I'm not sure what advice I am really looking for here, but welcome any feedback.
I recently had a hard time coping with the love of my life leaving after she decided to travel the world, our relationship was not "the best" as we both were with other people. I know this is not right in many peoples eyes, but the feelings we had for each other were amazing. I would have given up everything to be with her, but circumstances said we couldn't.
We have stayed in touch but I find it hard knowing she is the other side of the world, with someone she does not want to be with. I am now single waiting for her to come back. Christmas is going to be ... well low.. is probably the best way of describing it.
If there is anyone out there in a similar siuation, I would be more than happy ot hear what you have gone though and how you dealt with it.
We have stayed in touch but I find it hard knowing she is the other side of the world, with someone she does not want to be with.
It seems ur relationship is in a mess.She is kidding. how can she be with someone she doesn't want to be. Think again about ur luv..may be ur just trying to runaway from the realities of life...The early you realise this, more it is better for you.
Start ur life with something fresh in the HAPPY NEW YEAR 2006.
I had a similar situation when i started seeing a girl 7 months before she was going to australia for the year.We both knew she was leaving and we accepted that.But as things go,we both ended up falling for each other (i know it sounds like a soppy novel )but its what happened,even after we both told eachother that we'd keep it a f*ck buddy relationship-it never actually ended up that way.
Anyway the time came and she headed off as we both knew would happen,I was stuck here in the depths of winter while she headed off to a year of paradise in Australia ,so you can imagine my depression!!
I deceided I couldnt handle her over there meeting new people and having a ball while i was working away at home so i decided to finish it.She was devastated.
After some time it turned out that a couple of mates were heading over and I so i decided to go over.I tried to get contact with the girl again and couldnt.When i got to oz i found she had met up with someone else.She told me that she hadnt been with anyone for the 6 months she was over there and i knew it was true because i heard it off a couple of reliable sources.She said she was planning on coming home a month after i had broken up with her but when i broke up with her(after saying wed stay together) she was so angry for me doing it that she set out to forgget me and find someone else.So from my experience id keep in contact til she gets the travel bug out of her system and if you both are into eachother it'll rekindle itself.Find out how you both really feel and dont make the mistake imade which is the biggest mistake/regret of my life
Prob not quite the same but i was on-off with some for a year, after a few months things got 'weird' he knew i was seeing other people (not something i kept hidden and it was 'ok' as we werent together) and i later found out he was seeing a couple of other people, but we always came back to each other, it was as if we couldnt end contact.
Things got somewhat complicated and his mate at work had feelings for me and obviously heard about what i was doing thru him. Before i went to Oz we had ended contact and i thought for good and began to move on.
Went away and came back and had 'forgotten' him. Then he decided to get in contact with me when i got back out of the blue, have seen him at a club a coupla times and it's obvious there's something there but he knows i'm going to Oz for a couple years and in a way its as if we have accepted it but since seeing him again i still think about him. Although if he just said how he really felt things could have been different but i've slowly moved on and think he thinks nothing can be done now.
i think it's one of those things that you HAVE to accept and move on and if it's meant to be then it's meant to be. why turn your life upside down, you have to get on. It's true-time's a healer!
Hate to break it to you but in my experience, if people arent truely in love with someone, then they wont be with them. People may say "Im with them but I dont want to be, I dont love them blah blah blah" But when looking a the bigger picture, some of my friends are in really tragic relationships and Ive been there myslef.....Sometimes people just cant let go...at the end of the day if she really didnt want to be with this guy then she would have sought her independance, been straight with him and could have gone off and fed her travel bug.
I think you need to let go and forget about her, this isnt good for you....look how unhappy the whole thing is making you, thats not a good relationship if you are made to feel like this...I say, cut theties, move on, enjoy christmas and live each day of your life as if its your last, lifes to short!!!!Have a fabulous Christmas and look at the New Year as a clean slate!
That sounds rough. I can tell you I have been in a similar situation.
I was travelling and ended up in amsterdam for 5 mnths. I met my italian boyfriend of 1.5 yrs there. Our relationship was cool in europe. When he had to travel...that was great and visa versa.
The problem was, we fell in love but I had a ticket home to canada.
It was a teary goodbye with loose promises. We managed to "stay together" for an extra six mnths without seeing eachother.
He came to canada and it was amazingly strange. Recentley, I went to florence and visited him.
I guess we tryed to work it out for a while but realized that it couldn't be done long distance. We are still friends and cherish eachother and our past. This all happened 4 years ago.
Now I am with somebody else, going on 2.5 yrs now. We plan on travelling
for a year together.
Ofcourse going through something like this is going to be difficult...it does get easier. Live your lives respectivley and if you end up together somewhere down the road, then you know it's worth it.
Do your own thing and you will learn something about yourself and your relationship with her.
I wish you a very happy holiday. Take care.