Ave booked to go travelling for a year along with 2 mates, leaving in 8 weeks time. Am leavin my girlfriend of 3 & half yrs behind as her work commitments dont allow her to leave.
I try to think about the positive things that this break will bring for us and how it will make/break our relationship. I am finding it hard already just thinking about how hard our last few days together will be and how hard it'll be for her still at home when am away.
This trip is my dream and ave waited a long time for it + the opportunity has come at the exact right time for me to go so I will not pull out.
has anyone been in similar situations and wot did u do/what happened in the end??
Hi babe, I know how hard it is for you and what's going through your head. I've been through it myself. 9 weeks ago I booked to go to Oz at the end of Sept. I booked it with the same attitude, this is my opportunity to do it, I have the money and the time is right for me. I had been with my other half for a year and a half, and thought the same thing, it would make or break us. It broke us. I'm only going for 3 months and I'm doing it alone so I know the circumstances are different. I think we had our own problems before, he never talked to me, listened to me, compromised, take me out, make me feel sexy and now he regrets it. I'm finding it so hard now because he's promising me everything but he's pushed me away so far I don't think I can get the spark back. Although me planning to go away didn't necessarily break us up, it did cause him to push me away, and it was agony thinking, how could I leave him at the airport etc. It was never going to be easy but we did trust each other completely. He just didn't treat me right. The point I want to make is don't regret your decision. What ever happens happens, if you trust each other, love each other and are honest with each other you can work through it. I wish you all the best of luck. I hope it doesn't turn out for you the way it did for me but this is a once in a life time opportunity for us and I don't regret my decision. Make sure you don't and follow your heart. Email me if you need anyone to speak to in future. Manda xxx
My b/f and I live on opposite sides of the ocean, and we've managed to make it through one bout of 7 monhs apart and another of 8 over the last 3 years. It's not easy, but e-mail and phone calls help tremendously and so deos the occassional old-fashioned package by mail. It's aways hardest in the week or two leading up to the time one has to go home, but I've honestly always felt perfectly OK with being physically apart for so long. I'm happy knowing he's following his path right now, and he's happy knowing I'm doing things I need to do. e have a goal to work for, and the sacrifice is more than worth it. I've come to believe the old addage that, if you love someone, you have to set them free.
Your girlfriend sounds very understanding and happy to see you following your dreams. Take that as your first big sign that you're both on the right track.
I agree with Tina. My boyfriend and I used to spend long bouts apart. The longest being 5 months. I was the one that had to stay in the UK due to uni commitments and he went off to South America with a friend. The couple of days before he left were the worst and then probably the first week he was gone, but after that you easily get back into your own routine and get on with life. I was happy with the thought that he was fulfilling a dream.
Other bouts of spending time apart have been due to me travelling or being posted abroad for a while and he was happy with me doing that too.
The worst thing either of us can ever imagine is resenting one another for standing in the way of our personal dreams.
Look at it this way, if you are still together once you get back, then obviously you have a strong relationship worth holding on to. If you unfortunately split up then it probably wasn't a very strong relationship anyway and you would probably end up going your sepaprate ways eventually.
Enjoy your trip and enjoy spending lots of time with your girlfriend on your return (Ps: letters, emails and a couple of presents always help!)
thanks girls...i appreciate the advise/support.
we've been thru a lot of difficult times before so am more than optimistic we'll be able to stick this one out too.