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Travel Forums General Talk frustrations

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1. Posted by indio (Budding Member 84 posts) 10y

Just need to get rid of some frustrations. I'm off to Thailand, Cambodia and Laos at the end of July for 1.5 months. I finally managed to book a ticket when I got a big tax rebate earlier in the year, otherwise my travelling have been limited recently as I'm a student.
After a few months my friend asked if she could come along and i agreed as I thought that it would after all be nice with some company though i had been looking forward to going on my own, but obviously her coming along meant change of plans as she had some things that she really wanted to do. Anyway, 2 weeks ago my whole world fell apart as my boyfriend and i finally decided to split up as the whole long distance relationship thing was bringing us down too much.(he lives in England and i live in denmark) anyway a few days after my friend(who is a friend of both of us) informed me that she all of a sudden wasn't sure if she wanted to come along anyway, but that she hadn't made up her mind yet. I don't have a problem by going on my own, but what really makes me angry is that she hasn't let me know yet what she is gonna do, so she tells me just to replan my trip as if I'm going on my own and if she does decide to come along we can just go by the original plan. Besides that she uses my partner's and my break up as an excuse by saying that she is finding it awkward to be inbetween us (though we're are still the best of friends and are trying to sort out this whole thing and don't involve her in our problems)
so now I've made up my mind that I don't want her to come along at all which will obviously ruin our friendship if she decides that she wants to go afterall. I don't know if I'm being to harsh, but I really don't wanna be messed around with 4 weeks before i'm due to go on a trip I've been looking forward to for so long.
Has anybody ever been in the same situation? I'm just sick and tired of people not keeping their promises and expecting you to put everything aside and to wait for them to make up their mind about things! Sorry about this angry thread, just needed to get some frustrations out!

2. Posted by tway (Travel Guru 7273 posts) 10y

Use your breakup as an excuse that you need to be alone for awhile. If you think you're having a rough patch with your friend before your tip, just wait till you start travelling! Hoo boy! Put your peace of mind first. A friend will understand that.

3. Posted by indio (Budding Member 84 posts) 10y

Yeah you're right and that's why I don't want to go with her if she does decide to travel. Think I've got enough problems as it is
I have travelled with people before so I know how much it takes of a friendship.
Ah well, I can go and find myself again in the calm buddhist culture... don't suppose they have nunneries down there, but maybe that would be an idea?? ;)

4. Posted by mikeyBoab (Travel Guru 5077 posts) 10y

You're supposed to go away to get away from things, not to bring your baggage along. Get away on your own for a while . . .

5. Posted by Fern1 (Full Member 53 posts) 10y

Your "friend" is not being genuine, you have every right to go ahead with your planning , by the sound of it, it would seem to be that you would be better off without her, if she's that inconsiderate.

6. Posted by Lush88 (Full Member 66 posts) 10y

Life is too short to worry about other people's indecisiveness! (Did i spell that right..?)
You should stick to your original plan and get out there and have the time of your life....enjoy all the experiences of meeting new people and seeing new and wonderful things....
A good friend should understand your reasons for going and not judge you by them.

I too have been in a long distance relationship for two years, but now currently made the huge move to OZ to be with my boyfriend. It was the hardest decision ive ever made, leaving family and friends behind. But we made it work, so i understand your frustrations and how emotional it can all get!!

Wonderful things await you...enjoy your trip

7. Posted by snatterand (Travel Guru 454 posts) 10y

Just do what she says, plan the trip as if she (it is a she, isn't it?) is not comming with you. If she decides to travel anyway, maybe you can make it seperate trips and just meet up somewhere along the way - if you feel like it? I don't know, it's a hard one. Especially since you actually wanted to travel alone in the first place. I agree with tway that if you guys aren't 100% agreed before going, it's gonna be a pain as soon as you're out there travelling!!!


8. Posted by indio (Budding Member 84 posts) 10y

So I have done what i needed to do, I told my "friend" that I want to travel on my own regardless of what she decides. Well I have wanted to for a long time, but it's not the easiest thing to do when you know that you're probably gonna lose a friendship by doing it. She took it ok I guess, but probably mostly because I have a feeling that she really didn't wanna go, but was battling with herself still... after all £600 is a lot of money to lose! I still don't understand why she doesn't wanna go. Who in their right frame of mind would say no to a trip to SE Asia esp AFTER they have paid for the trip?? Maybe she got cold feet.. she hasn't travelled before!?
Hmm... well thank you all for listening to me moaning and for the advices, they were really helpfull and I feel better about the whole thing, though my broken heart is still broken, but I suppose only time can mend that!

9. Posted by rach8645 (Inactive 62 posts) 10y

Chin up chick

Grab yourself a blog - keep her informed of where you are and keep the door open for her to join you - I am sure she'll come around seriously lifes too short and your right its hard now but time's a healer and travellings the best way to get over the past couple of your months...

The friends you make travelling arent long history friends - but you share something so powerful it'll seem a million miles away soon and you can put it behind you.

Leave it on as good as terms you can for both your sakes and get out there...

;) it'll all come round and you'll see what all this meant when you get time to yourself. Ive been through a very similar thing with a lad and he's now back in touch so its not all bad... :)

Good luck and have fun...

10. Posted by Jerrycrow (Full Member 165 posts) 10y

since you are in a bad mood over the breakup, maybe you need some time alone. she might remind you of him if she were to come along. then again, she might be a shoulder to cry on, if she decided to come along. during breakups, it is best to have friends to help you through it. but sometimes, a long trip in a foreign place will astound you with its uniqueness that you would forget the breakup during your trip.