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Those you leave behind

Travel Forums General Talk Those you leave behind

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11. Posted by Reece Sanford (Travel Guru 1368 posts) 10y

Quoting ghostdog

IF you think before you go people are distancing themselves-wait until you get back. A whole new set of considerations and contradictions.

Totally agree with you there its like you dont even exist most of the time.

Ive even found it with a few people on here too.

It amazes me when you dont hear from people for awhile so you either send them an email or text message to see how they are and they say
'How are you i havent heard from you in ages'
Then a month down the line you dont hear anything from them so you ask again what have they been up to and you get the same reply
'I havent heard from you in awhile'

I feel like replying well you never bother keeping in contact unless i speak first.

12. Posted by scattman (Budding Member 21 posts) 10y

Hi everyone. Just thought to contribute to this thread. I am on the last sector of my travel here in the UK before heading for Europe. What amazes me is the amount of negatives we travellers get. Maybe its "jealousy" as some of you have put it, maybe its just a bit of "competition" in whatever way others may put it, and in some ways it could be "caring" from some of the love ones that we have to leave behind. But hey its all part of travelling. Its all part of the life experience that we all go through. And some of you have said it, this is what we all want to do. Some of us, this has always been a dream. Some of us, this has been something we want to do to prove a point. But it all comes down to our life experience. If you have to put yourself into a room with your friends who haven't travelled like you do, I guarantee you that you will be the most broadminded prson in that room. Your personality speaks of the many cultures and places that you have set foot on and your excitement is what those people would like to have. Most of all your experience is what a young person in that room would like to take with him or her.

From my side of the story, I lost friends and family before I travelled and during my travel. I have made many more friends on my travels. But typing this message, has got me thinking that I have become a better person with all my travell and even my family have acknowkedge that LIFE EXPERIENCE. So guys, dont do it for anyone else but yourself. Hope you have a good time on your travells whereever you're travelling and be safe. God bless you all.

The Scattman

13. Posted by Namaste (Budding Member 46 posts) 10y

Quoting Jolo73

Iv been really surprised by the attitude of two people that I have been particulary close to since i booked my trip a couple of months ago.Instead of wanting to make the most of the time I have left here, they have both really distanced themselves from me.

Hello,
Well, I'm glad to read this thread because now I know I'm not the only one with this feeling:(
I told everybody about a year ago that I'll be leaving for Africa for 6-12 months(overlanding and volunteering). In the meanwhile the trip is sadly postponed to 2007. My best friends weren't surprised at all because they know it's my dream. They were more surprised by the fact that I'm actually gòing for it and need to sacrifice a lot of things. Some were and are still proud and excited about it, but some consider me as a lost friend, just because they think I won't come back. They know I'm really busy preparing the whole thing and that I'm getting interested and involved in other serious issues, but just now and then they ask me about the departure date, that's all....I can feel them slipping away out of my life....
And then, family, okay, I know it's hard for a mother to hear that her only child, a daughter, leaves alone to explore the wild side of life and I cannot expect her to be excited and happy about it, but hey, at least she's got a daughter who wants to live and wants to do something different! I knew my family would be dissapointed but not that they would actually try to change my mind the way they did and I found their attitude rather selfish. And all this hurts....and sometimes yes, I wonder for who or what I should come back....nobody shares my same dream, nobody feels the same need, I'm losing the common field of interests with my friends/family and it makes me feel pretty lonesome...
BUT! I'll do my thing and nobody's going to stop me! I'll be having a hell of a great time (at least that's what I hope ) and hopefully I'll meet lot's of likeminded people! Jihaaaaaa

14. Posted by tallbird (Respected Member 269 posts) 10y

Right, I'm gonna give your friends the benefit of the doubt, Jo! What if they are distancing themselves from you, so that when you do leave they won't be as sad and lonely. If they spend a lot of time with you before you go then they'll miss you more once you're away!

I may be clutching at straws here, as when I moved over here from the UK everyone was happy for me, but I can understand if people just kind of want to pretend that you're not going!

It may be a compliment to you, them distancing themselves from you. Its just their way of coping with the fact that they'll miss you!

What do you think?

15. Posted by Namaste (Budding Member 46 posts) 10y

Quoting tallbird

It may be a compliment to you, them distancing themselves from you. Its just their way of coping with the fact that they'll miss you!

What do you think?

Well, I've been thinking about that too, and, considering the characters, it would make sense. Even though I would certainly not act that way, but then again, every person is different.....Well, I'll see who will be waiting for me at the arrival (I hope SOMEONE will !otherwise I need to take a cab ;))
I shouldn't worry that much....friends come and go.....that's life, the good friends stay, and the lost ones get replaced by....... new friends...
But I do feel much better by this thought! thx!

16. Posted by tway (Travel Guru 7273 posts) 10y

Quoting -reece-

It amazes me when you dont hear from people for awhile so you either send them an email or text message to see how they are and they say
'How are you i havent heard from you in ages'
Then a month down the line you dont hear anything from them so you ask again what have they been up to and you get the same reply
'I havent heard from you in awhile'

That happens with one of my friends a lot. I'll e-mail her and not get a reply, and then she'll call months later and say "you never call".

17. Posted by Reece Sanford (Travel Guru 1368 posts) 10y

Quoting tway

Quoting -reece-

It amazes me when you dont hear from people for awhile so you either send them an email or text message to see how they are and they say
'How are you i havent heard from you in ages'
Then a month down the line you dont hear anything from them so you ask again what have they been up to and you get the same reply
'I havent heard from you in awhile'

That happens with one of my friends a lot. I'll e-mail her and not get a reply, and then she'll call months later and say "you never call".

Oh well another 11 days and then i have 12 months of forgetting those people who dont bother speaking

18. Posted by tallbird (Respected Member 269 posts) 10y

Quoting -reece-

Oh well another 11 days and then i have 12 months of forgetting those people who dont bother speaking

Clarey, once again giving friends the benefit of the doubt, because she doesn't like to think bad of people

In my case, I get quite a few of my friends sending me emails apologising for not replying for ages and saying that the reason they haven't replied is that they have nothing interesting to write about. Apparently when I email them I tell them about the parties, the sailing ,the surfing and the travelling and any amusing stories whilst doing all of that and all they have to write about is another day in the office and watching some tv show in the evening. And whilst they love getting my emails telling them what I've been up to, they feel that I wouldn't be interested to hear about their "mundane" day, which is exactly the same as the one they described in their last email.

19. Posted by ChIqUiTtA (Respected Member 278 posts) 10y

hey Jolo!!
i know what you mean... it's always difficult for those you leave behind, but you must remember that it's hard for them to see you just take off and have the time of your life doing something that they'll probably never do. Meanwhile, they're still stuck with their regular lives (not that that's a bad thing, but it's just very much the "same"), and they can't have the same experiences that you're having, so it's a lot more difficult for them to realize that.
but as good friends to you, they should be mature enough to appreciate that their time with you is precious and they shouldn't take advantage of that... they should be happy for you and supportive of you, and if they can't manage just that, then maybe they're not the people you thought they were...:(
lauren

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