HAPPY BIRTHDAY, TINA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ah, I zee you are in Rome with zee leetle coops of cappuccino, spremuta (don't spell that one wrong!), grilled foccacia weeth tomato marmalade and zee frittata weeth salami and zee cheeses. Oh? Eet ees zee lunch time??? Ah, Isa can not tell time in Italian.
Hope you are having a wonderful trip and that your birthday is filled with exciting and unexpected adventures of the good kind!!!!
Isa hands T a pitcher of Limoncello or Cynar to help get the party started!!!!
Ia hopea youa havea nicea daya ina bella Roma!!!
Happy birthday Tina
Hope you have a good one,
another year under the belt eh!!!
Ha, I'm not going to be late for this birthday! Tina, all the best wishes from Australia. Have a great one in sunny Rome!
Happy Birthday Tina - hope you have/had a good time!
Happy birthday Tina! Hope you have a great year ahead
P.s.the LLama not named Tina or the Alpaca named Tina.
Don't spit the dummy whilst your blowing out your 102 candles
………and in a mind-bogglingly, nearly-mostly blinding flash of really really really green light, accompanied by the staccato tippity-tap of oversized, mid-thigh-length green Riverdance boots, comes Rip……..uh, wait, no, uh……hmm, right accent, wrong look, oh right…….comes…..TA DA…..BEERMAN!!!!! Yay!!!!!
Bon Giorno, Miss Wina du Chest, it is I, Beerman, here to make Happy on you on this, your second Most Happy of Happy Days (Fridays being first, yes?). So, Happy on You!!!!!! I am now to perform artistic dance interpreted from ancient race of Beermen in old country. Is passed down from old to young over many vodkas. Please to cue music…..(Ob La Di Ob La Da…)
Pose, slowly yet gracefully move arms in big circle, pose, show deep emotion, hands down to sides, LEAP into air many metres, land on café table knees first arms outstretched, wince in horrendous pain because café tables are made of iron, summersault to floor, roll into little ball of pain, LEAP back to feet because ancient Beermen are invincible, run in place, tippity-tap, tippity-tap, swing, swish, swing, perform death-defying moon walk of pain, back to artistic ballet type arms encircles over head look, imitate Swan Lake guy who gets shot by hunters, look tragic, bleed slightly, bow gracefully….
So, Chestwina-person, you are having no more needs to see Italian Opera sadnesses, yes? Is have ruined you for tragedies of life, no? Puccini? Hack, phtooie!! You will have never see pain again like this, you are seen ultimate in tragedy with Dance of Beerman. Please take moment to wipe tear from face and make reflect on poignancy of what you are have witnessed. Good, moment is over. Now on to trifles……
Please to accept this one time only offer to cherish single hair from chest wig of Beerman….authentic and autographed, one of kind, no one else is having one like. Please to contain emotion. Why you are laugh and cry at same time? Plus, you are having almost one-of-kind extended edition DVD, “Beerman: You Are Sunshine of Some Life, plus Other Stories of Selflessness and Humility”, with is bonus disc, “How Beerman is Make Impression on Everyday Life of Me”, written and directed by Beerman, a Beerman Enterprises Production. And, you are to accept these feet cut-outs for placing on floor so you may learn to dance as Beerman dances, to tune of Beatles-sung-by-Beerman, and not be of two left feets anymore. Each feet is numbered for easy following of steps. And lasts but not leasts, you may now pose next to Beerman for photo op so you may show both your friends how you have been touched by stardoms. Please to not touch massive, luxuriant, freshly oiled chest wig. Hey, ouch, why you are hitting Beerman with boats paddle? Ouch, now make nice….ow, stops, no, OW………..You are not making funny here………OW, stops, dammit, OW…….. is my head, womans, OW, please to make stops hitting Beerman, OW, why you are looking like dragon boat all of sudden? OW………
…….and in another flash of green tinged with red near-blinding light, Beerman escapes the wrath of “She-Who-Must-Not-Be-Mocked-As-Llama-Person, just as a near knock-out blow grazes Beermans head. Beerman vows to make only brief stops in Canuckistan from now on……….
Happy Birthday Tina!!!!
I hope you have a fantastic day!!!