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Those you leave behind

Travel Forums General Talk Those you leave behind

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1. Posted by Jolo73 (Budding Member 30 posts) 10y

This is a bit of a funny one!

Im starting a RTW trip on my own on 20th April, its always been my dream but has taken me nearly 15 years to get up and do it and iv had to give up a lot to achieve it.
Iv been really surprised by the attitude of two people that I have been particulary close to since i booked my trip a couple of months ago.
Instead of wanting to make the most of the time I have left here, they have both really distanced themselves from me. I was looking forward to spending quality time with them but it just hasnt happened...
Everyone else, colleagues, college friends etc have been keen to meet up and I know that I will meet lots of wonderful new people travelling etc but I just wondered if anyone else has expeirenced anything similar?

2. Posted by Reece Sanford (Travel Guru 1368 posts) 10y

Sounds familiar.
I had a few what i regarded as very close friends before i went away in June 2005.
Well while i was away and after i got back its like ive vanished off the face of the earth.
I would email them while i was away and saw a couple of them when i got home but i never got any email replies and when i saw them face to face it was like they didnt know who i was.
I put it down to jealousy mostly.
I sold my house and decided to see the world while i could and enjoy myself yet they are still doing the same old things they will always do in the boring town we live in and they cant understand theres nothing better out there in the big wide world.
Its like they are stuck in a room and only see four walls and thats it.
It really pis*ed me off for awhile but then i thought why should i let them get to me and if they are like that then they are not real friends.
Now i realise why i got out of this boring town and so be if it ive lost those so called friends.

3. Posted by kellyb78 (Budding Member 58 posts) 10y

I agree with reece, its sound to me like its jealousy. Maybe you are in a position to do something that they would love to do and they just don't have the get up and go that you have! Real friends and people who care about you would be happy as long as your happy! Do you really need friends that are willing to cut you off or distance themselves from you? I'm sure you'll find more 'real' friends on your travels, friends that will be 'happy' for you whatever you want out of life!

4. Posted by Jolo73 (Budding Member 30 posts) 10y

Thank you all, feeling a bit brighter about it all now

5. Posted by Cupcake (Travel Guru 8468 posts) 10y

Listen to your heart are the only one that has to look at you in the mirror every morning...don't live for others, live for yourself!
You won't regret it...but they will regret never having had tried!

6. Posted by Zoom (Full Member 131 posts) 10y

People get weird when you do new things, different things, brave things.....They want you to stay in that boring hole they're in. I say F 'em !! Have a good time on your trip.....Bon Voyage.....Zoom

7. Posted by auspolak (Budding Member 36 posts) 10y

I have a sort of a similar problem. Im leaving to Travel to Europe very soon (5 Weeks to go) and the last few months i have been seeing less and less of my so called "friends". I admit i have been trying to save more money by not going out with them but they just seem not to bother with me anymore, so in a way i dont bother aswell. One of my friends i think is a bit jealous like all you say as all of a sudden he wants to travel to Europe aswell (during the time im going) and will go no matter what it takes!!! even if he needs to borrow money!!! Mind you this is coming from a man that doesnt know how to save money and talks a lot of bullshit. Goodluck anyway, i have been saving for quite a while now, aswell as planning m trip, it takes a lot more than just saying "yer im going to Europe now!!!" lol

Its amazing to see how some people react when your achieving something great or got the pure guts to step outside that boundary/comfort circle you have and do something such as travel which takes a real BOOST to sometimes get into....

Anyway as for myself, cant wait, counting down the days :-).....:)

8. Posted by tomm35 (Budding Member 47 posts) 10y

I agree, there not your freinds, there your enemies.

Who cares about them.

9. Posted by ghostdog (Full Member 142 posts) 10y

IF you think before you go people are distancing themselves-wait until you get back. A whole new set of considerations and contradictions.

10. Posted by james (Travel Guru 4136 posts) 10y

It's jealousy without a doubt.

Plus, when you plan a trip and get all excited about going somewhere, some people (so called "friends") find it confronting, because you're doing something that for whatever reason they are not doing, and they don't want to know about it.

I've had that reaction on two separate occasions. The first time was when I chucked my job in and went to university fulltime, and the second time when I went away for a few years.

They act all cool and disinterested so as to dilute your excitement. What this is intended to do is to shut you up so you don't talk about your trip. Don't give in to then; keep talking about your trip, and if they don't make the time to see you between now and your departure, then don't make the time to email them while you're away.

You're doing something with your life, they're not.