I hope you sort your head out soon. I think you must be in an awful place emotionally. I too envy the lifestyle you have. I'd do it, but I don't know what trade I'd ply along the way.
What I do know is, is that is important to be happy, and the soul can suffer if you don't follow your dreams.
I dream of moving to Berlin, and hope one day that that will come true...
Take a few days where you keep yourself busy, and don't dwell on the issue that is bothering you. Keep busy and distract yourself...then come back to the issue in a few days and try and get a fresh perspective. Also make sure you eat and sleep well. Sound body helps to get a sound mind.
Good luck. I am sure all will work out well for you.
I've thouhgt about doing what you did, just pack and leave, and someone gave me something to think about and maybe it will help you to... See when you go away, you're not only taking your stuff and take off, you also take all that is troubeling you along, and no matter where you go or how long you stay away, that extra luggage will stay with you no matter what. In the end you loose more then you'd thought you did... think about it...
Hi there, hope you are fine at the moment.
I am here with Jon's as he posted once to my thread. I am now dreaming of long awaited 'leaving all things behind' and what you are doing now is something I WOULD BE doing later. But the difference bwteen us is I will travel with my own purposes. I am intending to teach in some schools or villages (as long as they provide accomodation and food although no money would be okay for me); joining some voluntaring if possible and the most important part is, I'll have every piece of bittersweet written on my book. No camera with me, no laptop even...only words and memories would describe every moment and to experience different life will be very complacent as for me.
Redefine your philosophy of travelling.
P/S: I never agree on the thought that travelling is more like wandering. For me, it's one of the lifelong lesson - to teach your brain, heart and soul about the life circle - be born, growing up and become older and die at last (and if you plus afterlife...). Sometimes, I would think myself not belong to my country but the world...haha
I think Steps and Pride also make interesting and valid points. Steps reminds me of how I decided to go to Asia. After 2 years wandering Europe and Israel, I thought that was enough. Gotta night job in London. Thought I'd wait till I was 21, get a bus licence and drive International. Still 7 months till that birthday my feet were unbearably itchy and I knew I had to go again. BUT, couldn't decide where. Just knew I wanted to get somewhere so far away I couldn't get back... a kind of test. So I put a map of Asia on the wall, saved every week, got info from Embassies re visas and travel agents about airfares. Collated them all in a book. But I just couldn't decide. So I threw the book in a draw and forgot about it.
It only took 2 or 3 weeks. I woke up one afternoon, looked at the map on the wall, and just knew I was going to Thailand. Got up (it was Thurs). SHowered, went to the travel agent and booked for a week Sunday, 1 way to Bangkok. For many other reasons which I won't bore u with, the timing was as near perfect as it could have been. Opened up all kinds of interesting doors.
Steps is right.
Damn. I promised myself this wd be a 4 line post!
Sorry for waffling
Take care and be happy
I also have to agree with Becci. All the wandering in the world will not fix what may be broken if you are not on the road to discovery or whole inside - either one. No matter where I chose to go, when I was younger and less accepting of myself, it was never "right". It may have been fun for that moment, but not ever good enough or useful enough. It took me quite awhile to realize I needed to fix my home life and me before I would be satisfied with anything else. If you continue to travel - which I'm sure that you will - use it as a way to define yourself, not as an escape. Sometimes searching inwardly is harder than outwardly, but the benefits will prove to be more rewarding in the end. And, your travels more fulfilling. (More often than not, people on this site will tell you that traveling should be a learning experience - they're right.)
i think you arent doing anything wrong! i do believe you should change something, seeing as how your feelings in this post seem to show some sort of inner turmoil. i think you should just reasses what it all means to you, and just learn from it all instead of seeing your actions as 'wrong' or 'futureless.' on the contrary, i think i will probably do what you are, wander. i think you can learn so much from wandering. i think you have learned alot, you just are being over-critical of yourself. (happens to me, too )
many people including me envy what youve done and are trying to do the same. just becuase you dont have a plan or 'financial security' doesnt mean you dont have a future. not at all. i believe you are a great person with a beautiful life so far that just needs to figure some stuff out.