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1. Posted by Hien (Moderator 3906 posts) 10y

New terrorist sect - Al-gebra

NEW YORK -- A public school teacher was arrested today at John F. Kennedy International Airport as he attempted to board a flight while in possession of a ruler, a protractor, a set square, a slide rule and a calculator.

At a morning press conference, Attorney General Alberto Gonzales said he believes the man is a member of the notorious Al-gebra movement. He did not identify the man, who has been charged by the FBI with carrying weapons of math instruction.

"Al-gebra is a problem for us," Gonzales said. "They desire solutions by means and extremes, and sometimes go off on tangents in search of absolute values. They use secret code names like 'x' and 'y' and refer to themselves as 'unknowns', but we have determined they belong to a common denominator of the axis of medieval with coordinates in every country. As the Greek philanderer Isosceles used to say, 'There are 3 sides to every triangle'."

When asked to comment on the arrest, President Bush said, "If God had wanted us to have better weapons of math instruction, He would have given us more fingers and toes."

White House aides told reporters they could not recall a more intelligent or profound statement by the President.

Press photo

2. Posted by marlis (Travel Guru 1167 posts) 10y


Marlis

3. Posted by mikeyBoab (Travel Guru 5077 posts) 10y

My goodness they're a calculating lot. It's all starting to add up . . .

4. Posted by Pardus (Respected Member 2356 posts) 10y

They are the sum of all fear...

5. Posted by james (Travel Guru 4136 posts) 10y

I'm sure they'll get to the denominator of it

6. Posted by mikeyBoab (Travel Guru 5077 posts) 10y

They're obviously trying to divide and conquer.

7. Posted by Pardus (Respected Member 2356 posts) 10y

They must be stopped before they multiply...

8. Posted by Jase007 (Travel Guru 8870 posts) 10y

Bet they are counting on that reaction...

9. Posted by mikeyBoab (Travel Guru 5077 posts) 10y

These animals are the root of all our troubles.

10. Posted by Brendan (Respected Member 1824 posts) 10y

Thanks for bringing this news to light Hien! I will be on the look out for any holders of math instruction materials. Now that you mention it I think my neigbor was in his backyard working on math problems, I will be sure to call CSIS.