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Jase and Mikey one-liner thread

Travel Forums Off Topic Jase and Mikey one-liner thread

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461. Posted by Isadora (Travel Guru 13926 posts) 9y

Quoting tway

Can someone help me with tis Guinness-record-breaking martini, please? I've tried sipping it, slurping it, doing the back paddle, the front crawl, holding my breath underwater (or, gin), splashing passing pooping eagulls - and the thing still reaches up to my shoulders. Bring straws!

And where is this record-breaking martini??? In Canuckistan? If so, are you trying to lure us into the invasion prematurely? Or, have you arrived on Fiji and trying to spy on our training sessions? Hiding behind Purdy's cardboard cutout isn't going to work as the seagulls will definitely give away your position. They are sluts for martinis. You will find yourself in a re-inactment of any number of scenes from Alfred Hitchcock's "The Birds". Actually, the smell of gin will also be a dead giveaway because the sea breezes will waft that offensive odor all across the island.

Maybe you should reconsider your stand and join us. I think we can find a nice place in Nebraska or Oklahoma or Montana where you can live cheaply. Okay, you may have to haul your water from the river, but the flat, boring expanses of prairie, corn and cattle will be breathtaking. Come on - you know you want to join. You get to vacation for the next 3 weeks in Fiji. (Just bring your allergy meds as the sled dogs and RCMP's horses are here too. Even they don't want to live in Canuckistan.)

462. Posted by Jase007 (Travel Guru 8870 posts) 9y

Gone fishing, be back in 4 weeks or so

463. Posted by mikeyBoab (Travel Guru 5077 posts) 9y

Do you ever stop and do any work?

464. Posted by Isadora (Travel Guru 13926 posts) 9y

Quoting Jase007

Gone fishing, be back in 4 weeks or so

Nice!

Does this mean the Canuckinstani Invasion has been postponed?? We'll just be sitting here in Fiji, waiting for further instructions. Oh Pool Boy, another round, please!!

Have a safe trip to S. Africa and don't fall off the bike!! We want you back in one piece - not carrying a leg over one shoulder! ;)

465. Posted by tway (Travel Guru 7273 posts) 9y

Have fun, Jase!!!! Bring us back a water buffalo.

Don't worry about the invasion. Canuckistan is still busy with Operation In-Laws and it's raining out today and we don't do rain invasions. Plus tomorrow we're planning to make momentary peace in Fiji just to get a little sun in

466. Posted by Jase007 (Travel Guru 8870 posts) 9y

Quoting tway

Have fun, Jase!!!! Bring us back a water buffalo.

Don't worry about the invasion. Canuckistan is still busy with Operation In-Laws and it's raining out today and we don't do rain invasions. Plus tomorrow we're planning to make momentary peace in Fiji just to get a little sun in

Dozy cow, I know your canadian but i'm going to AFRICA not Asia. Might be able to find you a Wilderbeast though got a spear or gun to go hunting?

467. Posted by Isadora (Travel Guru 13926 posts) 9y

Quoting Jase007

Quoting tway

Have fun, Jase!!!! Bring us back a water buffalo.

Dozy cow, I know your canadian but i'm going to AFRICA not Asia. Might be able to find you a Wilderbeast though got a spear or gun to go hunting?

T, are you really going to let him speak to you that way????
Okay, I've been called a cheeky mare, a cheeky monkey and a cheeky cow - but a dosy cow??? What the hell is that???

Just remind him that Asian Water Buffalo and Cape Buffalo, though not direct descendants, are still part of the family of Bovidae and Cape Buffalo are considered Wild African Water Buffalo. With only a few hours before his departure for South Africa (where they have Wild African Water (Cape) Buffalo), he'll be hard-pressed to find enough evidence to disprove the point. He's an engineer - not a Biologist. Engineers think they know everything. Biologists know almost everything, including buffalo (buffalos or buffaloes - all three are correct).

468. Posted by Purdy (Travel Guru 3546 posts) 9y

Dont worry T - if you want a water buffalo l passed about 20 million today (and they always have a white bird of the feathered variety with them why is that???) l will throw one on the bus and fedex it over too you at the end of the month!!

Dozy cow - local British term of endearment l think - a nice way of perhaps calling you blonde - l wouldnt take it bad personally but then again l get hot and bothered when l get called dear!

469. Posted by Isadora (Travel Guru 13926 posts) 9y

Quoting Purdy

Dont worry T - if you want a water buffalo l passed about 20 million today (and they always have a white bird of the feathered variety with them why is that???) l will throw one on the bus and fedex it over too you at the end of the month!!

Oooohhh - I know the answer to this one!!!!!! The white birds are cattle egrets. Snowy egrets in the US also hang out with cattle, buffalo and horses. (None really hang out with sheep or goats - too small.) Egrets also don't hang out with the big animals when they are lying down and move on to another standing/grazing animal. It's a two-fold reason, the first being food related and the second being that of protection. Grazing cattle cause the insects in the grass to move, making it easier for the egrets to find them. Usually, there will be 1-3 egrets per cow only. Egrets position themselves by the head, front legs or belly of the cow. Cattle egrets will also perch on their cow to pick off insects such as ticks and flies. When it comes to protection, if the cow responds to something, the egrets (who are busy looking for food and not for predators) take notice and take flight. The cattle are the egrets alarm system.

Dozy cow - local British term of endearment l think - a nice way of perhaps calling you blonde - l wouldnt take it bad personally but then again l get hot and bothered when l get called dear!

Is being called blonde a good thing or a bad thing???

470. Posted by Jase007 (Travel Guru 8870 posts) 9y

Sun's out, stuck inside, supposed to be working & what am I doing????????