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Married or NotMarried - Ring?

Travel Forums General Talk Married or NotMarried - Ring?


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21. Posted by ASAVIP (Budding Member 3 posts) 10y

Hmmm, I am fully in agreement at how "isadora" perceives your dilemma if that is how you want us te understand and yet, you are also inclined to become reluctant about your feelings for others and their considerations with your conduct, if I may regard it as such, with or without the ring.

I honestly feel, that making a trip to the two countries as you mentioned, and knowing full well what and why "single men" or individual men preferring those two countries in particular, doesn't carry much or present a credible image to begin with.

I'm married myself and have NOT removed both my engagement & wedding rings for the last 24 years and yet, when in company with or without my beloved wife, I act the same as ALWAYS... I flirt with the ladies simply because I love it and the ambience is always of a good spirited one. NOTHING more at the end of the day. My wife doesn't wear hers and I have no qualms for her deed on that and we have always remain honest to each other without a shadow of doubt.

You be what you want to be and live life as you see it, but if there is a shadow of doubt lingering, certainly you don't really need our blessings to endorse your assumed actions that are yet to be carried out... albeit in good faith or not to your wife...

Just my viewpoint from almost 25 happy years of marriage.:)

22. Posted by Mikey B (Respected Member 181 posts) 10y

When I travelled in Vietnam the local people found it very strange that I WASN'T married. They were surprised that I appeared to be happy and contented even though I didn't have a wife.

Marriage and family are obviously incredibly important to the Vietnamese. A typical introduction would always go...'What is your name, how old are you, are you married/where is your wife'.

At one point I did actually consider pretending that my 'wife' was dead, rather than admitting that I was still single at 38! I figured they would probably feel less sorry for me.

So I would say, keep the ring (in Vietnam at least).

23. Posted by applegirl (Full Member 144 posts) 10y

I think this thread shows that the view of marriage is cultural and personal. There is no right or wrong but up to the individual. Personally I don't treat people differently just because they've got a ring, or not.

I'm married since 7 years and often just put on the ring when I want to 'look nice' same goes for my husband + our wedding rings are not of the traditional sort. Thick silver rings with our names on in runes, we designed them ourselves and they are very nice indeed...I've heard some (very few) concerned comments about not wearing my ring every day and that they don't 'look' like wedding rings, but I take no offence as both me and my husband knows we are very happy together and that's all that matters

24. Posted by ASAVIP (Budding Member 3 posts) 10y

I can't agree more with "applegirl" as she has candidly echoed her signature by ringing home the solid state of a happy marriage and leaving others with their opinions to themselves.


[ Edit: Removed website link. ]

25. Posted by CubeFree (Budding Member 4 posts) 10y

Hi Everyone,

I appreciate your responses so far - esp. mim, applegirl & Mikey B.

Is there anyone out there who feels that they WOULD treat the two subjects differently? (For arguments sake - assume an age of 30, one wearing a big fat gold ring & the other wearing none) (Think about the various situations - rooming together in a hostel in an undeveloped country, travelling with a boyfriend/girlfriend, looking for a boyfriend/girlfriend, age differences, etc.)

I'll give this a couple of days. (No need to repeat what has already been said.)


26. Posted by john7buck (Respected Member 458 posts) 10y

I have to admit, I'm completely clueless when it comes to actually looking at the ring finger under any circumstances. If I met a guy in the hostel who wanted to go out for a beer, I have to say, the last thing on my mind would be "I wonder if this guy is married?" Likewise, and probably more problematic, looking at a girl's finger rarely crosses my mind either. But honestly, if I'm halfway around the world and she lets things progress, I assume this would be more her problem than mine. Incidently, this is where the questions seem to arise in your post. Personally, I wouldn't see any benefit in pretending I was single, if in fact I had no intentions of exploring my options. But then, if your wife is completely at ease with this, what the hell does my opinion matter?

27. Posted by Rach-a (Respected Member 368 posts) 10y

Hey CubeFree - haven't spoke to many Japanese on this site I don't think! :) I don't judge anyone when travelling and generally meeting them as 'friends' whether they are married, single have seven wives or whatever creed they are I don't judge atall! At the end of the day though that's just me!! I love to meet people from all over the world and my judgement on them goes on after I have known/spoke to the person on a personal level! However if I was looking for a potential lover/partner whilst travelling - yes I would take into consideration the fact if they were married or not as my personal values with regards to marriage are - not to be unfaithful! I wouldn't treat them any different on a platonic level - however if things got sexual and I knew they were married I'd back off! I expect that maybe you did it for a laugh or because you were curious of other peoples opinions/reactions etc. and just wanted to see and that's all cool - however take it as a one off and go to Bangkok telling people that you are married!

Peace out

28. Posted by CubeFree (Budding Member 4 posts) 10y

It seems this thread is finished.

If anyone wishes to give me any private reflections on the concept of travelling as a married person without the spouse (with or without a ring), I would probably find it interesting. Send me a message.


29. Posted by FionaNZ (Respected Member 903 posts) 10y

If someone treats you differently when wearing the ring as opposed to not, perhaps they aren't worth worrying about.. just because I am single, I couldn't give a toss if someone is married, travelling is all about what you see & who you meet along the way and I would prefer to hear the truth about the fact that she does not like the same style of travel as you do. If I found out afterwards that you had lied about this, I would have to wonder about your intentions in the first place, despite your protestations. It would kind of come across as a sleazy pick up line then.. you know the old "women stay away I'm a broken man line"

Also, I find it to be a bit disrespectful to your wife to pretend that you are divorced, whether she knows about it or not!!

30. Posted by Isadora (Travel Guru 13926 posts) 10y

Quoting Isadora

You did not respect your wife enough to acknowledge her - with or without the ring.

Quoting FionaNZ

Also, I find it to be a bit disrespectful to your wife to pretend that you are divorced, whether she knows about it or not!!

Respect is earned - but I don't think your "respect" points increased with this one...