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Worst lines and other such anecdotes

Travel Forums Off Topic Worst lines and other such anecdotes

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11. Posted by cookieyum (Inactive 75 posts) 10y

Bastard of a big issue man on campus says this to every girl who walks past wearing a short skirt:
'has anyone seen my girlfriend gonorrhoea?...oh there she is.'
What a charmer! Can someone please hunt this man down and give him a HUGE kick in the bollo**s.

Also, saw this in a sketch show the other day:
'Excuse me madam but do you like chicken?'
'Ummm, yes i do actually'
'Well suck on my c**k cos it's fowl'
Minging but it made us laugh!

12. Posted by coldwarspy (Travel Guru 1108 posts) 10y

My Line i used in Dublin:

me to Irish girl: "you must be Irish"
Irish Girl: "And how do you know?"
me!: "Cuz my penis is doublin"

get it? Doublin = Dublin...... OI!

13. Posted by tway (Travel Guru 7273 posts) 10y

Quoting jeffG

My Line i used in Dublin:

me to Irish girl: "you must be Irish"
Irish Girl: "And how do you know?"
me!: "Cuz my penis is doublin"

get it? Doublin = Dublin...... OI!

Hmm... you know, it's never a good sign if you have to explain the pun...

14. Posted by Brendan (Respected Member 1824 posts) 10y

These are some... hmmm... cheeky (?) stories. From STS's D*** grabbing adventures to Tway's Madmen this is one crazy world. I have to say that I don't have any good ones...

15. Posted by SeeTheSky (Respected Member 558 posts) 10y

you a lucky fellow brendan. just keep it all ninja style lookout and if ya see one coming huck a throwing knife in his clavicle. Yea it made me paranoid for like 20 minutes

You said you'd play clean oh what a load-a crap, by the time that you were through with me i had to take a bath, so shaaaarpen your teeth...

16. Posted by Cupcake (Travel Guru 8468 posts) 10y

guy: Wanna go back to my place, have sex and eat pizza?
me: no
guy: What's the matter, you don't like pizza??
(Guy gets brownie points for the snappy comeback ;) guy does not get in my pants)

17. Posted by SeeTheSky (Respected Member 558 posts) 10y

haha that is pretty funny CC, aside from being creeepy, sleepy, oh so sweetly, and i've been cleaning up so neatly.

18. Posted by Rraven (Travel Guru 5924 posts) 10y

one time in italy this guy drove down the road as i was walking to the shops, he kept shouting at me to come over to the car but i had headphones on and couldn't hear a word , he pulled his car up on to the path to stop me in my tracks, then he proceeded to try to ask me out, he had no english and at that time i had very bad italian (it was only good for shouting and cheering at lazio games) , when he finally figured out he had a problem he took a dictionary out of his car and asked if i wanted to be in a porn movie as i had some assets that the camera would love, so after kneeing him which left him bent over he asked did i want to go for a drink instead !?!?! strangely enough his lines didn't work .........

19. Posted by Brendan (Respected Member 1824 posts) 10y

"Do you want to go for dinner and a movie?... and by dinner I mean have sex... and by movie I mean film it."

20. Posted by SeeTheSky (Respected Member 558 posts) 10y

persistent bugger eh raven? yea that kinda shit really gets on me nerves. it is funny as hell though. good show on kneeing him in the junk