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A new job for Beerman?

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101. Posted by Cupcake (Travel Guru 8468 posts) 10y

Quoting Isadora

Cupcake - You will be in charge of raiding their snackbar. Yes, you can keep 25% of the chocolate you find.

Okmmmmffffmmmm Captain, as soon as I mmmmffmmmmgggghhhhfinish looking for the aforementionedmmmmggmmmgfffffffchocolate, I will let you mmmggmgggfffffffffffffffmmmmmmmm :)
(25% my ass, finders keepers BABY!!!!!)

102. Posted by Jase007 (Travel Guru 8870 posts) 10y

Where is the first port of call?
I seem to have made a big dent in the booze and i think we need some more

103. Posted by Purdy (Travel Guru 3546 posts) 10y

REPORTING BACKNo Mikey lm not snitching!!!!!!!!!!

Just to report back to our ever magnificent King and Queen:

PARDUSHOPPER I cant read his writing so l dont know what he is documenting!
MIKEY Has disappeared - he has left his post as flag at the moment we are sailing flagless - l will whip him when he surfaces
Rraven: Nikki would not return - she was making too much money in the pole dancing club and found it to be a better career move than that of dishing out uniforms in a priate ship - l think she felt unappreciated down there in the stores. Again she soon came back in line once l whipped her and is back down in stores!
James & Jase: Wouldnt stop being lecherous in the afore mentioned pole dancing club - were seen with all the profits of the pillaging sticking it into g-strings of the pole dancing ladies (well bar Nikki lm not sure if they all were ladies!!!) further more - when l got my whip out they enjoyed that FAR too much! The eventually rolled up on board LATE drunk with an empty keg of guiness and a traffic cone.
Cupcake: is currently in the sick bay from over indulgence of chocolate - she is covered in the stuff it has melted all over her and she has a pile which she insists on sitting and and will not let anyone near her to treat her or to get near the chocolate - actually she is in quartine with the vicious animals if anyone goes anywhere near the chocolate she bears her teeth viciously and threatens to attack. We are monitoring the situation! I had to get a new whip also as she ripped my old one to shreads with her bear hands - all l did was ask for a square of chocolate!!
Coco-Chloe: poor girl was only trying to assist Cupcake - l doubt she will ever be the same again she is in the mental ward/padded room below decks rocking back and forth dementedly and muttering something about chocolate.
Q: he went on land raided a KFC and is currently burning the bargain buckets in order and praying to the god Colonel Saunders in order to bring CC under control and bring Coco-Chloe back to the land of virtual sanity - he will be working all night long and has no time to play with nurse who has unfortunately been mislead we think with the disappeared Mikey.
Tway: has been listening to Beatles music all night long driving us round the twist and has consumed all the alcohol on board. She is currently giggling to herself wrapped around the music system and will not let anyone near her. She is being VERY naughty.

I trust all is in order for King Beerman & Queen Isa.

This is QA Purdy over and out!!

(lm off work today and instead of cleaning the bedrooms lm doing this instead!!)

[ Edit: Edited at Jul 12, 2006 3:45 AM by Purdy ]

104. Posted by Isadora (Travel Guru 13926 posts) 10y

Thank you very much for the report QA Purdy!!!!! Right! Well, it does seem that we have a bit of rampant insubordination ongoing, but this soon will be rectified. Since it is Wednesday, Purdy is again in charge of beatings and whippings. Organize a search party consisting of the crew members who are still relatively mentally intact to find Mikey and Raven. Raven is not only in charge of uniforn distribution, but is also the ship's entertainment director. And, we need our flag back! No self-respecting pirate ship sails without their flag!

Our next port of call will be St. Louis, where any necessary hangings will take place from the Arch. There's such a lovely view of the Mighty Mississippi from that height. (No Purdy, you don't need to climb the Arch.) I expect all to be back with Mikey and Raven by the time I have reported to the King and plotted our course down the river. (Those unscrupulous lock-keepers may be trouble. We must avoid being boarded at all costs!)

Tway, queue up Girl From Ipanema!!!!

New orders will be forthcoming...

105. Posted by Jase007 (Travel Guru 8870 posts) 10y

Queen Isa, there may be a bit of a delay in finding them.
James and I have a tip off that they are in another pole dancing club, so we're off to see if it's true.
But we are a bit skint after the last one and wondered if we could get an advancement on the looting to tie us over?

106. Posted by Purdy (Travel Guru 3546 posts) 10y

Mikey is back he was holed up with a nurse somewhere doing l do not know what! He got ten lashes for leaving his post!

Rraven came back kicking and screaming (we had to install a pole for her in stores) which now that lm thinking about it could incorporated into her entertainment schedule.

Jase - dont you and James even THINK about going near another pole dancing club - you will have us bankrupt. And dont think lm going to whip you l saw the smiles on your faces the last time.

107. Posted by Jase007 (Travel Guru 8870 posts) 10y

Quoting Purdy

Mikey is back he was holed up with a nurse somewhere doing l do not know what! He got ten lashes for leaving his post!

Rraven came back kicking and screaming (we had to install a pole for her in stores) which now that lm thinking about it could incorporated into her entertainment schedule.

Jase - dont you and James even THINK about going near another pole dancing club - you will have us bankrupt. And dont think lm going to whip you l saw the smiles on your faces the last time.

Good to hear all are back safely.
But we need to visit the club to investigate what type of pole to get Rraven - it's for the good of the crew you know ;)

108. Posted by Purdy (Travel Guru 3546 posts) 10y

Mmmm the crew being you and James l suspect!

Anyway dont you forget as its Wednesday l am in charge of issuing orders bossing around and whipping!!

You can visit the club for 1 hour (one hour only) you can look but not touch - therefore NO pillaging treasures will be handed over (cant the King has them keys to the treasure room and he is resting his royal priate head), and the proviso is that you bring me back a couple of kegs of Magners cider so that l can sit on deck, whip in hand and have a drink whilsts issuing directives..............

Now go!

109. Posted by Jase007 (Travel Guru 8870 posts) 10y

Yippee !!!
See you in a couple of days, opps sorry in an hour, damn i've lost my watch ........

110. Posted by Purdy (Travel Guru 3546 posts) 10y

Dont forget the ciddddddddddderrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr ------

Jase and James run like the wind down the gang plank and disappear out of sight. Purdy wonders if it may well have been an awful mistake to let them go to this club............ Purdy shaking head goes to the whip trunk and brings out the ultimate whip - THE CAT O NINE TAILS. The countdown is on 58 minutes and 21 seconds until they should be back............

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