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Does long-haul travelling ruin romance?

Travel Forums General Talk Does long-haul travelling ruin romance?

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1. Posted by Gerrit_BE (Full Member 83 posts) 10y

Being on the road means leaving often, once you are integrated and feel the need for a new challenge, it means you live behind what you have and set for new horizons.

Those shorter terms in every place, does mean it's difficult to get a steady relationship. But of course, travelling needs don't take away other natural needs... The whole point is to me (and very likely to more travellers) that I am not prepared to give up travelling anyway, while my romantic ideal would be finding that special girl and discovering the globe together. I think it can really make a difference in a relationship: not only you share the passion for long-haul travelling, also the constant change of decors mean you constantly get new experiences to share, you avoid routine in a way. Finding a traveller girl who prefers long haul travelling over a family and kids, is the hard part though, and there's no such thing as a 'travellers only' club where you can meet people with the same dreams in life.

I now have a crush on an Australian girl, there's a big distance in between us, but we share many many dreams and ideals, and she likes travelling as well. So who knows... I am a pessimistic person so probably something will get in between us. But in my dreams, I'd just take off with her of course. We're even fascinated by the same countries...

So how did you all find that person who you share travelling desires and more with?

PS: I am mainly directing this to those who indeed share my ideal of travelling together, rather than setteling down somewhere

PS II: please don't think I am 'advertising' myself here!! I try to live and let happen rather than to actively search...

2. Posted by Petra M (Budding Member 65 posts) 10y

It can work if you both are honest with each other, have open communication, an optimistic view on life, and share the love of travelling. With e-mail so readily accessible these days - cellphones, cafes, blackberries, etc. - you can stay in contact with your loved one pretty much anywhere in the world. O.k, maybe not in the middle of a desert, but you get my point. A long distance relationship or long-haul romance works if you are both committed in keeping regular contact with each other. And, you must have an optimistic view of things, welcoming change into your life at every opportunity, and that everything happens for a reason. What I mean is, if you work on this long distance relationship (be optomistic and creative), both of you will have a great chance of putting together an amazing plan that will allow you to travel together. I wish you much luck and happiness with your Australian girl.

Petra Mehner
Vancouver, BC Canada

3. Posted by Mel. (Travel Guru 4567 posts) 10y

Hello Gerrit

When i was 19 i had not travelled much. I went from Ireland, to London, England, to work, for a year. There i met an Australian guy, who was in the process of travelling a lot. I was fascinated, with all the travelling he had done. We started dating, and a few months later started travelling together. It was the best move i have ever made. It caused travelling to become a life long hobby.

He went back to Australia, and i went back to Ireland, eventually.
I am now 37, with a boyfriend and child. Me and my boyfriend divide our money, between us, because he does not like travelling, as much as i do. I get to travel, sometimes alone, and sometimes, with my 5 year old daughter. My boyfriend gets to go out at night, a lot. He would be interested enough, in travelling, if we had enough money, for us both, to do everything.

But dont tie yourself to one way of life. Travelling is great, but u will develope other interests. Doing a bit of everything will balance your life. A bit of travelling, family, work, other hobbies, and going out gives lots of variety and stimulation.

Mel

4. Posted by Oz2Asia (Budding Member 14 posts) 10y

Oh. My. Goodness. Finally, there's someone out there that also believes that travelling far outweighs the whole settling down aspect of life. For years, I've been in and out of romances, trying to share my passion for travel with blokes who eventually want to have the 2.3 kids, picket fence, gum tree in the backyard saga. So, with as many leadweights on my ankles as I could manage, I studied nursing, so as to free myself from the grasp of one place, once and for all - to open up the world for me in so many ways. And I figured I'd be a single chickadee forever, so its kinda nice to know I'm not.
jb

5. Posted by cos (Budding Member 4 posts) 10y

It can be good if you happen to find the right person.

Last summer in Brussels I met someone for a few hours but we just seemed to click and arranged to meet.

However, after a few complications we got seperated and I will probably never see her again. It hurt so much and I still remember her.

