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Would It Work With A Long Term Girl????????

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1. Posted by Ricardo (Budding Member 79 posts) 11y

I have been desperate to travel for years and now I have completed my qualifications there is nothing left here to stop me going.The only thing is I have been with a girl for 4 years and I am not sure she would be cut out for travelling.We get on great (Most of the time) and share similar interests but I think that the stress of a trip like the one Im planning might test our relationship to the limit.Has anyone got any advice or had any experiences with travelling with partners??????????

2. Posted by chapter11 (Budding Member 21 posts) 11y

I find that it's useful to have a good, long discussion about expectations and behavior while traveling before you set out. For example, if you wanted to go to X museum exhibit, and she wanted to go to Y art show, would you a) compromise and do neither, b) go your separate ways and meet up after, or c) pick one, and let the other person pick the next time?

Traveling together with someone you care about can be a bonding, life-changing experience. It can also be a relationship killer. Make sure you're compatible travel partners before you go; the best way to do this is to talk about how you each like to travel. If there are big differences, talk about how you'll handle those before you go. And then, of course, be willing to make some compromises once you're there.

Good luck!

Josh Roberts
-snip-

[ Edit: sorry, no promos in the forum please. ]

3. Posted by chapter11 (Budding Member 21 posts) 11y

By the way, here's a great article about choosing the right travel companion, courtesy of CNN.com:

http://www.cnn.com/2005/TRAVEL/ADVISOR/04/08/companion.conflict/index.html

4. Posted by chrisavfc (Full Member 104 posts) 11y

hey ricardo,

im in EXACTLY the same situation as you, but ive been with her for 2yrs, and she isn't the type to go travelling. my plan is to get my ticket first then just be honest and tell her.
she already knows i would like to go, but i don't think she thinks i would. This is one thing i can't miss out on and NOTHING is going to stop me!
I dnt expect her to wait for me, but theres always girls and relationships to go back to at home, but experiences like these don't come around to often.

hope you work something out

5. Posted by tway (Travel Guru 7273 posts) 11y

What makes a good friend/girlfriend/boyfriend/sister/brother/etc. at home can make for a pretty lousy travel partner once you hit the road - ESPECIALLY if they're not that into travelling. Have you considered telling her how much travelling means to you and going on your own? You don't have to end the relationship, but rather sit down agree to some "terms" and flexibility that will enable you to fulfill a dream while making her feel good about helping you do that. Plus you can discuss what her big dream is and how you can both work to fulfill that, too.

Try talking to her and telling her the truth about how you feel. You may be surprised!

6. Posted by Sam I Am (Admin 5588 posts) 11y

In my opinion, if someone would be the kind of partner that you can't really get along with while travelling, you might also want to ask yourself if there is even any merit to continuing the relationship. If you're really serious about it and she/he is serious about you, then there should be room for discussion here at the very least! ... the wise words of a just married man LOL

7. Posted by IronChef (Full Member 1076 posts) 11y

Ricardo,
Can't say if it really killed our relationship but I know that I went along with my EX on a trip out west 2 years ago. Getting to explore and travel was awesome and something we both wanted to do. I think along the way I realized that we hadn't really discussed enough before hand. I let her do a lot of the planning and once I realized what she wanted to do ... well, I had other plans. We tried following Route 66 in Missouri and through some states. It got to be very frustrating and something I didn't really want to do but she did so .... I wound up pretty upset.

Once we got back I found that I needed some space and well, the rest is ancient history.:) I had a great time all in all but I definitely think you should discuss as much as possible and find out whether either of you would be willing to let ideas or plans go if they don't work out. Karma happens and so does chaos. Gotta make sure you both are ready to roll with it.

Good Luck and Godspeed.

8. Posted by Kingwindle (Respected Member 301 posts) 11y

Not being horrible but as far as it was with me, NO. Sorry, even everyone around me for 3 years at uni split, including me, but i really hope you prove me wrong.
What a depressing mail, sorry everyone!

Tarik!

9. Posted by Ricardo (Budding Member 79 posts) 11y

Cheers for all the advice guys.I think the only thing to do is sit down and discuss everything we both want to do and all the what ifs etc.If we cant even do that were not going to do much else.
Thanks again for all the sound advice

10. Posted by jacknscoob (Budding Member 19 posts) 11y

Hi

Me and my partner have just completed a 3 month world trip - had the best time ever. I think that the mere fact that you are questioning whether to go together might mean that the relationship may strain somewhat when you are away for 24/7.

J xx