About the "slightly older European women": reason why you do not see them in such numbers as European men in Pattaya or Phuket is that Thai men are smaller in size than Caucasians -- just a fact, not a snipe.
All the women you are talking about are in Jamaica having fun there.
Lets give the nice Thai girls a place in this thread. My Thai wife, as most Thai girls (not bar girls), feels that every foreign tourist thinks Thai girls are easy, want money and sexually active. This is very far from the truth. Here is a subject most people know little about and my Thai wife and I feel must be addressed.
I was wondering how long it'd take for a reply like the one above to show up. Of course there are "good girls" in any country. The stereotype image of Thai girls being "loose" is not without merit, however. Through my travel in Thailand, I observed some interesting concept of "sex economy". The Thai society today doesn't seem to "look down" or feel any shame about trading their "sexual talent" for money. In fact, some actually are proud of this special talent. And I am sure some would never accept it if they had another choice. The bottom line is money and it has been a disgrace to humanity that the sex industry that flourishes in Thailand does spare children. Child prostitution in Thailand, as well documented, must not be tolerated by any culture or society. But it seems like the Thai society and its government have made little effort in fighting this disgusting and disgraceful sector of their economy.
Trailbound wrote: The Thai society today doesn't seem to "look down" or feel any shame about trading their "sexual talent" for money.
As I mentioned earlier Thailand has a class structure and yes bar girls are looked down upon more so by Thai people than foreigners.
In western countries many guys (girls too)just go to a bar and try to get lucky and find a partner for the evening. If you become a regular in a bar you get very popular and partners are freely available. I was a bartender in the U.S. for several years so I have been there done that. It was a lot more sleezy with deception, a little greed and a lot of selfishness mixed in on the side of both parties. People get their feelings hurt and jealous, which can start fights etc. I have lots of stories I could tell about that. In Thailand the men (and women) know where to go and its' that simple, no deception, no bad feelings, no broken promises. I am not saying it is right but just the way it is.
Hey allthai, thanks for the post. It's great you found a nice woman this way, and I'm glad you're happy... but man, somthing about all the "testing" really rubs my Western sensibilities the wrong way. Sorry, but I don't want to endure a bunch of methodical covert testing. And I was engaged to a Japanese woman once. We were together for over 4 years when I lived in Japan. But her family practically dictated all the terms of our relationship once we got serious. She was (and still is) a wonderful person, but the situation with her family meddling was HORRIBLE and really ended up causing the demise of our relationship. If this info about how traditional Thai girls operate is accurate, then I'm glad to have read it so I know what to watch out for. But it sounds like waaaaaay too much baggage for me. But hey, it might just be me... I'm more independant than most other guys.
Thanks for all the info, I really enjoyed reading about your experiences. Congratulations on your happy union... sorry but don't really know how to put it better!
A read a book called "private dancer", can't remember who the author is, but it's a good read. Obviously fictional, but it's about a European guy who works inn Bangkok & meets a bar girl. He tries to make the relationship work like he'd expect relationships to work in his home country, but they both encounter may problems along the way. It highlights the differences, not only within cultures, but age & class.
I've read Private Dancer too, it's by Stephen Leather. I think it's based on a true story, not fictional. I spoke to a bar owner in Thailand who knows the author. It is a good read and makes you realise how Thai women think very differently to western women! It is an eye opener! You can buy it in all bookshops and places like Big C too.
As a thai woman, I feel very offended by this thread. I don't think this is issue is something to be taken lightly or as an entertaining discussion topic. However, I respect all your opinions and appreciate to learn how my fellow thais are viewed by others who have visited the country. But please allow me to share my fifty cents from within the culture. I will speak solely of bar/lounge girls in my country but please know that similar situations happen to lounge boys/men as well.
First of all, I would like to assure you that prostitution both child and adult is not legal anywhere in Thailand. Any form of monitary, favors, valubles in exchange for sex is considered sex trade aka prostitution. The shows you see on Phatphong Rd. or in Pattaya and Phuket are allowed to be there because they are supposedly "just shows". Bar and lounge girls are not to be taken home. Their job is to sit and entertain you in the bar. If she leaves with a guy, both she and the guy can be arrested, jailed, and/or fined.
Let me remind you of another fact, many of these girls are forced into prostitution and to work in these filthy environments, at least initially. Some were taken as dues because their families aren't able to pay their debts; some were lured as they were promised better job opportunities in urban areas; and some were simply kidnapped from neighboring countries or refugee camps. On many occasions, they cannot escape because they do not have the means(e.g. money, transportation, shelter, social support, help from authorities -reads corruption, protection from the pimps who are hunting them down and swear to kill their families) to do so. I'm sure you have heard of all this and, yes, it is true. I'm a clinical psychologist who has volunteered in several rehab centers where rescued or escaped girls were being treated and there were far too many of them.
These girls like foreigners(young or old, overweight or muscular, bald or hairy) because they have more money. Foreign men, to them, are symbols of better opportunities and possibilities. Possibility of moving up a social class, possibility of living abroad, having enough money to send to their families back at home, sending their child to school, or starting a new life elsewhere.
This is a serious social issue that should not be tolerated and definitely needs more attention from the Thai government and other international organizations. I agree that our government needs to wake up and take control of this issue. But we also need your help. Please please please don't support prostitution especially child prostitution in Thailand or anywhere. Anyone under the age of 18 is still considered a child. Saying that it helps our economy is not a valid excuse for this violation of human/children's rights.
Please, I beg you. Thailand has a lot more that you can enjoy during your trip.
Respectfully and thanks to you all for visiting Thailand