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51. Posted by beerman (Respected Member 1631 posts) 10y

Quoting tway

I have it on good authority that a certain Beer-individual, who will remain unnamed, has recently received chest-hair plugs...

.....and in a flash of very-blinding red light, accompanied by the staccato tippity-tap of the little footies of nine housecats-on-a-mission, comes Beerman, armed for bear..........

So, I am seeing that a certain unnamed someones who is not a llama in reals lifes is readings the tabloids magazinis of Greater Montrealistan, which are many liars who have less than no honors and really bad eggs. These tabloidies are evils and are making up theengs about manly hairy-chested beer-individuals because manly hairy-chested beer individuals are so much more manly and hairy-chested than tabloidies could ever even hope to make becomes, and they write with a funny accent. You are can tell because they are always putting "e" before "u" and making sounds of funny behind backs of people of who are more normal and manly and don't make speech with funny "oooeeuuuu..." sounds.

Brainswashings must be made to stops. Is always minds of easily led who believe what is they read in tabloidies. I make easily led to better selfs with this handy new pocket-sized brochure, "Is Beermans Guide to Making Speaks with American Accent of South Alabamas...And For Making Better of Self In Three Easy Lessons". So, certain easily leds individuals who are being brainswashed shoulds make watch on postal box for arrival of brochure.

...cats all sneeze in unison.....

And because Beerman is kindly and gentle Beerman, Beerman will not make exact of his revenge to tabloidies for attempted slight of reputation, but instaed will do only..........

...and in an overwhelmingly blinding whirl of red and other assorted colors, Beerman calls forth the Gods of cat dander. In an instant or less, Beerman and the nine housecats are gone, leaving behind a really rather large quantity of cat dander and hair floating lightly in the remaining swirl of color, temporarily causing havoc and chaos on the streets on Montrealistan. On his way out, Beerman draws chestwigs on all the mannequins in every store in the Old Quarter......

52. Posted by Isadora (Travel Guru 13926 posts) 10y

Quoting beerman

...and really bad eggs.

Isa has just now found the comfy chaise lounge and is sitting back, with cocktails, to watch the fireworks display that will soon be visible over Montrealistan... Oh, the thrill of it all!!!

53. Posted by tway (Travel Guru 7273 posts) 10y

The roving tabloidies reporter is down for the count! Kleenex saled on the island go up significantly! You may have won the battle, Beerman, but not the chest-heir war!

Hey - who said that?

54. Posted by beerman (Respected Member 1631 posts) 10y

You are knowing...it would seems that living on cold island surrounded by river named for saint named Larry, that voices come into head from out of nearly nowheres....is almost a schizopheniacal sort of life..........I am thinking is maybe because Tim Horton's just went public and began selling stocks today...

...voice of Tim Horton's employee slave person......

"'Allo meester customer person!! You will have coffee today, oui? Take this doughnut too, you must eat. Is almost as good as doughnuts in Old Pais, but not. Here you may have stock too. Please to give 29.95 CanuckiBucks for good service."

See? It is just a weirdness, too mixey between old and news....non identite of its' own....schizophreniacal.......

must be the cold.......

55. Posted by tway (Travel Guru 7273 posts) 10y

Bah! Bloody Tim's stocks peaked at almost $38! But their French Vanilla cappuccino ($1.50 for a large!) is simply heavenly... send more franchises! Need fix! Ack!

And did you notice my typo - "chest-heir war"? Methinks we're fighting for more than chest-hair bragging rights. We're fighting for the very follicles themselves! Up with razors! Down with Rogaine! As soon as the sneezing stops, I'm going to gather the weary troops for a pectoral fight such as mankind has never seen!

I was going to say "hair-raising" fight, but the groans would have been distracting...

56. Posted by Isadora (Travel Guru 13926 posts) 10y

Isa sets up the Rogaine and razor concession for those who who have forgotten to bring their weapons of choice, and awaits the commencement of war... Both the Rogaine and the razors are available at the following prices:

Rogaine (5ml): $2.50 USD / $163.76 CanuckiBucks
Disposable Razors: $0.75 USD / $49.13 CanuckiBucks

  • Refills on sale now! Save 0.10% on individual purchases - 0.25% on bulk buys of the same item.
57. Posted by tway (Travel Guru 7273 posts) 10y

I can't do it! I can't muster up the energy for a war. Can we play Twister to the death instead? We need someone neutral to do the spinning...

58. Posted by beerman (Respected Member 1631 posts) 10y

Quoting tway

I can't do it! I can't muster up the energy for a war. Can we play Twister to the death instead? We need someone neutral to do the spinning...

OK, you are ons.....but I am sayings this at you now: No "chest-hair on green" calls while nose is on blue (or even bleu).

.....Beerman picks up gaunlets of challenges and requests CC and Hien be spinners while Isa and Pardus Mooderate.......and begins to stretch his work weary muscles for the Ultimate Twister Competition Of Doom, Part One.....

MWUUUUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAA....COUGH COUGH......

59. Posted by Isadora (Travel Guru 13926 posts) 10y

And here I thought the two of you would choose a game of battleship... What do I know...

Where is Ms. CoupCake these days??? She says she's back and then disappears again...

Mwahahahahaha... Isa takes advantage of this chance to catch up again........ Hopelessly, but optimism never hurts...

60. Posted by Hien (Moderator 3906 posts) 10y

Quoting Isadora

... Where is Ms. CoupCake these days??? She says she's back and then disappears again...

CHOCOLATE!!! FREE CHOCOLATE!!! IT'S FREE!!! CHOCOLATE!!!

Anyone?