6. Posted by kalimero (Budding Member 50 posts) 10y

I went travelling this summer to turkey and met this aussie guy. We clicked straight away, but of course he was going back to London. A few change of plan and did manage to spend a week with him in london before flying back to canada. He was suppose to come visit in december and take it from there. i hadnt heard from him in two weeks so i gave him a call to be told he was no longer coming to canada as he wasnt a winter person ? and many other excuses so i told him very politely, to have a nice life ! he was bum but really i had no intention of waiting for him another year when he hardly keeps in touch. its just too bad cuz i really thought we were good together but obviously i was wrong.

my view in long distance relationship? i think petra's right:

"It can work if you both are honest with each other, have open communication, an optimistic view on life, and share the love of travelling"

i'm kinda tired of guys telling me their into travelling when there definition of travelling is a few weeks here and there. nothing wrong with that but that's not what i have in mind really.
my friend said to me, its hard enough finding a guy let alone one thats willing to travel the world.

i know its not easy, especially being back home after so long, but happy to hear there is some guys out there interested in being on the road ! i have so many projects like studying in Japan for a year, working a summer in Alaska, and eventually down the road do some volunteering in Africa and of course finish my bachelor degree, that i think i'll be single the rest of my life =)

carol

7. Posted by Gerrit_BE (Full Member 83 posts) 10y

Yes, it can be hard. Most people seem to seek their ideal life in setteling down, having children and staying in their own little familiar world... Finding a girl with no desire for children is hard enough, and finding one that also wants to wander and that doesn't mind my handicap... It can take ages before I'll find someone suitable I'm afraid :( But I somehow don't want to just give up and settle. I mean, the day I find what I'd like, I'll have the sort of life I always dreamt of. So it's worth the wait!

8. Posted by Gerrit_BE (Full Member 83 posts) 9y

Thought I'd update this as well...

I had the luck of meeting a girl now who is also devotely into travelling, having spent a long time in Asia and the M.East and now busy exploring Europe. A pleasure to talk to and a great person. Unfortunately she has a boyfriend who travels with her :( Bad luck. But it did remind me that it is definitely possible to meet the right person and take off together, although I do know that it will be a long search probably.

The problem is that travellers are spread all over the cities and countries. It's a pity there's no pubs where travellers meet up, as this would make it easy to 'filter' the travellers from the others. Compare it to pubs for minorities, who that way have it easier to get in touch with likeminded people. Shame that there's no places where travellers meet up while on the road...

9. Posted by chemukh (Full Member 132 posts) 9y

I feel it's not just related to travelling, but also at every different way of life than the one we were supposed to learn from The Flinstones (you know: the husband, the wife, the baby, the dinodog and the 9 to 6 job)

For me, I could be as weird as green. As I've been single almost all my life, or at least with no formal boyfriends, and with my goals in life far away of forming a family and increasing overpopulation. An believe me, to be female who live by herself, work with exotic animals, travel alone, prefer to spend the New Year Eve on the top of a mountain than in a party and, worst of all, live in a male chauvinist corner of the world... it's not easy. I'm almost sure that if someday I find a partner in life, he's not gonna be from here, where men feel intimidated by a women like me.

10. Posted by oslaue (Full Member 571 posts) 9y

kalimero

i am very very surprised to hear that you mention that very few guys travel the world,
your 31, so i think perhaps in your age bracket then yes i will agree there because everyone by then
kinda settles and in respects are forced to settle. sometimes people forget that its not so easy for some people
to find jobs in there field when it is for others.

i have many friends who are my 24-27 years old who are travelling the world as we speak or have just returned.
most of them went away for 3 months, 6 months, 1-2 years. im not talking about some of my friends i reckon about 70%
of them have travelled for a long period of time.

about 8 of them were living and working in toronto! others in vancouver! much of them are living and working in south east asia and australia too!

i myself am of travelling in 2 months time too!

Gerrit - if you go to an english bar in south korea! all the english will be travellers! go to an irish bar in australia and it will be the same too! go to a south african bar in london and you will meet south africans...so there are bars!

Catu is scaring me!