TP Birthday Minion: "Hello, operator? I'm trying to place a call to one....Beerman. Yes, that
Operator: "Yes, I can place that call."
TP Birthday Minion: "Thank you operator, I think it's a Cayman Islands extension."
Operator: "Thank you. Hold please"
Bbrrrriiiiinnnnggg. Brrrrriiiinnnggggg. Brrrriiiiinnnnngggg. Brrrrrrriiiinnnnnggggg.
Yes, who is. Beerman is not awake yet. Beerman is hungover from own birthday celebrations. What is you are wanting? What? Beerman is having missed day of happy for cat? Oh, not cat, woman person? I am seeing. Yes, Beerman is on way............
...........and in a not really at all blinding flash of green light, Beerman stumbles into a small flat on the good side of Belfast, barely able to hold himself upright, yet still able to dance........
Haaaallllooooooo, Miss Purdy cat person you, it is I, Beerman, here to make happy on you on this, your two days after your Most Happy of Happy Days!!!! TA DA!!!!!!! Now please to stand back, as Beerman is somewhat wobbly from two days of Happiness for himself.........
Leap into air, land back on plush carpeted floor, wobble backwards, swing arms around to maintain balance, fall back onto coffee table, frighten cat, peel frightened cat off forehead, fling cat into air to perform triple somersault of Happy, catch cat claws first with nose, dance Happy waltz with cat firmly attached to face with 20 claws, scream softly as blood trickles down face, detach cat from face, twist, twirl, swing........TA DA!!!!!!!!!!
- Gasp, grunt, gasp*...... So, Miss Purdy person you, you are make impressed with dance of cat, yes? Beerman has love with cat persons. And cats. Cats are loving Beerman too, yes? Please to take word for it. Is true, is not always seeming so, but is true. Is amazing, yes, how cat mysteriously disappear, no? So, please to accept fecking big pile of gifts from Collection of Beerman, Belfast Edition. First, please to accept complimentary matching faux chest wigs for you and cat person, made from only finest 100% pure llama hairs. Is made for nights on town for you and special feline person in life, for to have others impressed by fashion sense. Is good for picking up opposite sexes in bars too. Next, this autographed copy of "Beerman: A Guide to Surviving Life with Beer and Cats, Edition Two, with chapters on proper etiquette for making quaff with Guinness and not passing out. And most valuable of all, this especially valuable guide on travel written by no less an authority than Beerman himself, "How to Make Travel on Budget of Slave", written for peoples who are making life on islands where Guinness is made, inclusive of Caribbean and Isle of Emerald. And Canada.
Now if you please to point me in general direction of doctor place, Beerman is needing many of stitches and telephone thingy. Beerman must make call to TP Birthday Minion to make explain that she is not at all for to make blame for lateness of Beerman weeshes, is all on Beerman. You are having some aspirin maybe? And a Coke? Beerman's stomach is little queazy from dance of Happy with cat and bleeding. I am thanking you.
.......and in a slightly nauseated flash of green and red light, Beerman is gone, leaving behind stunned crowds of dogs, wondering why cat got off so easy...........
Happy of Late Days to you!!!!!!
HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY, PURDY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ah - I have been exonerated from the forgetting part of your birthday!!! Beerman said I should not worry about such things as you two share such a wonderful day... He would take care of the posting part - HA! I say HA! It took awhile, but I was able to get his hungover ass off the couch to post - be it a tad on the late side... Apologies for that!!!!! Has the cat come out of hiding yet? If not - give Purdy (the cat) a few days and a fresh tin of tuna. It will heal all wounds - even those psychological ones - maybe - time will tell....
Isa hands Purdy an extra pitcher of papayatinis in hopes she will be forgiven for this transgression of waiting on Beerman. She also supplies Purdy with all the Guinness she can drink - well, maybe... Isa has heard Purdy can handle her liquor and is cautious...
Here's hoping you had a wonderful birthday celebration in Beijing and catch up on some sleep! You're going to need it! You have several threads waiting for you!
Happy happy happy birthday Miss Purdy !!!
Happy birdy Miss Purdy!
Hope it was a GREAT one.
Seems to be a glut of May/June birthdays.
Thank you all - lve decided l will not huff and be adult about you all forgetting my birthday!! Im also wide wake and doing laundry - have been up since 5am!!
Yes James June is a month which has spawned many great people!!!
Had a lovely day in Beijing - woke up to find a interloper at the bottom of my hotel bed - there was a Panda (albeit stuffed!!) in a red chinese jacket perched at the bottom of my bed with a card! So far so good!
We then decided we would not go to the Summer Palace as thought (went next day!!) and instead went bartering!!! I had a great time - arguing and haggling - man those little chinese ladies have a strong grip!!
We then went to Pennisula Palace late afternoon (under the guise of having afternoon tea listening to the string quartet!! HA) where l was bought a wonderful Tiffany bangle! Then we quaffed wine and cocktails (well it was the first glass of cold white wine ld had all week it had been beer the rest of the time!! And at 5 yuan (around 40p) who can blame me!!) and spent a fortune on a bottle of wine, singapore sling and 2 beers!!
Swaying slightly as we left (and l could not get other half to take his credit card into Louis Vuitton so he wasnt that drunk!!) we went back to our cheap hotel and changed for dinner - we thought we would have a Peking Duck meal - but inebreiated as we were food was not ranking highly on our lists of things to do!
So we walked down the night market and watched in horror as little kids munched scorpions whilst trying to assure me it tasted like chicken!! We ended up in that salubrious of joints KFC (yes Colonel Saunders is in Beijing!) for a healthy chicken burger and fries!!!!!
Still l had a lovely time and l had a wonderful handbag waiting on me when l got home last night too.
I think the cat will survive and after a few months of therapy she may become a shadow of her oldself!!!
Purdy, wish you a happy belated birthday !
Happy belated Birthday PURDY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
HAPPY belated BIRTHDAY, PURDY!!!
Hope you had a great one!
Happy birthday, Heather! Sounds like you had a wonderful time. No worries - you'll be gone again in a flash! Well, a summer and a flash...
Hope you had a wonderful, wonderful time! Enjoy that fabulous weather you're having over there - lucky duckies.
A very happy birthday to you, Purdy!!! (and welcome back too...)