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Around the World in Ninety-Seven and a Half Days: A TP Novel

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21. Posted by Brendan (Respected Member 1824 posts) 10y

hahaha I am sorry but that is too damn funny... I think the book is finished. Cut! Print! That's a wrap!

22. Posted by Isadora (Travel Guru 13926 posts) 10y

What happened to the Ninety-Seven and a Half Days????? It hasn't been that long... And what about Sgt. Zhang and the LP pages... There are still soooooooooo many unanswered questions!!!!!! YOU CAN'T END IT WITH A DINOSAUR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (But, I digress...)

23. Posted by Brendan (Respected Member 1824 posts) 10y

haha, fine fine!!

Around the World in Ninety-Seven and a Half Days: A TP Novel - BOOK II
----------------------------------------------------------------------

... (*writers block*) ...

24. Posted by Isadora (Travel Guru 13926 posts) 10y

Quoting Brendan

haha, fine fine!!

Around the World in Ninety-Seven and a Half Days: A TP Novel - BOOK II
----------------------------------------------------------------------

... (*writers block*) ...

Day turned into night once again... The ceaseless storm had begun to rattle the nerves of the mostly pre-occupied Sgt. Zhang as he stood in front of the precinct's vending machine, waiting for one more cup of lousy coffee to fill. "Damn, I hate this coffee!", he said to himself. But, he also knew the Starbucks next door would not be open for another few hours. The officer grabbed the cup of steaming joe from the machine and as he took his first sip, a crack of thunder caught him by surprise. Coffee stains on his shirt were a common occurrance, but now there was one more to add to the design. Sgt. Zhang was frustrated...

25. Posted by beerman (Respected Member 1631 posts) 10y

Quoting Isadora

The officer grabbed the cup of steaming joe from the machine and as he took his first sip, a crack of thunder caught him by surprise. Coffee stains on his shirt were a common occurrance, but now there was one more to add to the design. Sgt. Zhang was frustrated...

The Seargent slumped into his chair. "There has to be an answer to all of this" came a voice from out of nowhere. Zhang wheeled in his chair, seeing no one. Damn, that voice came from nowhere....my own head...". He slumped back into his old wooden desk chair and listened to the gentle patter of rain on his desk. Suddenly, there came a knock at his office door....bbbriiiing, briiiiing.........and the phone rang. Torn between two alternatives, Zhang opted for the other one. He picked up the old phone, ancient and heavy, and threw it at the door, shattering the glass all over the knocker (um, the person who knocked...).

"Excuse bitte, Herr Sgt. Zhang? I haf ein item zat might be ov interest to you und your investigation into ze keelings ov ze Lonely Planets....", and the stranger begins to slowly unroll a well worn paper bag.....

26. Posted by Brendan (Respected Member 1824 posts) 10y

"Pardon me?" Zhag questioned the Knocker. "I really have no idea what you just said".

"Pleez yuu muzzn't zpeak.. firz I vil zhow yuu zumtsing ov verry importnt." The quickly crossed the room to Zhang's desk and placed the large stone on his desk.

Zhang looked down at the rock and then up at the Knocker. "I am speechless... I really am. I have no speech. Why did you just put zis rock on my desk!" Zhang stood up pounding his fists into the desk. "I have murders all across the city! There are clues which make no sense, from lunch meats to travel book pages... and now zee germans are bringing me rocks!" Sergeant Zhang looked passed the Knocker and noticed everyone in the detachment looking at him.

27. Posted by tway (Travel Guru 7273 posts) 10y

Suddenly...

St. Zhang hears his name being called. He turns around slowly, all thoughts of lunch meats lost in anticipation of what he knows is coming.

"Yes?"

"St. Zhang?"

"Yes?!"

"Can you sing it again?"

"No."

"Aw, come on."

"This is silly. No."

"Just once. Pretty please?"

"You're a grown man! You can solve a case without it."

"I can't!"

"That's ludicrous."

"That's what you said last time - but it worked."

"Oh for-"

"Just one refrain. Five words! A hum!"

"Then you'll really have to leave me alone-"

"Yes! Yes! I promise! Cross my heart!"

"Well, very well...
It's wonderful to be here,
It's certainly a thrill.
You're such a lovely audience,
We'd like to take you home with us,
We'd love to take you home
..."

"Oh! I do believe I've cracked the case!"

"Well, very well, then. Carry on."

And with that Sgt. Zhang turns his attention back to the knocker.

"Who waz zat?"

"Bloody hell! It's impossible to get any work done around Sgt. Pepper!"

28. Posted by beerman (Respected Member 1631 posts) 10y

Quoting SeeTheSky

I am never drinking coffee again. ever. he thinks to himself, then looks around, looks down at the passed out samsa, and just walks back to his Gato Chateau.

Beerman pops a beer from the refrigerator, still somewhat bewildered by the sudden appearance of large extinct lizard. "Damn realtor is told me..location, location, location, but I am not thinking he is meaning location is backwards in time....."

