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Have you heard the Rumour?

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971. Posted by Purdy (Travel Guru 3546 posts) 9y

After suffering for years Northern Irish Communities have pulled rank against one foe - Celine Dion - the fact that she is in Surrey is considered too close for comfort.... As we speak anti Celine Dion weaponry are primed and ready to blast off at a moments notice.......

972. Posted by Jase007 (Travel Guru 8870 posts) 9y

Quoting beerman

Rumor has it that a petite Montrealer has turned up in Surrey (somewhere in the Heart of Darkness, UK) in search of rogue Kiwis. Police have been notified that she is brandishing snowballs and a boombox filled with Celine Dion music. This threat should be considered credible, as Celine Dion can kill at 145 meters...

miles don't you mean !!!!!!!
Rumours persist that the elusive kiwi has managed to shack up with the playboy pets for 2006. seems he has been smiling ever since.
Another rumour has it that australia has decided that the winter chill now hitting the northern part of the world is too cold, hence the decision to roam towards a warmer climate - last seen off the coast of africa. reports have is that a chunk of brazil is now sitting off the coast of Nigeria are still to be confirmed.

973. Posted by james (Travel Guru 4136 posts) 9y

I heard that the movie "Free Willy" was named after Jase's free willy

[ Edit: Edited at Nov 1, 2006 6:23 PM by james ]

974. Posted by tway (Travel Guru 7273 posts) 9y

Rumour has it that the rumour about Canuckistanis and Celine Dion is wildly exaggerated. Rumour has it that, in fact, Celine Dion was traded to the US in exchange for Garth Brooks, who was promptly made to walk Sussex Drive in his underwear chanting "I'll never sing that crap again" to the tune of "Livin' Lovin' Maid". Kiwis are said to be organizing a protest to get Garth back into country action.

975. Posted by beerman (Respected Member 1631 posts) 9y

Rumor has it that rugby in the NZ has become "sissified". An arrest was made last night at a dodgy Aukland nightspot known as "The Bottomless Pit". Rangers coach Bernie Perenara was wrestled to the ground by the canine squad (a geriatric poodle) when customers complained that his outfit for the evening, a stylish strapless mid-calf royal blue and green frock, clashed with nearly everyone else's. The coach attempted to subdue the canine squad with a size 14 orange satin pump but was repelled by a squirt of Elizabeth Taylors "White Diamonds".

Meanwhile, in the USA, officials of the National Football League were quoted as saying: "Yup".

976. Posted by Isadora (Travel Guru 13926 posts) 9y

Rumor has it that Celine Dion has purchased Las Vegas and will be converting the whole city into one large daycare center toddlers, teetotalers, and bingo players over the age of 75. Garth Brooks will be the headliner nightly, crooning those beloved show-stoppers such as "When the Saints Come Marching In" (backed by the New Orleans Saints Football Jazz Band), "Give Me That Old Time Religion", "Room At The Cross For You" and "It's A Small World After All".

Upon hearing this news, the NZ rugby team grabbed their showgirl costumes and feathered boas. Last seen, they were boarding the plane to Las Vegas, accompanied by Rangers' coach Bernie Perenara (minus his orange pumps), who had recently been released from the Aukland jail.

977. Posted by Isadora (Travel Guru 13926 posts) 9y

It is rumored that while the Rogue Kiwi was shacked up with the Playboy Pets of 2006, his officemates took advantage of the situation. Upon returning to work to collect his paycheck, the Rogue Kiwi found his desk was now in the middle of the room and all the other desks circled around it. Seems the Rogue Kiwi had been behaving himself too long which caused suspicion to run rampant around the workplace.

Without collecting his paycheck, the Rogue Kiwi disappeared and has not been seen since. Rumor has it that if you check under his desk, you'll see him with that "deer caught in the headlights" look permanently entrenched upon his face. The Broadmoor Asylum for the Criminally Insane will be collecting him shortly.

978. Posted by tway (Travel Guru 7273 posts) 9y

Rumour as it that what happens at Rogue Kiwi stays at Rogue Kiwi. Rumour also has it that the Asylum is presently full on account of the "deer in the headlights" convention out on Autoroute 6.

979. Posted by tway (Travel Guru 7273 posts) 9y

A second rumour has it that Mikey may in fact be back disguised as "PornRabbit". It would explain the carrots scattered all over System talk.

980. Posted by Isadora (Travel Guru 13926 posts) 9y

Quoting tway

A second rumour has it that Mikey may in fact be back disguised as "PornRabbit". It would explain the carrots scattered all over System talk.

Oops - I just deleted Mikey!!!!!