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Jase and Mikey one-liner thread

Travel Forums Off Topic Jase and Mikey one-liner thread

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31. Posted by mikeyBoab (Travel Guru 5077 posts) 10y

Fair enough then.

Did anyone see GMTV this morning - the story about the mums passing junk food through the school gates inprotest at kids being made to eat healthy food?

32. Posted by Jase007 (Travel Guru 8870 posts) 10y

I saw a bit on the news, "giving the kids a choice" wasn't it that the mothers were saying.
I thought kids were supposed to do as instructed until they were big enough to get out and earn their own money.
Yet again the gutless parents will be blaming everyone else apart from themselves for have fat,lazy, unruley and unhealthy kids on their hands. It seems to me that old Jamie Oliver (the prat that he is) has done a really good thing trying to do something about the state of the fat,lazy little shites. WWhat thanks does he and all the others involved in trying to get a balanced diet into them - nothing but two fingures and stupid parents saying that "oh, but it's their choice what to eat".
Well, true enough. But the state shouldn't have to pick up the tab.
What do you think of it?

33. Posted by Pardus (Respected Member 2356 posts) 10y

I thought this was a one-liner thread?

Woad is a natural dye-stuff that gives you blue colour and was supposedly used by the Pictish Tribes of Scotland for their body paint (and it's also mildly hallucinogenic). But that is disputed by many scholars today. It's also shown in Braveheart as being used by the Scots to paint their faces (which is utter nonsense, as far as I know).

34. Posted by Jase007 (Travel Guru 8870 posts) 10y

It's Mikey and my thread we can do what we like
As for the blue paint, the paddies were just jellous as all the make-up they had was peat ;)

35. Posted by Pardus (Respected Member 2356 posts) 10y

No need for jealousy, since Scotland was actually colonised by Irish tribes, hence the incomprehesible accent, fondness for alcohol and getting the shit kicked ouf of them by the Normans.

36. Posted by mikeyBoab (Travel Guru 5077 posts) 10y

Quoting Pardus

Scotland was actually colonised by Irish tribescheesygrin:

As Billy Connolly said, quoting the head of the Irish tribe colonising Scotland "C'mon lads. I've found this other place, and it's even RAINIER!"

Anyhoo, back to the arena of gentlemanly debate - you should've seen the state of the mothers with the junk food. The main spokesperson was obviously no stranger to a fish supper herself.

37. Posted by Jase007 (Travel Guru 8870 posts) 10y

Quoting Pardus

No need for jealousy, since Scotland was actually colonised by Irish tribes, hence the incomprehesible accent, fondness for alcohol and getting the shit kicked ouf of them by the Normans.

Ha ha ha ha you may have just written the best summary of the "History of Scotland in one sentence" ever

38. Posted by mikeyBoab (Travel Guru 5077 posts) 10y

Actually, the history of Scotland goes right back to the time of creation. When God was designing the world, he said to the Angel Michael, "Michael, I shall create the most beautiful land in the universe, and it shall be named 'Scotland'. There will be beautiful snow-capped mountains and lush green valleys. There will be deep blue lakes, rivers and streams, and I shall fill them with salmon and trout aplenty. It shall be the most beautiful land ever." to which Michael replied, "But father, do you not think that you are being unfair and overly nice to these 'Scots'?" God replied "No chance, you should see who I'm giving them for neighbours."

39. Posted by Jase007 (Travel Guru 8870 posts) 10y

And didn't he just give you lot the shitty end of the stick with the neighbours.
At least with his second attempt, he made sure there was 1000km of water in between New Zealand and the dodgy neighbours Australia.

40. Posted by Pardus (Respected Member 2356 posts) 10y

Quoting mikeyBoab

God replied "No chance, you should see who I'm giving them for neighbours."

Now come on, the Irish are not *that* bad

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