As Beerman eases into a green silk lounge chair on the veranda, he spies the Samsa woman approachng. "Oi, Greeny, careful now!! Where in the hell am I? Why do you 'ave dinos in yer backyerd? Scared the rot outta me!!"

"Samsa person, you have travelled onto my island here in the South Atlantic of Oceans. Please to give me your passaport so I may stamp it and make official overture of welcome. Welcome. No hotels on island, only Chateau Gateau. You are wanting beer?"

"You have to help me get to Amerika. Or Canadia. I'm on a quest to fill my passport with more stamps than anyone else in the world. And I think there was something fishy about the boat I was on....there were too many shady characters.....

"Fishy? Boat? You make funnies with me, yes? Give passaport please, I stamp many times for you, saving you from endless travels to places that make you sweat and have questionable water supplies for making beer."

Grabbing Beerman by the throat, Samsara wheels around and heads off the veranda with Beerman in tow.....

29. Posted by Isadora (Travel Guru 13926 posts) 10y

Holding the torn LP pages for Madagascar in your trembling hand, Isa fumbles with the telephone handset, cradles it between her head and shoulder, and begins to dial a number she has not needed to dial in quite some time. With each spin of the rotary wheel (yes, Isa loves her old vintage rotary phone. None of this new-fangled technology for her!), her heartbeat quickens. What will I tell him?, she thinks to herself. Will he even remember me?

Upon the second ring, a voice comes over the line, "So let me introduce to you... An act you've know for all these years... "
"Hello Sgt. Pepper. May I speak to Sgt. Zhang, please? This is Isadora Duncan calling." It is something of the utmost importance and I need to speak with him straight away! Her voice was as shaky as her hands and her mind was racing.
"How did you know it wa...? Oh, never mind. I'll connect you with Zhang. Just a sec."

"Zhang here" How can I help you, Ms. Duncan?"
"Hello Q. I'm sorry to bother you, but I have something in my possession that may just interest you. I must admit it has given me a bit of a fright. Though you may not remember - I am not one who is easily frightened." Isa couldn't stop staring at the pages as she spoke.
"Not remember??? It has been a long time since our last encounter, but Casablanca has nothing on our time in Argentina. How did the gunshot wounds heal? Well, I hope. Damn those sneaky bastards! Anyway, what is it that has you so spooked?" Sgt. Zhang could not keep the barely noticeable smile from his face. Ah, Argentina...
"Someone dropped a rather large envelop through my mail slot this morning. It contained pages 229-234 of a Lonely Planet guide book inside. They are the complete section on Madagascar. I don't know what this means. Do you?"
"Isadora, stay where you are and don't let those pages out of your sight! I hope you have been very careful in handling them - evidence, you know. I'm sending someone over there immediately!! Is your address still the same?"
"Yes Q, my address has not changed. And yes, I have been careful. Please hurry!! Maybe you should be the one to handle this?" Thoughts of Argentina were also dancing in Isa's head...
"I'm afraid not right now, Isa. But I have just the man for the job. Don't worry, it will be fine." And with that, Sgt Zhang hung up the phone and wrote down an address on a scrap of paper.

"Sgt Preston of the Yukon!! Grab that dog of yours and go to this address!! We just might have the break we were hoping for!! Go man, go quickly!!"

And with that, Sgt Preston of the Yukon headed for the door. "Come on Yukon King! We have a job to do and bad men to catch!! Good dog! Here's a snacky for you. Okay, let's go!" Yukon King's tail wagged vigorously as the two hit the street in pursuit of a new lead.....

(For those who don't remember Sgt. Preston of the Yukon: Sargeant Preston of the Yukon )

30. Posted by beerman (Respected Member 1631 posts) 10y

Quoting beerman

Grabbing Beerman by the throat, Samsara wheels around and heads off the veranda with Beerman in tow.....

Beerman was puzzled. How was it that this odd Samsa woman was able to drag Beerman across the beach with just one hand? Puzzlement gave way to a stinging pain in his neck caused by the vise-like Grip of Doom, Irish Style. "Michael Flatley will hear about this", thought Beerman in disgust.

Several minutes later, the pair arrives at the cruise ship dock. Scanning the horizon like a hungry bird-of-prey, The Samsa woman spies her quarry. "A-ha, that's what we need, just the thing to get out of here incognito....", and she drags Beerman toward an Arab dhow docked just behind the Cap'n Don's Seafood Shack.

Heaving the pained hulk of Beerman onto a pile of burlap sacks at the aft of the dhow, Samsara quickly unties the mooring lines and heaves to. Beerman wants to heave too, but decides against it. "Excusing me please odd woman, why are you Beerman-napping Beerman from his tropical hideaway, and where is that we are sailing away to?"

But Samsara is stone silent, staring at the horizon with a steely gaze. Somewhere out there, someone is trying to ruin her passport stamping challenge. Somehow, she would find the missing pages of her LP Guidebooks. But foremost on her mind was finding some pants for this weird beer guy...those green silk Speedos were just creeping her out.

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