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STARTING a relationship in a spectacular manner

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31. Posted by SeeTheSky (Respected Member 558 posts) 10y

i know how you feel gelli.. i feel that way, not the same way you do, but i have the same type of thought process when it boils down to it.
well.. dont worry about the whole being 26 thing. im 18 and ive never gone out with a girl, ever. and i think i credit part of who i am becuase of that... i just stayed away from that wierd modern pressure of 'i have to get a girl/boyfriend.' i dont plan on having a partner at all. if it ever feels right, ill do it... but until then, *trying* to find a girl will just lead you to the first girl who meets your standards, not someone who feels right to be with.
well again, thats my belief.
take care!

32. Posted by tway (Travel Guru 7273 posts) 10y

I hate that phrase - "being tied down". I really do. If you're with someone you actually WANT to be with, how can you say your life is limited? If you want to be on your own, then that's what's right for you. If you want to be with someone, that that's what's right for you. And if you change your mind, you change your mind. Heartbreak in life is inevitable. But to say someone else is tying you down?? I think that's a cop out. That's you (and I mean "you" in the general sense) not being honest with your own self about what you want out of life. The ball and chain keeping you down isn't another person - it's something inside of yourself.

Anyone else need the soapbox?

33. Posted by lil j (Travel Guru 1303 posts) 10y

Quoting Gelli

Just think life's too short, it's better to regret the things that you have done than the things that you haven't. Go by this and you'll never look back-the courage it gives you-lol! I live by this!

And this from somebody who took HOW much convincing to travel further than Shoeburyness?!

Hey glad to see you still around-well you have to give me some credit! I made it in the end!

Relationships suck by the way-i love, love being single-its the only way to go, getting attention get a bit boring in the end-maybe i will meet a nice Aussie and change my mind! who knows!

34. Posted by john7buck (Respected Member 458 posts) 10y

Hmmm. I think you`ve just managed to summarise my entire life, relationships and everything else - perfectly - in 7 words

I think Gelli is onto another sure fire bet Q - Haiku!

My name is Q Zhang
TP is where I hang out
Please go out with me!

My God, I have too much time on my hands at work!

35. Posted by SeeTheSky (Respected Member 558 posts) 10y

tina:
i know what you mean, and its really a breakdown in communication. when i(i would say we but i dont know how the other guy feels) say being tied down, i mean it not in a sense that the person is not good for me or that the relationship isnt true, its just that the person we would be happy with might disagree with us in our choices as to our lives in the relationship. its a fear of creating needless conflict between those in the relationship becuase of differences in lifestyle choice. i have met some girls i do love, time and again, however it never felt right to be in a relationship becuase i already knew obvious differences that would cause probable eventual seperation, so i would rather keep the friendship i had with these women as it is something beautiful in itself.

quite simply, im not going to be in a relationship unless i seriously care about the girl and it feels right. until then, im more than happy on my own. in fact, i admit, i do prefer it this way.

so i understand were your coming from, and i guess id have to say that it was a misuse of verbiage on my part, and this is the elaboration, as to what i meant.

thank you for your time, you have now witness evan in a serious moment. chance of this happening per day: est. 5-10% on weekdays 7-11% on weekends.

36. Posted by Brendan (Respected Member 1824 posts) 10y

yeah I think you have "tied-down" right STS. A friend of mine wants to leave the city he lives in but his "partner" doesn't. So he stays. I think that is being tied-down. Not really in a bad way, but it limits possibilities.

37. Posted by Q' (Travel Guru 1987 posts) 10y

There's really no reason why anyone should feel "tied down" if you know yourself and understand your dates well enough. If we're compatible enough, there's no reason we can't do all the things we want to do in life together.

38. Posted by zeisha (Budding Member 715 posts) 10y

Take time to talk, go out togethera sfriends ,do somethings which both of yo are interested in.Let this friendship begin slowly it will take its own time to find yourself involved in the reltionship.

39. Posted by tway (Travel Guru 7273 posts) 10y

Quoting SeeTheSky

when i(i would say we but i dont know how the other guy feels) say being tied down, i mean it not in a sense that the person is not good for me or that the relationship isnt true, its just that the person we would be happy with might disagree with us in our choices as to our lives in the relationship.

I see where you're coming from. I think that's the point in a relationship where you have to lay all your cards out on the table and decide what's best for both of you. I'm a huge believer in honesty - brutal or otherwise. That way you each know exactly where the other stands, at all times, and can make your own honest choices from there. If you wanted to travel for 10 years and your partner didn't, you both have legitimate needs. Neither one is tying the other down - you're both just being honest.

Quoting Brendan

yeah I think you have "tied-down" right STS. A friend of mine wants to leave the city he lives in but his "partner" doesn't. So he stays. I think that is being tied-down. Not really in a bad way, but it limits possibilities.

Hmmm. What if it was the other way around and his partner chose to give up what she loves about home and travel. Would she be tied down by travel? It would be horrible to be "the bad guy" just because you don't want to get up and go. If the guy stays and feels tied down, it's more likely because he's tied himself down. I don't think another person can have that kind of power over you if you don't allow it.

40. Posted by Isadora (Travel Guru 13926 posts) 10y

Quoting tway

Hmmm. What if it was the other way around and his partner chose to give up what she loves about home and travel.

Maybe the partner isn't a she?! ;)