Skip Navigation

TRAVELLERS UNITED FOOTBALL CLUB

Travel Forums Off Topic TRAVELLERS UNITED FOOTBALL CLUB

Page

Last Post

11. Posted by Isadora (Travel Guru 13926 posts) 10y

Quoting jase007

the beer is real though - isn't it, and a little bit of chocolate........ please let it be real...

The beer is real. Delivering it will be the biggest problem...

12. Posted by tway (Travel Guru 7273 posts) 10y

I believe we need to start thinking more seriously about these beverages. If the NFL has Gatorade, we need some sort of large beer vat to pour Beerman's stash over us after a successful game. Mind, we'll also need rain slickers to protect our sensational and perfectly matched uniforms.

13. Posted by Jase007 (Travel Guru 8870 posts) 10y

I agree with the need to take the booze front more serious.
The reckless pouring over people is a crime that should not be comitted (unless i've had my fill anyway).
We also need some big sponsorer to ship us all to the after match parties !!!!

14. Posted by Mdog (Budding Member 24 posts) 10y

as team captain i am proud to accept those who posted into this thread into the travellers united football club; welcome. the fixture for tuesday against manu is back on, we only need a few more players to make up the numbers. come on all you lazy beasts! remember to apply post your name country and skills in this forum. preference goes to those who can stand on their hands with their feet in the air and drink a cup of tea whilst rubbing their tummy and patting their head and counting up to twentyfourthousand five hundred and sixty seven in twos. whilst swimming.

oh and for a multiple beverage it seems beerman is the suitable candidate for the job, i propose some sort of bratislavan lager followed by banana nesquick chasers. ps. all bratislavan lager refreshments must be followed by the banana nesquick chaser, whether drinking or simply pouring over the head in a marathon runners "oo im so tired and sweaty i just need to cool down by pouring this all over my face and temporarily obstructing my feild of vision" kind of way. ps. we need some chants also. and a colour of our strip

15. Posted by tway (Travel Guru 7273 posts) 10y

Quoting Mdog

ps. we need some chants also. and a colour of our strip

I don't know what a strip is, but if it needs to be a colour, I vote for black!

16. Posted by Rraven (Travel Guru 5924 posts) 10y

ohhh can i be goalie ???

experience
was goalie on a hurley,gaelic and football teams for 5 years (ok ok i was in school and it was a while ago but still i have trophies.....) , can drink like a fish, wear black a lot so the strip will look okay,... oh and i hung around with bikers for years so i can swear like a trooper while looking innocent .....oh and if the worst comes to the worst i'll just flash the other team to distract them

17. Posted by Jase007 (Travel Guru 8870 posts) 10y

Raven gets my vote, anyone who's into bikes, swears like a trooper and willing to flash all for the team has got to be up for the team player of the month award. Mind you beerman might be upset sharing the keeper duties.
What formation are we going to play?
I think if the beerman is going to be sorting out the booze we ought to have a good defence to stop the opposition from getting their hands on it

Is there any chance we can use motor-x bikes with ice-tyres to get around the field? I'm just thinking of the team, you want to be able to get to the booze asap without losing any valuable drinking time.

18. Posted by beerman (Respected Member 1631 posts) 10y

Quoting jase007

Raven gets my vote, anyone who's into bikes, swears like a trooper and willing to flash all for the team has got to be up for the team player of the month award. Mind you beerman might be upset sharing the keeper duties.
What formation are we going to play?
I think if the beerman is going to be sorting out the booze we ought to have a good defence to stop the opposition from getting their hands on it

Is there any chance we can use motor-x bikes with ice-tyres to get around the field? I'm just thinking of the team, you want to be able to get to the booze asap without losing any valuable drinking time.

OK, I'm awake.....been bogged down working out the beer-defense devices. Personally, I like elephant guards.

I'm happy to share keeper duties with Raven, then I'll be the first to see the flashing-going-on-thing.

As creator/supplier of the beer, I must protest the banana nesquik chasers. It just sounds "icky". I would prefer, and I will make, chocolate rum punch smoothies......they go down much better, leave you with no lingering milky taste in your mouth, and are guaranteed to piss off the other side, who won't have them. Pissed off = sloppy play......we should win handily.

Now, the supply of beer: My minions can only make 12,000 cases (24 x 355mL) per day. I'm fairly confident that, given sufficient time to report to the Field of Valor, I can provide upwards of 58.3427 million pints (6 jillion Canadian) to our side. As an incentive to root for us (hereafter known as "The Good People"), I will flood the stands with free pints. This heretofore unknown tactic will completely change the balance of the Earths' attitude, resulting in certain victory for The Good People, i.e. us.

I'll take number 1. What other number do you think about after a few pints?

Skills: Manly chest wig, ability to supply all necessary beer, razor sharp wit for cutting opponent down to small bits of poo, ability to recognize checkered ball as "football", ability to talk opponents to death, can bribe officials repeatedly, have Mad Scientist lab coat, can do Mad Scientist Fiendish laugh, ability to alter time and space, can walk many yards at a time, and manly chest wig.

I was the Arizona Junior Mocking Champ 12 years running, 3-Time Gold Medalist in the Southern California Lay-On-The-Beach-Drinking-Beer Contest, and Undefeated Champion of the Illinois/Wisconsin Chapter of Drinkers Really Insulting Nebulous Koncepts (D.R.I.N.K).

So, what was the question again?

19. Posted by tway (Travel Guru 7273 posts) 10y

Quoting beerman

I'll take number 1. What other number do you think about after a few pints?

Tway Schmiway of Norway has laid claims to 01, so you must promise, cross-your-heart-and-hope-to-lose-chestwig, pinkie-promise, swear on your aunt's grandmother's nurse's dog-walker's third cousin twice removed that you will NOT add a 0 to your jersey number.

That won't be confusing, 01 and 1? Oh - it'll just rattle our opponents all the more!

I think we should learn how to wiggle our thumbs on our noses and chant "nanny-nanny-poo-poo" to the opposing team. Then, Beerman can come from behind and tickle them till they pee their untidy uniforms and give up the goal.

Oh - think of the money we'll make!

20. Posted by Jase007 (Travel Guru 8870 posts) 10y

Good to see beerman has a strategy, but i think the amount of beer could fall short by a few gallons (weak american stuff being the reason )
As for shirt numbers i'll take either 007 or 13, doing my impression of bond and comming to the party with a multitude of gadgets to blind the other team or just blow them up

Experience is limited to standing on one leg jugling 20 pints of guinness, talking absolute bollocks whilst riding a motorbike at and amazing speed, pulling a wheely and still managing to smoke a cig and get the next round in.

Footie skills are a bit on the basic having spent a few years in the UK i've managed to learn nothing about playing (which i think is what the english do), but can distract the ref by screaming and shouting, faking injury or offering a bung like a true pro whilst allowing the rest of the team to get on with the game.

If that doesn't work i can lead the team in a haka followed by a drinking comp