That'd scare her off

When you see her, let her bring up the trip first. Don't talk about it until she does. If she doesn't, then both of you conveniently forget about it and go your merry ways.

But if she's insistent, as the others have mentioned, ensure that she sticks by your rules. And just stress that you're someone who needs a lot of "alone time" to do your own stuff, so she should have a separate itinerary ready as well.

Travelling together doesn't mean she's got to stick to you like glue!

10. Posted by areinstein (Travel Guru 2788 posts) 11y

Uuuugghh Eeeve!!! What did I tell you about traveling companions???
Dont get me wrong, I loved having Tommy with me and we had a good time but again, things are much MUCH easier when you are alone! No, tell her she has to talk to me before she can join you...I'll set her straight.

I think you have to do this on your own and she isnt even a close friend which can actually make the situation worse. She may run at your pace, she may or may not want to see the things you want to see, you may want to stop for something and cant cause she is in a rush because she has to eat RIGHT NOW!, she is slowing you down because she got sick, she has an attitude with you because you got sick, etc etc etc and etc. Get the picture?

Yes, you can set the rules, but two woman traveling together (unless you are the best of friends and even then...) is not a pretty picture. If anything I would tell you to travel with a guy instead given no other choice. I dont even think she will have enough time to plan this trip or save for it since it is coming up in 6 months.

Here are some excuses:

1. Some of the places I am going, I am actually lodging solo because I am staying with friends and I cant impose another person onto them.
2. Politely, tell her...the thing is that I have met a lot of people that have traveled with company and 100% of them tell me is better to do it alone. I dont want to hurt anyone's feelings but I need to do this on my own.
3. Maybe you can join me in the 2nd or 3rd leg of my trip...I'call you! (yeah right!).
4. My friend Anne is setting up the lodging for me in South America but she can only take one person. Then, she is also awaiting for me in the US and she lives in a tiny studio.
5. I dont know how long I am staying in any given place.
6. But really, reason No. 1 is that this is YOUR trip, to find yourself and you want to experience doing this alone.

I hope it works, I am sure you can put it nicely to her and she will understand. Maybe it wont be as bad to meet her in one small portion of your trip but not the whole thing. I can guarantee you that it wont work.

Good luck and tell us how it went!