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Str8, Gay and what ever in between

Travel Forums Off Topic Str8, Gay and what ever in between

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41. Posted by Q' (Travel Guru 1987 posts) 10y

Quoting tway

I would assume that a woman is a woman - and a man is a man - regardless of if they are gay or straight. Is there really a third option? Or are you talking about "flamboyantly gay" individuals, men who exhibit more 'female' characteristics, and vice versa?

No, I'm not making a distinction. I'm not sure if gays and lesbians are different than "men" and "women". It probably depends on the topic. That's part of the problem isn't it. No clear social understanding of what gays and lesbians are. Everyone has their own opinion and they all differ.

42. Posted by Purdy (Travel Guru 3546 posts) 10y

I personally couldnt care less if someone is gay straight or likes the companionship of animals - aint my business - though one of my best mates is gay and we have great girly nites!!

Belfast had the first civil cermonies for same sex partnerships before Christmas - which was great - the rainbow brigade on one side cheering on and Ian Paisleys Free Presbyterians on the other telling them the were doomed to go to hell - hilarious for a bystander - great free entertainment!!

Purdy

43. Posted by summer910 (Respected Member 1342 posts) 10y

Quoting Q_Zhang

No, I'm not making a distinction. I'm not sure if gays and lesbians are different than "men" and "women". It probably depends on the topic. That's part of the problem isn't it. No clear social understanding of what gays and lesbians are. Everyone has their own opinion and they all differ.

No clear social understanding? I'm not sure I understand what you're driving at. It's pretty clear that homosexuals (gays and lesbians) are those who are attracted to people of the same sex, and not to people of the opposite sex. Gays are men who like men, and lesbians women who prefer women. Last checked, they're men and women and only different from heterosexuals because of their sexual orientation. Instead, you might have problems categorising transsexuals, transvestites, or even those who've gone for sex changes.

I agree with Tina that interaction with people depends on the vibes they give out. There are plenty of homosexuals out there who are warm, friendly, knowledgeable and have a great sense of humour. They're great people. There is no "standard" way to behave towards them, because how can you have a rulebook on interpersonal relationships and put everything in black and white?

beerman, good post!

44. Posted by james (Travel Guru 4136 posts) 10y

I don't dislike gays (or anyone for that matter), but as I've said before, I just can't get my mind around a guy being sexually attracted to another guy. I just don't get it, and I think that it's totally unnatural, and no one can convince me otherwise (a bit like trying to convince me that 1+1=3 - it ain't!)

I recently saw what looked like a 60+ year old guy with a 17 year old girl (who were all over each other). Yeah they may love each other, yeah it's not society's business what they do, yeah blah, blah, blah - but it's gross and not right. A 60 year old guy is "not supposed" to be with a 17 year old girl (and vice versa) just like a guy is not supposed to be with another guy. Changing laws doesn't make it any less gross or unnatural. I don't need the bible to know that.

45. Posted by tway (Travel Guru 7273 posts) 10y

Quoting Q_Zhang

I'm not sure if gays and lesbians are different than "men" and "women". It probably depends on the topic. That's part of the problem isn't it. No clear social understanding of what gays and lesbians are. Everyone has their own opinion and they all differ.

I mustn't have had enough coffee today - I'm still not getting the distinction. The only example I can think of is, for example, a man who communicates to women through flirtation. You know, the type who winks at elderly ladies and holds out a chair for a woman. For him, I guess relating to a lesbian would be odd or awkward or difficult, only because the sexual tie would be lacking and he'd be at a loss as to how to act.

Sorry, Q - I'm trying! I don't understand how straight or gay can be social groups when, to my understanding, the distinction is purely sexual. I'd have more in common with, say, a writer's group composed of straight and gay men and women than I would with an all-girls Britney Spears fan club.

46. Posted by Q' (Travel Guru 1987 posts) 10y

If I'm at a bar, checking out the hot waitress with a girl I just met. My new friend seems cool, intelligent conversation, nice dress, tasteful makeup, having a Corona, obviously my new found friend will..............give me lots of great hints about how to pick the waitress up.....oh did I mention she's a lesbian ? My point is that you don't "normally" go up to a girl you just met and talk about other hot girls. If I go up to a lesbian I just met, I'd feel fine talking about hot girls.

Let's simplify the discussion a bit and forget for the moment that we're talking about homosexuals.

Is being a woman simply having two X chromosomes ? Or having female body parts ? Or being called a girl by your mother ? Or having sexual experiences with guys ? Or wearing makeup ? Or experiencing menopause? At what stage are you "a woman" ? I believe that there is a psychological as well as physical difference between men and women. It's the result of the clothes we wear. It's from being told we're men or women all our lives. It's from flirting with the opposite sex. And so on.

Similarily, is a gay man or lesbian woman simply defined by his or her sexual orientation ? I don't believe they are. I'm leaning towards homosexuality as a sense of identity. No different than being a woman or being a man. But, others disagree.

Hope that makes more sense now.

47. Posted by Cupcake (Travel Guru 8468 posts) 10y

I hope I am not defined by my sexual orientaion. :(
I don't know of anyone that is defined by that, but I have lead a sheltered life...I may be wrong.
I also have many gay friends. And a few of the lesbians would be very uncomfortable talking about the hot waitress. Anyone can be shy, introverted, gay, straight....

48. Posted by tway (Travel Guru 7273 posts) 10y

Quoting Q_Zhang

Similarily, is a gay man or lesbian woman simply defined by his or her sexual orientation ? I don't believe they are. I'm leaning towards homosexuality as a sense of identity. No different than being a woman or being a man. But, others disagree.

I'm not sure how these are mutually exclusive. One can identify with being a woman as well as being a lesbian - she is not either a woman or a lesbian. A lesbian is not a different type of woman - she is a woman with a different sexual orientation.

I may be way off base here, as I'm a hetero trying to interpret what a homosexual may feel, but I'd say homosexuality IS about one's sexual orientation. When I say I'm hetero, I mean I'm a woman who's attracted to men. I don't mean I like jeans and eyeliner and Kurt Vonnegut books. I mean simply that my sexual orientation is towards men. That's it. The rest of what makes up me is me - I'm defined by the person I've grown into, my childhood experiences, my thoughts, my mistakes, my interests. I think people identify with me, and not with my heterosexuality - except, of course, when it comes to having a relationship. That's the only place I see hetero and homosexualtiy differing.

49. Posted by Q' (Travel Guru 1987 posts) 10y

Quoting tway

I'm not sure how these are mutually exclusive.

Yeah, I think we both agree on the important points. Like "nothing wrong with gay marriages". We'll have to agree to disagree on fine points like what exactly is the meaning of "man", "woman", "gay", "lesbian"....

50. Posted by tway (Travel Guru 7273 posts) 10y

OK - let's shake hands! ;) I'll share my cookies but you can't have any M&Ms.