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STARTING a relationship in a spectacular manner

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51. Posted by zeisha (Budding Member 715 posts) 10y

give hera bouquet of flowers and take her out to some place where both of you would like to go to.

52. Posted by Q' (Travel Guru 1987 posts) 10y

Quoting FionaNZ

You are getting rather worked up Q, just chill out a little and ask her out, you'll be fine

So I'm going to refrain from responding & believe me,
I'm itching to

You weren't in the chatroom with Isa, Phil and I. Things aren't as simple as I've described.....but yes, I will go for it.....at the nearest opportunity, which is hard to come by at the moment.

I don't think we're going to solve anything. Both of us understand the rules of the game and know we can't change them.

53. Posted by james (Travel Guru 4136 posts) 10y

Quoting Q_Zhang

.....but yes, I will go for it.....at the nearest opportunity....

Don't go for it just yet; go for her, then go for it

*picks himself up out of the gutter, seats himself in his office chair, and gets back to work*

54. Posted by Isadora (Travel Guru 13926 posts) 10y

After reading the latest installments in this thread, and our chat discussions - you have quite a good idea of how you plan to proceed. It's the waiting period between "now" and "then" that gives someone time to analyze the variety of outcomes. The wait is also quite frustrating for just that reason. Rarely does someone decide, I'm going to ask him/her out on March 1st, mark an "x" on the calendar and then forget about it until that time. You have already chosen a situation that you feel is the most appropriate venue without those "other complicating factors" being in your face, so to speak. Stick with what you feel is right and most comfortable for you. (Now, go put an "x" on your calendar and forget about it - just kidding! )

55. Posted by tway (Travel Guru 7273 posts) 10y

Quoting Q_Zhang

I'm not saying girls don't have a right to look after themselves. Women haven't changed. Men haven't changed much either. Were there weirdo's "back then". I bet you there were. So why this change ?

I wonder if it isn't the ease of communication that makes people more weary today. My sister and a friend met an old school acquaintance a few weeks ago, chatted for awhile, and in all good faith gave him their cell numbers so they could get together some time. Well! He proceeded to call each of them about six times a day, leaving messages, asking where they were, you name it. They finally had to get a male friend to answer their phones and put the guy straight.

This kind of "stalking" wasn't possible before people carried mobiles, or had voicemessage service. Now that the person who does the asking out has a direct and immediate way to communicate with their target of interest, that kind of thing is probably a lot more common.

56. Posted by Isadora (Travel Guru 13926 posts) 10y

Tina has a point there - the mobile phone can put you in instant contact with someone else. (One of many reasons we don't own a mobile.) Stalkers, lurkers, whatever you want to call them, have always been there, just not able to communicate with the person of their desire as easily as now. I also understand what Fiona was saying about having someone calling and texting ad nauseum. Maybe the lesson here isn't so much an increase of irritating people, but one you own accessibility. Maybe the phone should be shut off once in awhile. Someone can't irritate you if no one is answering.

57. Posted by Q' (Travel Guru 1987 posts) 10y

Quoting tway

My sister and a friend met an old school acquaintance a few weeks ago, chatted for awhile, and in all good faith gave him their cell numbers so they could get together some time. Well! He proceeded to call each of them about six times a day, leaving messages, asking where they were, you name it. They finally had to get a male friend to answer their phones and put the guy straight.

This Loser has no self control. If a girl gives me her number, it's a trust. It works the other way too. Coincidentally, as soon as I'm finished this, I have to go tell this girl I know that I can't read...hmmm.....7 of her e-mails in one day. All these things will go through your head (men too otherwise I wouldn't be talking about this). I hope your sister isn't now put off giving her number out. We have a whole thread about how I should find the guts to go ask this girl out. But it also takes guts to give out your number and go out with a new guy.

I started calling this a diatribe, and it is. No logic, just frustration at shear stupidity. And you're right about the modes of communication. Studies have been done on e-mail and cellphone use which show that people place a greater intimacy (sometimes falsely) using them (there are many other characteristics as well).

58. Posted by james (Travel Guru 4136 posts) 10y

If I was a girl, apart from being a lesbian, I'd have a SIM card and phone number which I'd use purely for when I was asked for my number. If someone kept calling and pestering me, I'd throw the SIM card away.

59. Posted by zeisha (Budding Member 715 posts) 10y

email is the best way to express youself in a relationship.

60. Posted by lil j (Travel Guru 1303 posts) 10y

Thats a brill idea James, or use the erm...what's it called-the radio number then if they leave a message it gets aired on the radio!!-classy!