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Mars vs Venus

Travel Forums Off Topic Mars vs Venus


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1. Posted by TKolb325 (Full Member 197 posts) 11y

*Warning* Adult language

This is a bit long, but I think it's worth it.

Here's a prime example of "Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus"
offered by an English professor from the University of Phoenix:

The professor told his class one day: "Today we will experiment with a form called the tandem story. The process is simple. Each person will pair off with the person sitting to his or her immediate right.
As homework tonight, one of you will write the first paragraph of a short story. You will e-mail your partner that paragraph and send
another copy to me. The partner will read the first paragraph and then add another paragraph to the story and send it back, also sending another copy to me. The first person will then add a third
paragraph, and so on back-and-forth. Remember to re-read what has been written each time in order to keep the story coherent. There is be absolutely NO talking outside of the e-mails and anything you wish to say must be written in the e-mail. The story is over when both agree a conclusion has been reached." The following was actually turned in by two of his English students:
Rebecca and Gary.

(first paragraph by Rebecca)

At first, Laurie couldn't decide which kind of tea she wanted. The
chamomile, which used to be her favorite for lazy evenings at home,
now reminded her too much of Carl, who once said, in happier times,
that he liked chamomile. But she felt she must now, at all costs,
keep her mind off Carl. His possessiveness was suffocating, and if she thought about him too much her asthma started acting up again. So chamomile was out of the question.

(second paragraph by Gary)

Meanwhile, Advance Sergeant Carl Harris, leader of the attack
squadron now in orbit over Skylon 4, had more important things to
think about than the neuroses of an air-headed asthmatic bimbo named
Laurie with whom he had spent one sweaty night over a year ago.
"A.S. Harris to Geostation 17," he said into his transgalactic
communicator. "Polar orbit established. No sign of resistance so
far..." But before he could sign off a bluish particle beam flashed
out of nowhere and blasted a hole through his ship's cargo bay. The
jolt from the direct hit sent him flying out of his seat and across the cockpit.


He bumped his head and died almost immediately, but not before he
felt one last pang of regret for psychically brutalizing the one woman who had ever had feelings for him. Soon afterwards, Earth stopped its pointless hostilities towards the peaceful farmers of Skylon 4. "Congress Passes Law Permanently Abolishing War and Space Travel," Laurie read in her newspaper one morning. The news simultaneously excited her and bored her. She stared out the window, dreaming of her youth, when the days had passed unhurriedly and carefree, with no newspaper to read, no television to distract her from her sense of innocent wonder at all the beautiful things around her... "Why must one lose one's innocence to become a woman" she pondered wistfully.


Little did she know, but she had less than 10 seconds to live.
Thousands of miles above the city, the Anu'udrian mothership launched the first of its lithium fusion missiles. The dim-witted wimpy peaceniks, who pushed the Unilateral Aerospace disarmament Treaty through the congress had left Earth a defenseless target for the hostile alien empires who were determined to destroy the human race. Within two hours after the passage of the treaty the Anu'udrian ships were on course for Earth, carrying enough firepower to pulverize the entire planet. With no one to stop them; they swiftly initiated their diabolical plan. The lithium fusion missile entered the atmosphere unimpeded. The President, in his top-secret mobile submarine headquarters on the ocean floor off the coast of Guam, felt the inconceivably massive explosion, which vaporized poor, stupid, Laurie and 85 million other Americans. The President slammed his fist on the conference table. "We can't allow this! I'm going to veto that treaty! Let's blow 'em out of the sky!"

This is absurd. I refuse to continue this mockery of literature. My writing partner is a violent, chauvinistic semi-literate adolescent.

Yeah well, you're a self-centered tedious neurotic whose attempt at writing is the literary equivalent of Valium. "Oh, shall I have chamomile tea or shall I have some other sort of FUCKING TEA. Oh no, I'm such an air headed bimbo who reads too many Danielle Steele novels!"




Go drink some tea. Whore.

A+ - I really liked this one.

2. Posted by Brendan (Respected Member 1824 posts) 11y

hahaha, I really enjoyed that!

3. Posted by FionaNZ (Respected Member 903 posts) 11y


4. Posted by james (Travel Guru 4138 posts) 11y

Due to the length of that, I can't be stuffed reading it.

But if FionaNZ and Brendan find it funny, then so do I

5. Posted by beerman (Respected Member 1631 posts) 11y

Now you see how hard it is to write the TP Novel....

6. Posted by FionaNZ (Respected Member 903 posts) 11y

Me thinks Beerman will have to make LOTS of Martini's to get away
with that particular comment

7. Posted by vegasmike6 (Travel Guru 3562 posts) 11y

If you have read; "Men are From Mars, Women are from Venus" by John Gray, this is not too far off from reality. Men and women do think differently, approach & solve problems differently. One is not superior than the other, they are just different. If you really want a relationship to work, then it is helpful to understand how your partner may react to your actions or words. I found it worth reading.

8. Posted by Brendan (Respected Member 1824 posts) 11y

I don't think it is so "black and white"

9. Posted by FionaNZ (Respected Member 903 posts) 11y

Quoting vegasmike6

One is not superior than the other, they are just different.

Of course we're different.. we can multi task and don't need to turn the car radio down to read a map

10. Posted by Q' (Travel Guru 1987 posts) 11y

Quoting FionaNZ

Of course we're different.. we can multi task and don't need to turn the car radio down to read a map

We don't need a map!....Our innate male sense of direction has been with us since the caveman.....