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11. Posted by samsara_ (Travel Guru 5353 posts) 11y

Lol!! Thanks everyone. Definitely some interesting ideas to work with there.

Anne, I'm gonna go with excuse number 4 I think! And I'm going to add in that you're a little psychotic and dont like uninvited guests.

Well, I'll let you all know how it goes anyway. I'll be meeting up with her soon.....

12. Posted by areinstein (Travel Guru 2788 posts) 11y

Quoting samsara2

Anne, I'm gonna go with excuse number 4 I think! And I'm going to add in that you're a little psychotic and dont like uninvited guests.


13. Posted by FionaNZ (Respected Member 903 posts) 11y

If all else fails Ev, email her a link to this thread

14. Posted by GregW (Travel Guru 2635 posts) 11y

I have had a similar experience as others - the people who say, "oh, that's sounds good, let me come too!" tend to not end up following through.


15. Posted by Sander (Moderator 4893 posts) 11y

I wouldn't make any excuses, or tell any lies (not even little white ones). Just talk about how doing it by yourself is a really important part of the experience. If she really wants to do it, help her, give her advice, inspire her. Give her the foundation she'll need to go out by herself as well. Chances are that, since she's starting to think about it at a later point, even if she goes through with it, she won't be able to take off until several months later than you do. Offer to meet her wherever you'll be when she arrives, to give her more tips on how to 'survive', maybe to travel together for a week or two - and then to go your separate ways again. (If at this point you discover that you do quite enjoy her company, you can always adjust plans to travel together for a longer time after all.)

I agree with most others that it's unlikely she'll go through with it. People are really good at talking themselves out of doing such crazy things, at only seeing the fences, and not how easy it is to jump them. ;) But if she does seem to really be ready to do this, that's something awesome, and if you can, something you should encourage. Just, be upfront about needing to do it separately, and then make her see that she can still do it by herself.

16. Posted by samsara_ (Travel Guru 5353 posts) 11y

Well, its been a while..but I finally met up with my friend last weekend. I drove to meet her armed with all your helpful tips and nuggets of wisdom but, as it turned out, she has changed her mind anyway.


The last thing I wanted to do was tell her I wanted to do it alone. She's a lovely person, but all she would hear in "I want to do this alone" is "I dont want you to come", and I was afraid of hurting her feelings.

As it turns out, she can't afford it to begin with, but she's just gotten a promotion at work and she's happy to stick with that for the time being. SHe did say that she might fly out and join me if the job is still crap in 6 months time, but thats a long way off...might never happen.

Anyway, thats what happened, in case anyone was wondering.

17. Posted by Isadora (Travel Guru 13926 posts) 11y

Thanks for the update, Ev! It's now one less thing for you to worry about and you can spend your time planning your trip the way you want it to go. Maybe your friend was having the same trepidations about telling you that she couldn't afford the trip... I'm glad it all worked out in your favor. ;)

18. Posted by snatterand (Travel Guru 454 posts) 11y

Good for you... My friend said the same thing before my travels in South-East Asia, I didn't have the guts to tell her that I wanted to do it alone, she actually did come along - and now (2 years after the trip) we've totally lost touch. It didn't work out well at all, especially since I kept thinking "I didn't want you to come in the first place..." A pity really.

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