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Anything Vin Diesel

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51. Posted by SeeTheSky (Respected Member 558 posts) 10y

vin diesel became immortal when he was four. he walked into the ocean and had a cribbage duel with poseidon, winning eleven years later, he later became queen of spain with ballpoint pen he made out of his skin.

52. Posted by SeeTheSky (Respected Member 558 posts) 10y

vin diesel was the original author of the declaration of independences. he left it in a bathroom when he ran out of the building chasing the shadow of his lost youth(see: cribbage game w/ poseidon) benjammin arethra franklin later found the incomplete document and took all credit. along with 40 old white dudes.

53. Posted by SeeTheSky (Respected Member 558 posts) 10y

jesus once gave vin diesel a high-five, but it was never recorded in the bible becuase vin took three chickens from the writers and never paid him back having built a new house in the grand canyon out of dried scorpion.

54. Posted by SeeTheSky (Respected Member 558 posts) 10y

vin diesel spent fourteen years as a slice of cheescake becuase dracula bet him he couldnt eat a baby whole. he did, but he puked it back up still whole, and they argued for thirteen minutes as to whether or not he actually ate it. dracula couldnt argue anymore becuase he had to go watch the O.C. with his ability to see the future. becuase t.v. schedules wait for no man. so he changed vin deisel and left. the baby would later be known as bruce springsteen and the numerous UFO sightings of the time were actually vin's angry flights around the world.

55. Posted by SeeTheSky (Respected Member 558 posts) 10y

vin deisel invented anger when he was struck in the side of the head by a seagull. he at the exact same time turned the seagull into the first oven mitt with his unmitigated rage.

56. Posted by tway (Travel Guru 7273 posts) 10y

I think this thread was made for Evan!

57. Posted by Brendan (Respected Member 1824 posts) 10y

hahaha

58. Posted by SeeTheSky (Respected Member 558 posts) 10y

Quoting tway

I think this thread was made for Evan!

well, i think bren-dan and moscowmetr deserve a fair slice of credit

Vin desiel once caught a lightning bolt with his bare hands.

59. Posted by SeeTheSky (Respected Member 558 posts) 10y

if you take the distance from a planet to the nearest sun, and divide it by the nearest moon or cosmic satellite, you get a unversal constant that is v1n=d3s + 13l, where v is the constant velocity of light, n is the distance of planet to sun, d is the distance of planet to moon, s is the acceleration of gravity(9.81 m/S squared), and l is the amount of lip vin desiel gives to an average conversationalist each day.

60. Posted by Brendan (Respected Member 1824 posts) 10y

Stephen Hawking asked Vin Diesel for some help in Calculus back in University. Vin cocked his left eye brow before ripping Stephen's Medulla Oblongata out of his head... through the front.