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A new job for Beerman?

Travel Forums Off Topic A new job for Beerman?

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241. Posted by Jase007 (Travel Guru 8870 posts) 10y

Well, i think we need a good scrubber on board

242. Posted by Jase007 (Travel Guru 8870 posts) 10y

So I take it the crew have still not made it back.
Off to rape and pillage then, i'm sur i saw a truch full of Jet Ski's somewhere .....

243. Posted by Jase007 (Travel Guru 8870 posts) 10y

Has anyone seen my floozie?
I left her on board and now she's gone

244. Posted by Isadora (Travel Guru 13926 posts) 10y

Serves you right for leaving her on board... Look under the ship...

245. Posted by Isadora (Travel Guru 13926 posts) 10y

Mikey, report for your new duty as maidenhead. Jase's floozy was uncooperative and we had to "let her go", so to speak...

246. Posted by Jase007 (Travel Guru 8870 posts) 10y

Sorry, i'll just have to off and find another couple.
Now any chance I can borrow the whip?;)

247. Posted by Isadora (Travel Guru 13926 posts) 10y

Quoting Jase007

Sorry, i'll just have to off and find another couple.
Now any chance I can borrow the whip?;)

No, you don't get to borrow the whip. But, here are a few strips of leather - braid your own. It might keep your hands occupied and off the floozies for awhile. Besides, we are leaving New Orleans shortly - like within the hour. Seems that the crew has wreaked such havoc that the city counsel thought another hurricane had passed through. We have been banned from returning to port. Now that's the type of ransacking that we like to see from the crew!!

We will be setting a course south toward the Caribbean. All hands on deck now to report on the plunder. Where's that documentarian? He needs to make the list of all the items as they come on board. And someone find the witch doctor. He has some explaining to do...

248. Posted by Jase007 (Travel Guru 8870 posts) 10y

Reporting for sailing, Bootie haul is as follows:

5 x Floozies -
2 x Norweigan ,
1 x hispanic
1 x Irish
and 1 x Pol.

2 x Motor -x bikes
4 x jet ski (just adds to the raiding bonus at sea )
and a shed load of booze
10 000 litre Guinness
5 000 litre Baylies
15 000 litre Martini mix
25 000 litres Finest Beer (various brews).
5 x packets of pork scratchings
20 x bags of cheese and onion crisps
10 x packets of unsalted peanuts
253 x 5 Litre tubs of speadable chocolate ;)
15 x Pizzas - florentina
1 x X-box360 + 50games
15 x rind stone encrusted whips
5 x sets fluffy handcuffs
1 x 48-inch plasma TV with full surround sound.
1 x chess board (one rook missing)
8 x printed T-shirts
5 x sets silk sheets
2 x pairs of Ray Ban sunglasses
1 x digital movie camera
15 x digital cameras

249. Posted by Isadora (Travel Guru 13926 posts) 10y

Well done Jase! But, 3 of those floozies have to go. I know you will be hardpressed to choose which ones to boot, but there's only so much room in your cabin. Regulations do not allow that many per room. We're filled to capacity as it is.

250. Posted by Q' (Travel Guru 1987 posts) 10y

Yeah, yeah, yeah....the witchdoctor is comin' ....I've gathered all the supplies we need:

5 lb eye of newt
16 lb horn of toad
20 ounces of faery dust
27 heads of chickens
8 gal of blood from said chickens
4 lb old hag's hair
200 ounces of iguana spit
17 extra large family sized KFC buckets
....blah blah blah....witchdoctor is tired of making list.
witchdoctor has everything ....let's go.