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Have you heard the Rumour?

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931. Posted by Isadora (Travel Guru 13926 posts) 9y

Rumor has it that in all fairness, the NFL's two divisions will be renamed as well. The AFC will now be known as the Australian Fuzzy Cuddlies and the NFC will be the NorthAmerican Fighting Commandos. The head of the NFC was reported as saying they looked forward to their first game against the AFC, which will be played in the climate-controlled domed stadium in Minnesota. The AFC's head was unavailable for comment as he was too busy knitting nose cozies for the players. Seems a balmy 24C is considered sub-zero temps for the players from "down under".

No New Zealanders will be allowed to play for the Fuzzy Cuddlies because they won't stop flapping their arms and keep dropping feathers all over the field.

932. Posted by Jase007 (Travel Guru 8870 posts) 9y

Rumour has it that the feathers the kiwi's have been dropping all over the field are now being picked up by the american players and are being used to tickle each other.
Meanwhile the Aussies have been engaged in a battle to the death to see who gets to take the PS3 home.

933. Posted by beerman (Respected Member 1631 posts) 9y

Rumor has it that a medical breakthrough has been achieved.

Dateline: 26 Oct 2006
"Biomedical researchers at the University of Surrey, UK, have determined the source of "genetic dampening" that has been occurring in and around certain neighborhoods of Surrey. Through exhaustive DNA sampling at pubs, in public urinals, 2 rather dodgy streetwalkers, 4 winos, and a cow, scientists have determined that the gene pool has been tremendously diluted by genetic material imported from several small islands in the western Pacific Ocean. The dilution has caused rampant interest in oil exploration, and a new phenomenon known as "scrumming", whereas participants reputedly "scrum" by gathering in circles and sodomizing one another until a small oblate ball is ejected from the group. These behaviors have shocked the Surrey Towne Council into passing anti-immigration laws prohibiting the dissemination of personal genetic material in public. Particularly by Western Pacificers. Parents have been advised to watch their children carefully for any signs of exposure, and farmers have been asked to report any signs of "fowl play".
End of story. For full details, contact SkyNews.

934. Posted by Jase007 (Travel Guru 8870 posts) 9y

Just in:
The latest rumour from the USA has MacDonalds golden arches being the flag replacement for the stars and stripes, the national anthem will also be changed to "i'm lovin it".
Nothern states within the union have asked to be "set free" from this madness. They have pleaded with Canada to become part of their national in a bit to have a 'proper' Queen as head of sate rather than the one they voted in office.

935. Posted by beerman (Respected Member 1631 posts) 9y

Quoting Jase007

Just in:
The latest rumour from the USA has MacDonalds golden arches being the flag replacement for the stars and stripes, the national anthem will also be changed to "i'm lovin it".
Nothern states within the union have asked to be "set free" from this madness. They have pleaded with Canada to become part of their national in a bit to have a 'proper' Queen as head of sate rather than the one they voted in office.

No, see, that's all true. But the National Anthem will be: "Oh Canada, I'm lovin' it". And Pierre Trudeau is dead.

936. Posted by beerman (Respected Member 1631 posts) 9y

Rumor has it there is a shake-up in the Royal Family. The Queen, tired of Prince "Beat Me, Whip Me, Make Me Wear A Saddle" Charles and his alternative lifestyle, has deported him to Wellington, NZ. He is reported to have been welcomed with open arms by the locals, who refer to him as HM Honey-Buns.

937. Posted by Jase007 (Travel Guru 8870 posts) 9y

Rumour has it that Microsoft is to be put in charge of the goverment and will now collect all taxes.
The new US president Bill Gates has decreed that all citizens will be made to wear the same wolly jumpers as Ned Flanders.

938. Posted by beerman (Respected Member 1631 posts) 9y

Rumor has it that Richard Branson has purchased the UK and has elected himself Supreme Emperor For Life. All citizens must now change their names to Dick Virgin.....

939. Posted by Jase007 (Travel Guru 8870 posts) 9y

Rumour has it that the United states has been sold to a Mexican for the sum of $1.02c and a shot of Tequila.
His first declaration as new owner is to make all people living there illegal aliens and they must wear sombrero's

940. Posted by beerman (Respected Member 1631 posts) 9y

Quoting Jase007

Rumour has it that the United states has been sold to a Mexican for the sum of $1.02c and a shot of Tequila.
His first declaration as new owner is to make all people living there illegal aliens and they must wear sombrero's

No es verdad. Es totalmente incorrecto. La gente y el Gobierno de Los Estados Unidos de Mexico no estan interesante en los estados del Norte como Wisconsin, Illinois, Minnejota, y Meecheegan, porque son tan frios en el invierno....brrrrr.

Llevarnos los estados en el Sur, como California y Arizona, donde las mujeres tienen grandes tetas y quieren hombres.

Y entonces, dominamos todo el mundo en futbol!!!! GGOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL........

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