I just joined, but been reading some threads and blogs and there seems to be a lot of good advice and opinions on offer.
Anyway, I'm leaving the UK at the end of May to travel with my boyfriend for the first time. I've travelled for a few months in Asia and in the US before, he hasn't really travelled much at all. We've very optimistic about how we're going to get on, because we're the best of friends in addition to being a couple but at the same time I know that parts will be stressful, and so many people have negative things to say about young people travelling together. Does anyone have any advice for us about how to travel as a couple and stay sane?
I say just make sure you do have a bit of occassional time out....everyone needs some time to themself, even if its just a half hour stroll to the shop to get a drink...this is the same even if it were a friend, boyfriend, family member...if you dont get some private time you would go crazy!!!!Hmmmm maybe thats just me,I like the occassional bit of time away from someone if Im with them 24 hours a day!!!
Be open to compromise rather than seeing it as opposing opinions, rather than both being stubborn and sticking to your side, strike up a compromise right in the middle!This works everytime and I think its definatley saved me from a few arguements!!!
But I reakon you will be fine....you will have an amazing time and it sounds like you have both chosen the right person to go with!!!Have fun!
Yeah it's important to do a few things separately now and again. And I think it's inevitable that you have a few little arguments just from being in the same space so much. But it is really rewarding to share seeing the world with someone else, I have no regrets about doing it.
Yeah, that's definitely always been part of the plan. We are both quite independant and definitely have different interests so we're quite open about that, so hopefully when the time comes for us to do seperate things for an afternoon, a day or a week even, there will be no hurt feelings. Besides, I think there's som ething very romantic about parting ways and meeting up again a week later in some other new, exotic place!
We're starting in India though, and for that bit I'm really glad I'll be there with a man, from what I've read aboout the harrassment some women encounter.
it can definitley be an amazing thing, if done right. if you ask me, all it takes to do it right, is just always be honest and communicate how you feel or what you want. be straightforward to each other about everything and they'll be no probs. communication is really the big thing, especially when travelling with someone. im not saying you need to be telling each other where you're goin all the time and be giving detials, just let them know what you want to do and how you're feeling. it'll keep away the bane of all travelling partners-differentiating expectations. thats where all the problems come from.
thats my thoughts, peace an love.
I say go for it!
Well "Windmill", you'd be a bit screwed if I changed my mind now, wouldn't you!
A bit out of topic but you need to be informed and hence this message:
Harrasement of woman is everywhere,even in your country, as one my femle friends has experienced and so not limited only to India.The problem is that lone foreign females, some of them, disregard/disrespect the cultural norms of the country.Such acts of these few people leads to problems for other lone females visiting India.
Thanks for the advice Citybell.
I intend to ensure I'm not inviting harrassment in any way I know how, by covering up completely in baggy clothes, wearing a faux-wedding ring and wearing my daypack on the front (reccommended by lonely planet), and I'll be travelling with a male too. Do you know of any other ways I can ensure that I'm respecting the culture and also minimising my risk of harrassment or worse?
I hope it works for you from the various considered advice you've been getting. I think its good that you ask the initial question here. I hope this helps....:
1) Harrassment.... At the risk of sounding a little prejudiced (which I've always fought against) ther CAN be sometimes in asia an assumption that because western women are more liberated, they will naturally want to sleep with ANYone they meet. This comes from a fundamental misunderstanding of "liberation". The fact that you are free to choose, is often taken to mean you WILL choose. But your demeanour and body language should allay this problem along with the advice you have already taken, from what I read.
2) There have been some wise comments and advice given to you about compromise with your partner. Also about being honest and communicating with each other. I have seen couples travel together very successfully. I would only add the following question, which you need only only answer in your own head... "How willing are you to compromise?"
Speaking ONLY for myself, I'm one of the world's worst compromisers. When I started travelling, it was because I wanted many things... learning, experience, etc etc etc. But freedom was one of those important ones. I found it very hard to feel free when I tried travelling with a partner. That does NOT mean you will find it hard. But its something you need to be clear about in your own mind.
The 2 of you need to be prepareds for the possibility that 1 or both of you may find that the draw of independant travel (alone) becomes to strong to resist. That may not happen... but if you start the journey accepting it might, and if you are always honest with each other.... it may save a lot of heartache IF it goes that way.
I'm speaking from experience here! I just hope my experience helps someone else now and again.... BUT, thank Mother Earth, not everyone is like me. You may well find travelling with your partner a wonderful and rewarding experience and I hope thats the case. I wish you both well!!