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Got Jokes?

Travel Forums Off Topic Got Jokes?

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11. Posted by mtlgal (Full Member 1179 posts) 10y

Quoting Isadora

A short joke...

A seal walks into a club.

I don't get it...

12. Posted by mtlgal (Full Member 1179 posts) 10y

Quoting CupCake

Two guys walk into a bar...the third one ducks...

I don't get this one either. Am I freakin' dense or what??

13. Posted by vegasmike6 (Travel Guru 3562 posts) 10y

Blonde Jokes;
Q: What does a blonde say when you ask her if her blinker is working?
A: Yes. No. Yes. No. Yes. No. Yes. No. Yes. No.

Q: What goes VROOM, SCREECH, VROOM, SCREECH, VROOM, SCREECH?
A: A blonde going through a flashing red light.

Q: Why can't a blonde get a drivers license?
A: Because every time the instructor says "Let's park" she jumps in the back seat

14. Posted by vegasmike6 (Travel Guru 3562 posts) 10y

Quoting mtlgal

Quoting CupCake

Two guys walk into a bar...the third one ducks...

I don't get this one either. Am I freakin' dense or what??

Or What. They hit their heads on the steel bar, the last one ducks, play on words.

15. Posted by vegasmike6 (Travel Guru 3562 posts) 10y

Quoting Isadora

A short joke...

A seal walks into a club.

Isadora, are you referring to our Canadian friends and their habit of killing baby harp seals? Does not seem to be a funny topic.

16. Posted by Isadora (Travel Guru 13926 posts) 10y

Quoting vegasmike6

Quoting Isadora

A short joke...

A seal walks into a club.

Isadora, are you referring to our Canadian friends and their habit of killing baby harp seals? Does not seem to be a funny topic.

Sometimes a joke is just a joke, Mike.

Isa, being a blonde, wanders off to make sure the blinkers are working...

17. Posted by Isadora (Travel Guru 13926 posts) 10y

Two friends, Fred and Harry were golfing one fine day.

Toward the end of the golf course, Fred had hit his ball into the woods.

Harry, laughed and poked fun, but then somehow managed to hit his ball into the woods, just a few yards beyond where Fred has hit his.

Fred looked for a long time, getting angrier every minute.
Finally, in a patch of pretty yellow buttercups, he found his ball.

Instead of just continuing the game, he took his club and thrashed every single buttercup in that patch smashing the weeds to pieces.

All of a sudden, in a flash and puff of smoke, a little old woman appeared.
She said, "I'm Mother Nature! Do you know how long it took me to make those buttercups?!

Just for that, you won't have any butter for your popcorn the rest of your life... better still; you won't have any butter for your toast for the rest of your life..... as a matter of fact, you won't have any butter for anything the rest of your life!"
Then POOF!...she was gone.

After Fred got a hold of himself, he hollered for his friend,
"Harry!....Harry!...where are you?"

Harry yells, "I hit my ball in these damn pussywillows!"

Fred screams back....."DON'T SWING! FOR GOD'S SAKE, DON'T SWING!

18. Posted by Brendan (Respected Member 1824 posts) 10y

What did the soap say to the shampoo?

You did it didn't you! You blew it up! Damn you all!! Damn you all to hell!!

19. Posted by TKolb325 (Full Member 197 posts) 10y

What's brown and sticky?

A stick

20. Posted by TKolb325 (Full Member 197 posts) 10y

A man is sitting on a public toilet when the guy in the stall next to him says
"Hi, how are you?"

"Um fine," answers the man.

"What are you up to?" asks the other guy.

"I'm traveling," the first guy says hesitantly.

"Mind if I stop over?"

"What? Why the hell would you do that?"

"Hey, I'll call you back," says the other guy.
"The dipshit in the next stall keeps talking to me."