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Jase and Mikey one-liner thread

Travel Forums Off Topic Jase and Mikey one-liner thread

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421. Posted by Purdy (Travel Guru 3546 posts) 8y

Sorry l wont be back from my own personal invasion of Vietnam by 23rd Nov - l will be home 3 days later - though l would think l would need to do some washing before l jetted off to join the invasion!

However - how about l go on recruitment drive in VN - you know with them on our side we can surely take Canada!!

422. Posted by tway (Travel Guru 7273 posts) 8y

Canada would like to inform invadors that it's a balmy 23 C today, so leave the woolies at home but bring an umbrella. Provincial laws differ, but here in Quebec all invasions much be preceded by exhautive paperwork, filled out in triplicate, and can only take place between 3 a.m. and 4 a.m. from November to February. Canada will not be held responsible for lost or stolen items, including bats, guns, whips, chains, masking tape, threatening letters, cat-of-nine-tails, spooky voice-disguise machines, or hats or mittens. Snowmobiles must be driven on the right-hand side and parking metres are in effect for all vehicles.

Oh, and bring martinis.

423. Posted by Purdy (Travel Guru 3546 posts) 8y

Quoting tway

Canada would like to inform invadors that it's a balmy 23 C today, so leave the woolies at home but bring an umbrella. Provincial laws differ, but here in Quebec all invasions much be preceded by exhautive paperwork, filled out in triplicate, and can only take place between 3 a.m. and 4 a.m. from November to February. Canada will not be held responsible for lost or stolen items, including bats, guns, whips, chains, masking tape, threatening letters, cat-of-nine-tails, spooky voice-disguise machines, or hats or mittens. Snowmobiles must be driven on the right-hand side and parking metres are in effect for all vehicles.

Oh, and bring martinis.

AHA - but Tina Jase is on night shift and in between calculations he can fill in the paperwork!!! The invasion is still on!!!!!!!!

424. Posted by Q' (Travel Guru 1987 posts) 8y

Oi !! Canada !?!? Hey, that's where I'm from !!

Why would I want to invade Canada !?! I'm already a citizen! I earn income and pay taxes.

425. Posted by Jase007 (Travel Guru 8870 posts) 8y

It sounds like Tina has all the weapons for the invasion at her place (kinky ;)) so we won't have to carry any (more room for food & drink).

We will use special sonic weapons so powerful that it will break all the Canadians morals and they will surrender in droves.
These special weapons have been used to great effect by the Canadians on the rest of the world for many years now, so it's our chance to give them a 'taste of their own'. CD's of Celene Dion singing that crud from the ship sinking movie and Brian Adams with his version of Robin Hoods theme tune will be blasted continually until they surrender.

The invasion is looking for sponsors, so if anyone knows a company with lots of money spare we are willing to talk. Please note fast food & soda drinks manufacturers need not apply, as this is a healthy invasion
Oh and any sponsorship will have to be in a currency that doesn't go down like a whore in a brothel so, that rules out the USD, but oil, Pounds, Eruo, Gold, Platnum are good though.
Isa, good idea on the film making (more money in the invasion bank) the Parrot has stated that he is willing to look after all money matters, so you need to liase with him.

Q' you have a choice, join in or suffer the horrid consequences of the above mentioned torches.

Purdy, well dear that's ok, we'll carry a cardboard cut-out until your arrival with the Vietnamese chefs.

Sort T, but we won't be carrying any change so you'll have to sub us for the parking meter money and you have no chance of the invasion driving on the right hand side.

And as for paperwork, I've got enough of my own to deal with and the only other expert I know in filling out forms is Mikey. He'll sort it out, we'll give him one of those spangled new Ibook things with some of the sponsorship money.

"Blame Canada, Blame Canada"

426. Posted by Purdy (Travel Guru 3546 posts) 8y

Quoting Jase007

Purdy, well DEAR that's ok, we'll carry a cardboard cut-out until your arrival with the Vietnamese chefs.

DONT CALL ME DEAR

Purdy goes off muttering about switching allegiances to the Canadians

[ Edit: Edited on Oct 20, 2007, at 5:20 AM by Purdy ]

427. Posted by tway (Travel Guru 7273 posts) 8y

Canada must inform Jase007 that any further threats will result in having to spend 1 week in Manitoba with nothing but a speedo and a pocket knife. It's is at Canadas discretion whether to also cover said Jase007 in honey and graham crackers and set him out to pasture.

428. Posted by Jase007 (Travel Guru 8870 posts) 8y

Quoting Purdy

Quoting Jase007

Purdy, well DEAR that's ok, we'll carry a cardboard cut-out until your arrival with the Vietnamese chefs.

DONT CALL ME DEAR

Purdy goes off muttering about switching allegiances to the Canadians

OK, CHEAP if your going to change sides that quickly no free booze for you at the pre invasion beer fest.

The Beerman will be setting up drink pick-up locations to ensure this is not a sober invasion, it'll still be a healthy one as beer is safer to drink than water in most places (Labatts & Moleson excluded).

As for Canada's threats Tway, I laugh at you and in the face of your Canadian checkered shirt wearing lumber jack kinky dreams (actually sounds like fun;)).

Jase wanders off to find a telly to watch the Rugby world cup final, wondering who to support ....

429. Posted by Isadora (Travel Guru 13926 posts) 8y

Wow! (Once again...)

I go away for a few (or several) hours and look what happens... As a Moderator of this forum, I can't let this type of anarchy take place!! Purdy, I'm sorry, you're either with us or against us (sound like a familiar US president's phrase?)!! Better to be called DEAR than cheeky cow. (Trust me, I know!) As you will be in Viet Nam for the first wave of the invasion, accept the DEAR and just recruit as many supporters as possible. We'll feed Jase massive quantities of good beer so he won't call you DEAR again. We need your help.

T, the US faction of the invasion force has no problem driving on the right side of the road and will be the front line to protect those who are road-challenged on this side of the pond. Since the Canuckistani loony and USD are of (almost) equal value, I'm sure all the nickels I have in a jar will cover the parking meter requirements for the whole invasion force. I am informed that snowboards, surfboards and skateboards are exempt from the parking meter regulations and we will park where we want for free.

Contrary to popular belief, moose and cows do not like graham crackers and the honey just makes them lick their lips. Coating Jase in these assorted food stuffs will only increase the number of available recruits for the invasion force. Besides, late November is rutting season for the moose so they will be a bit testy about being distracted from their "call of nature' due to the honey. They will not attack the bearer of honey but those who get in their way of that honey. Nice try though...

With the current weather patterns, a week in Manitoba in just a speedo will be a piece of cake. Besides, you have given Jase a knife so he can collect bark or other items to fashion clothing to keep warm. You've picked the wrong person to set out in the wilderness with minimal items. Mwahahahahahahahaha!!!!!

As for Beerman and me - we shall be setting up the beer tent.

430. Posted by Q' (Travel Guru 1987 posts) 8y

Quoting Jase007

Q' you have a choice, join in or suffer the horrid consequences of the above mentioned torches.

Technically, I joined in 1985. There was an oath and a judge and RCMP guards and stuff. Just curious though, won't the burning torches deflate that rubber ducky you're floating on rightnow ?

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